Long Disappointing Poems
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I totally adore distance learning!
I realize, it’s the best for me!
in the morning got up so late...
still I could catch up with my class!
don’t see my brilliant teacher!
(probably she turned off her camera!)
Is she still in bed?
but I see her not-so-tough assignment.
can't really chat with my precious friends,
(actually I can - figured it out),
but I spot they are all there!
oh, no! one or two are missing!
surely they will catch up by tomorrow evening.
it’s terrific, it's impressive, it's so much fun!
I have a superbly hilarious story to listen!
about Lima beans!
guess what! it's a dish surprisingly mouthwatering!
Right now that's what my mommy is cooking!
Ms. Jolly left a challenging word-game,
she is so kind! She knows I am thrilled with them,
most probably she had me in her mind!
Mr. De Fillipis assigned our class a complicated math problem!
no worries, I will solve it before anyone else!
oh my!
we can do music and phys.ed online?!!!
that’s the splendiferous fun!
have a great time, everyone!
the day will pass unwrinkled, smooth, like a breeze,
I won’t bother my already-stressed mom.
we are all online,
mom and dad and me and Joan.
it’s a little disappointing that we can’t play tag outside,
although the sun is shining so bright!
the birds are chirping their mellifluous songs,
and we are all home-bound!
right now, I am supremely glad
we have distance learning,
even if I make mistakes,
no one can catch me!!!!!
And the Oscar goes to… The Academy.
Oh my God… We did it! We won our own Oscar.
From the Academy to the Academy I would like to say thank you.
Thank you for your Outstanding performance in creating such a mental, emotional, heartbreaking, joyous, disappointing, humiliating, happy, depressing, exciting, judgmental award show. Thank you for the emotional highs and lows and for the honor of displaying all the ness - nervousness, gratefulness, hurtfulness, happiness, sadness.
I would also like to say thank you to the Academy for designing the ultimate, top-notched award that appears to be the great “I made it Moment” of validation in one’s life. Thank you for producing a show so much so that it is made to be all about "the Oscar" (the trophy). The heightened level of anticipation, anxiety and emphasis leading towards the show is so focused on who will be obtaining one of these prestigious awards. I am so grateful and honored on behalf of the Academy to receive this award, so once again, Thank you.
Message to the actors and actresses from me, not the Academy.
It appears when it comes to the actors and actresses (nominated or not) you seem the least valuable, yet you bring the greatest value, not the award itself. Ok, you didn’t win, or you were not even nominated, does that diminish your role as an actor? No, not at all. This award does not validate who you are. You are Amazing! God knows you are Amazing, I know you are Amazing and the world knows you are Amazing. Also, keep in mind, it’s not about the “award,” but the REWARD. So do not allow your focus to be heighten or dampened about obtaining this award, because God has gifted, equipped and rewarded you with the “Greatest Reward” - The Gift of Acting, so you already won, Period. It’s over, nothing to prove! So hold your head up, let your light continue to shine and continue to use your gift to fulfill God’s purpose, not man’s.
It shreds me when released, then bursts into confetti.
Words are papier-mâché, articles of all of us, tabloids torn apart then glued
back together piece by piece.
Playing pretend made a masterpiece that will be gone before
that big breeze or a fast move cracks the motif, and the brittle shell is more
disgusting than most I'd really believe or expect to see.
The motive is unrepairable, won't be repressed, still there nevertheless
in a pool of gripping distress.
What's the point of fables, what's the point of idols too?
They are usually strung out and disappointing.
See happiness till it's all disparaged. Exposed so hope will take off, and make space for the expanding emotions that are less forgiving.
These make up a stage where the play performed is most unfriendly.
Resulted in damn ruination. It's televised so there can't be wiggle room
for reparations. Abolished, no evaporated, it's no use if the truth
clears rooms and leaves them speechless, tongue-tied, it really shocks without awe.
It changes mood, and the masses will say really just how they feel, so next we are supposed to pick up the pieces if they still even there.
In short, they're taken aback; these stabs in our back will collectively mature into a scar that can't be scratched.
Sculptures turn sulfur, what once was marble-made, was chiseled down,
and whittled away.
Downhill rolls a derby of the disturbed, perturbed in a gaseous state; a floating stench alone will cry, tear ducts leaking and streaming in unison, still non-union; the establishment put em' up to it.
I wish it was that easy to say.
You'll need to excuse me, I'll just need a couple days.
Last Will and Testament
I think ?, I have known all along
that one day, you would be gone,
as the days – for me – where few,
not much left – for me – from you.
