Long Disdained Poems
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God, I am overwhelmed within me,
But you are merciful everlastingly
You release your sincere spirit of shameless serenity
And you wash me thoroughly with it wholeheartedly,
For I've been lost for many a year
I must grin in gladness ear to ear
Fill my bathtub with cheer,
Oh waters of Aphradere
I am content, but down low once more…
I've been brought low, but what for?
I have been troublesome to the core,
For change has been a challenging chore
Engulf yourself into the iridescent island of haven
Eager to reach the highest point in this darksome den
Empathy is in your elevating eyes of mirth
Escape with me to paradise, away from Earth
Drowning in the waters of Aphradere
What's been lost has been lost for many a year
I want to get out of here…
I want to get out of here…
Drowning in the waters of Aphradere
What's been lost can be found, my darling dear
I want to get out of here…
I want to get out of here…
Cheer up, oh sorrowful waters...waters...
Paint a smile upon your sons and daughters
You utter words of wisdom and it gushes so beautifully and oh so bright
You utter words of lost love and it brushes against me day and night
I am disheartened by the removal of your heart against my own
I am discouraged by the disapproval of our togetherness and making very little progress in the making in this bottomless mess
I am on my own in the woods of my meandering mind, feeling alone
I am disdained by the departure of our happiness, abandoned and left behind in the wilderness of meaningless distress
Drowning in the waters of Aphradere
What's been lost has been lost for many a year
I want to get out of here…
I want to get out of here…
Drowning in the waters of Aphradere
What's been lost can be found, my darling dear
I want to get out of here…
I want to get out of here…
I fear for you, my dear…
Shed not a single tear…
Words were meant to fill the grief-stricken solitude
So, let go and let live...
Waters draw near as we meet our mesmerizing interlude
Let happiness and hope appear
Steer your way out of turbulent seas of Aphradere
In your blazing blood-shot eyes I see
you seethe inside in the inferno of anger.
The twisted tongue throws out raging words,
charged with the toxin of your venomous mind.
The sanctity of sane sense turns into
fury embers erupting from violent volcano,
curl up feral with the spreading smoke of spite,
rays of rationale you don’t see in the sun of sobriety.
I don’t run away from you to self-heal,
or seek shelter in disdained den of disregard,
nor do I ignite another flame within enraged me
to face you intrepidly, and to feel good in retaliation.
As a fire can’t ever extinguish or contain
another fire for they burn fast the linked space,
I confront you with composed confidence of poise,
and don’t let you incinerate the sanctum of my soul.
Flow of absolution emanates from within
with embracing empathy of divine fountain,
my compassion drenches you with serene spray,
douses the fire in you with the shower of forgiveness.
Can she who births a human flock,
forget to give her newborn suck.
Oh yes indeed! She may forget,
and leave their basic needs unmet.
To amnesia our minds are prone,
As by wild winds our lives are blown,
seniors in nursing homes alone
forgotten by their flesh and bone.
And what of children on the streets
who forage bins for food to eat.
Clothes dark with dirt, disdained and scorned,
Forgotten as though never born.
Some soldiers who return from war
Are left to suffer from their scars.
They fought to secure freedom sweet,
Forgotten now they roam the street.
Worst are the infants strapped in seats,
and left to perish in the heat.
So many die, it is so sad
Forgotten by their mom or dad.
Feeling forgotten in your soul,
like a sole mole inside a hole?
Cheer up and ponder well this thought,
humans forget, but God does not.
Line of inquiry:
"The dream seems real since we don a form,
borrowed from elements of that domain,
but if we simply chose not to conform,
we wake up when desires to rest are lain."
The turning wheel of time
stirs up the dust of disarray,
settles in the crumbling cauldron
of the disordered delusive life.
In the maiming moments
of disdained dejection,
truth tumbles in the mélange
of disorientation chaos.
Under the fantasy firmament
the psyche in the desert of desolation,
embeds the shaped imagery in mindscape,
searches for a novel niche
in self-constructed reserve of reverie
to make a montage of extant rainbow.
Dormant notion invents dream,
steers the mind into deceptive domain,
where the sense of time collapses,
making the frame of timeless trance,
where the dreamer makes a mural
of the shifting scenes of desire
in the self-built illusory maze,
until divine consciousness makes the wake-up call.
Acuity suffused with sunset spectrum
designs the derelict desires,
fading in the perpetuity of illusion,
mistaking stable silence for resonant permanence,
embeds the eternal efflux in enlightened soul
sailing buoyantly to the bay of bliss
where the cognizant essence avers
solidity is an epithet of illusion.
RAINING MELODY OF MEMORY
You walked away through mist along garden trail,
what stayed after nothing with me ever remained
was the amorous sea of your scent for me to sail
in the wake of your melting shadow I saw waned.
