Snot Man Blue Part 1, from THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT WOOD

Snot Man Blue There was no skin and hair on his lower and upper big round torso. Instead, there was thick and blue snot. Some would go, ‘Oh what a distracting gross sideshow!’ ‘Well, at least he has my ears, and your big puffy nose, and my eyes and your mouth and toes,’ his mother had remarked to his father who was holding a hose. ‘Positive you are always dear but, like the doctors had explained in the hall, “If you both hadn’t had too much snot in you both your son wouldn’t have been born a snot boy at all”!’ Cried Snot Boy Blue’s parents did for years and years indeed. ‘I’d rather have had a thoroughbred for a son. At least he’d be of use. Indeed! What use is a Snot Boy Blue to the world!’ his father snapped with speed. ‘Don’t worry you two. Even though I’m terribly blue and blue I’ll never be the same – 100% human – like you two. I promise one day I’ll do something you two, something great to end our blue.’ When he was 22, over legally a man’s age, he got a job at Elmwood University earning a minimum wage. Was he a cleaner there? No. Was he as chef there? No. He worked in scientific research for The Entomology Department there. At night he stood in the gardens and insects common and rare, as they flew through, got stuck on his rubbery snot body that was sort of a snare. The researchers had no doubt they’d so many fascinating insects to learn about. TO BE CONTINUED ... in Part 2