Everything I have said - you have read.
there is not a word - you have not heard,
and so my dear, what is there left for me to say
to squelch the fear, in some compassionate way ?
Brighten up – for you and me – this sad, sad day.
The days we have known, now come to an end.
count upon you ?, will not know, can not call friend.
As you depart, step from my Probe, silver gray,
on your way into the light of a brand new day.
My soul sits silent – not a word – nothing more to say
for it all was – had been said – about the way
in which you left me, many times before, and that day.
Silence, it appears, is to be my fate,
darkened corridors, nothing you state
to enlighten – closure, none – no clean slate
as you move on, behind you, lock the gate.
I leave to L. B. - silence – I bequeath, to her, freedom.
Freedom from me, my presence, my thoughts, my feelings.
Freedom from my words, my prose and poetry of enlightenment,
enlightenments twisted by the prisons, the prisms of her mind
that have prevented her from enjoying, - with a clear conscious.
This I understand, for I know the life she has chosen in the light of
her nurturing, her nature and how they have come together
to create the heart and soul of this troubled young lady.
I bequeath to Linda, my acceptance, ( disappointing and heartbreaking
as this may be ), and my forgiveness ( for all ) for her termination
( in silent avoidance ) of our ?, friendship.
I leave to L. B. my heartfelt, best wishes for her new freedom ?, to enjoy
the relationship she has been cultivating for some time and for the
adventures that may come her way, as I, in specks, in slivers, in flakes,
flakes of fading light that vanish from sight as the wind changes
and I become not but a distant, fading memory, lost,
behind the steel doors of those dark corridors in her memories hoard .
Signed this 29th day, in the of our lord, 2004
Wm. J. Atfield Jr.
B. J. “A” 2
I've been beaten down, back stabbed and drug through the mud
But yet all I search for is my true love
I've been thrown down stairs and spit in my face
I've never really found my own happy place
From a sexual abuse to my first love with a razor
I let my family down, "that's not how we raised her"
Because I failed school and I saw all these guys
That would later account for the tears in my eyes
I tried filling the void where my abuse burned a hole
in my life, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul
But nothing could mend it no matter what I tried
All the drinks, the pills, or the tears I have cried
I was hurt, I felt broken, I wanted to fade away
I couldn't bare to look in the mirror another day
So I fought and I yelled and got wasted again
And I tried to fix it with more pills and more men
From one relationshipship to the next trying to find love
I just didn't understand the plan from above
I just knew I was cracked like a porcelain bowl
No matter who tried they couldn't make me whole
I made people cry, and I hurt their pride
And I just didn't care how hard they would try
Because when they hurt I felt happy 'cause now theyre like me
Sitting there wanting what just couldn't be
I couldn't be happy, joyful or smile
Unless I put on a mask for awhile
But I still felt useless, depressed and alone
Because I couldn't have a love for my own
I kept my walls up because I didn't matter
And they wouldn't fall down no matter how tattered
I was quick and replaced every person that left
Because I couldn't get back that initial theft
I lived out of my car with another boyfriend I 'needed'
I wouldn't go home no matter how bad I'd been treated
Eventually I felt all the pages had been turned
My self was gone again, my heart had been burned
My life felt disappointing I wanted to give up
Then you came out of no where and redefined love
So like always I pushed all the feelings deep down
For the fear I'd come home and you wouldn't be found
You were always there and you never gave up
You made me feel worthy of somebodies love
So with this I thank you for just being here
And helping me love what I see in the mirror
And you mended that porcelain crack
You filled it with gold and gave me love back
And it's more beautiful than ever
Shiny new and improved like our love is - forever.
Sara played basketball in squad ParalympicsGB,
At Euros, at Worlds and at Commonwealth Games,
In Manchester and in Melbourne, and had TT victory,
At the Paralympics in London with her team-mate.
Her boyfriend introduced her to table tennis nifty,
And she’s a paralytic, from a virus at the age of 15,
“Meeting people in the same situation as [myself]
was a real eye-opener…it opened up my life again.“
In 2013 Sara and Jane Campbell took the gold,
In the team event class 1-3 in Bayreuth, Germany,
And then she won bronze for herself in the singles,
To ride right onto 2 bronzes in Slovenia, Slovakia.
Illness and surgery were then her disappointing lot,
But she returned in the Lignano Master Open 2016,
To win a fine silver for the team. In Rio, the quarters,
For both singles and team matches. Born 12/04/1990.
May it not be uttered and may my lips be sealed. I don't like how it makes me feel. It gives no thrill. It has no appeal. So often, it does not heal and seldom closes the deal. Early this morning, I took the time to record a few lines of muse about a word I don't like to use.