What stayed after nothing with me ever remained
was amorphous image of fathomless void you left,
an abyss in the cleft of my broken heart disdained,
in parched dunes of aloneness I felt fervently bereft.
What stayed after nothing with me ever remained
were ringing ripples of sound of silence you made,
I heard the music when melody of memory rained
with the hidden fervor of emotion you left unsaid.
April 19, 2019
We long for arms to hug us
when nobody is willing to give up
a minute of their invaluable time;
a consoling embrace, a sympathetic look
can bring much empathy to our tears
and replace what others took
from us having stripped us of all pride,
but not of the unceasing will to rise!
Besides love and its fortitude,
everything else appears small;
we must declare it to all
and it will change hearts,
lifting them to another altitude...
becoming floating balloons!
We learned from mother
those incredible strengths
to confront life's strifes
and they became instincts
protecting our inheritance,
guiding us with prudence;
the older we got, the grayer
we saw the strands of our hair.
Besides love and its fortitude,
glory and power are the aspirations
of plebeians who weren't born to govern others
and feed their ego with conceivable anger:
knocking down everybody standing
in their way, woe to the one rebelling,
not complying with their rules of disdained platitude;
and certainly, death can be a sure thing as his fear.
No raised pinnacle marked the place
No pure white limestone shining
Where Ramesses slept looked commonplace
to foil the robbers scrying.
Yet he had moved the earth and sky
this pharaoh disdained all rivals.
His bounty buried beneath the sand
portrayed a life beneath blue skies
his star encrusted tomb ethereal
his Ka rising from Death’s hand.
The hills of Thebes his place of rest
and beneath him his father lay
amongst the great he’d be the highest
his battle standards on display.
He ruled with iron hand on staff
as a Godhead he was portrayed.
Most mighty and acclaimed, no man
was he, who felled the Hittite chaff;
beneath his chariots wheels flayed
the denizens of Egypt’s land.
Worshiped was he in temples true
his semblance graces Abu Simbel
with eyes wide o’er lake so blue
his gaze belays the infidels.
Beside him she, Nefertari
laid claim to a sacred place
held above all others his wife
most renowned for her beauty
a love to last through time and space
may all true hearts pay such tariff.
If I could have just one desire
maybe multiples of sevens
I would swallow my pride
place it inside
Up Chuck spew out the spoonful of defoul
on a tablespoon
sprinkle it with honey no sugar
swallow the bitter filler of disdained
all those monarchies enrage hierarchies
Throw up spew out a spoon full of defoul
O, what's wrong wit me
In my part of this sinful heresy
repelling me I throw up my jealousies
all of this inside of me
Upchuck spew a spoonful of defile
swallowing like a spoonful of antacid
I would take more molasses
I spit on my shame
I throw up in vain
but it's not what goes in my mouth
but yet what comes out
Raw species upchucking
crawfishes filthy and hurt
rather eat dirt
but those things that come forth
from the mouth go out from the heart
come out of the heart
and these things defoul the man
Please! Don't don't say this all over again!!
Help us all LORD
1/6/22
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2022
St Matthews 15:18
The turning wheel of time stirs up the dust of disarray,
that settles in the crumbling cauldron of disordered life.
In the maiming moments of disdained dejection,
truth tumbles in the mélange of disorienting chaos.
Under the scorching blaze of the envy flame,
the desiccated soul suffers parched and forsaken,
searches for the niche of sanguinity in self-belief
to get the self-seeking shade of hope in frustration.
The sapling of irresistible longing rooted deep in desire,
nurtured in the receptive core of the longing heart,
blossoms the flower of passionate hedonism,
luring the being with the illusion of impulsive urge.
In the disorderly squall of divesting dismay,
the mangled mind is disheveled to a dishabille state,
tries to snap the chords of captivating greed,
the psychic cascade of unconcern carries them away.
Chasing the mirage across the dunes of desolation,
the hope of taking life to the oasis disappears deluded.
As the beleaguering storm of disenchantment blows,
consciousness takes the correction course to undo despair.
A NEW SUNRISE I WILL SEE
When blood is hot in your tender heart
it flows in the veins with scarlet passion.
Promises can be fallacious, you haven’t learnt
for they tantalize you, a wrong perception.
Mystique whirlpool the curious mind tries to explore,
the veritable vortex of vile temptation sucks you in.
You plunge to abysmal depth of disguised false lure,
you can’t float for your disdained heart breaks within.
No longer a stranger in my life you bewilder me,
why your eyes of stars couldn’t see the dark night.
Your ruins eviscerate my flowing feelings where I see
you wash your mind clean of the filth of fated plight.
You’ll rise like golden dust from the debris
In my crimson sky a new sunrise I’ll see.
June 21, 2018