I have often thought about the people I have met and the places I have roamed and made my home over the last 50 years. Many are the things, people, and places that have proven to be most disappointing and have wearied, worn me out, and caused me doubts. There've Been dejections, rejections, and questions, but as I look back, I see no regrets.
I have used a 7-letter word so often that it has become a dreadful thing to consider its usefulness. I should think that heaven is the only place such a word is forever forbidden. Presently, that word is NOT WHAT I'M SAYING to you, you, or anyone else and hope to never find it necessary. But if by chance or providence it should be used relative to anyon9 Ie, it would be among the hardest words I ever uttered to living mortals. I've been as far east as the Big Apple but not to stay; and forty years ago, I came with my wife and kids to live in the City by the Bay. I hasten to say that I've never lived longer nor loved stronger than here in the River City where I only want to say the the 2 lettered word 'Hi' but never the 7 lettered
woord, "Goodbye". I can say "Hi" with a smile, but "Goodbye" only makes me cry.
People say that home is where your story begins, but I've never been one to be bound by what others might say. I only know that the place where I was born was never home to me. I tell you, I did not have to look long and far nor think Hard and deep to figure out whom I might blame for the calm, peace, and poise that I am feeling where I live today. Yes, there is something very special about the people and this place where I'm living today that feels like home to me, and I suspect that The Lord has everything to do with it.
042620PS
Cunning like foxes,greedy as hyenas,they looked at me;
With widened eyes and wet lips,ready to grab me,like an angry lioness;
And tear me like a beast and swallow me like the shark that swallowed Jonah.
I had become a bad child; as bad as war,
And they could no longer tolerate my naughtiness.
They remained silent without saying anything like a word
But beneath their silence piled a heap of anger and rage
And they breathed with fury, wishing to only take hold of me,
And teach me a lesson,that I would live to remember.
My mother was against me,just like her dear husband
They said I was an ungrateful daughter,
Because I refused to eat from the same plate with him-
The man they had prepared to marry me off because of his money.
He was a Methuselah of the previous century;
And he had been classmates with my father.
My people wanted to sell me off,they were exchanging me;
Their blood; for coins of shillings that last not longer than lust.
They were determined to see me off like an unwanted visitor.
But, I stood my ground like any other person who desires to live.
I crossed lines to tell them they were doing wrong for the first time,
And they said I was disappointing and selfish.
They scolded me,yelling at me and calling me an evil child.
They were living their life,I wanted to live mine,
To be a better woman who could move many and change many.
I wanted to go to school for I was just fifteen and had seen little of the world;
If it was waters of the ocean,I had only tasted the surfaces;
If it was heaven,I had just started to climb Jacob's ladder.
I know not better than crying and licking my tears,
And that is exactly what I did, weeping like death was here to take me.
I called upon the ancestors of my clan to rescue me,
I looked up to the skies,tracing to find my redeemer.
I cried to my sister and brothers, I begged my people for help,
And I was willing to involve the authorities, for my education was my life.
The vows came with agony, the ring would come with suffering;
And I was not ready for any of this, I would fight till the end;
For this was my right as a modern girl child!
A Parable of Love’s Spell
We danced and kissed passionately whilst feeling that frenzied,
flushed-rush of two people together now as one under love’s spell.
Love’s that mystical, magical emotion captivating every aspect
of our senses as we succumb to its aura of delicious enchantment!
Love’s power is a divine omnipotence which touches us tender
now as we walk this night watching the Moon smile back at us.
Love’s that moment when two people’s eyes search and discover
each other and their hearts know it’s much more than mere chance.
Try fate, try destiny, but knoweth that this special emotion is oft
beyond the pale of any ready explanation of the mere commonplace.
Love can be palpable, spiritual, promising, hopeful, bashful, and
even disappointing—but full of surprise and true wonderment too!
We savoreth our embrace as two lovers mesmerized in this moment,
whilst we fall deeply under love’s spell as the Moon smiles back at us!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved – March 28, 2017
(Couplet)
Bed Time
I should have gone to bed by now, if I'm late
But when the head touches the pillow in the dark bedroom
I think of death
Not fear, but the feeling of helplessness, not an iota
What I have done in my life has made the slightest
Difference, I have not given the world a thing of value.
I remember Liv Ullmann, we were both seventeen
I danced with her, but I could feel I was in the presence of talent
And she became successful; she is someone.
She tells the newspaper in an interview that she hopes to die
In Norway, a rather disappointing utterance when you are
dead, it doesn’t matter where.
She will make the headlines have her obituary written and
There will be sorrow, but in the end, we will both be equally dead.