Last Will and Testament

Last Will and Testament

I think ?, I have known all along
that one day, you would be gone,
as the days – for me – where few,
not much left – for me – from you.

Everything I have said - you have read.
there is not a word - you have not heard,
and so my dear, what is there left for me to say
to squelch the fear, in some compassionate way ?

Brighten up – for you and me – this sad, sad day.
The days we have known, now come to an end.
count upon you ?, will not know, can not call friend.
As you depart, step from my Probe, silver gray,

on your way into the light of a brand new day.
My soul sits silent – not a word – nothing more to say
for it all was – had been said – about the way
in which you left me, many times before, and that day.

Silence, it appears, is to be my fate,
darkened corridors, nothing you state
to enlighten – closure, none – no clean slate
as you move on, behind you, lock the gate.

   I leave to L. B. - silence – I bequeath, to her, freedom.
Freedom from me, my presence, my thoughts, my feelings.
Freedom from my words, my prose and poetry of enlightenment,
enlightenments twisted by the prisons, the prisms of her mind
that have prevented her from enjoying, - with a clear conscious. 
This I understand, for I know the life she has chosen in the light of 
her nurturing, her nature and how they have come together
to create the heart and soul of this troubled young lady.
   I bequeath to Linda, my acceptance, ( disappointing and heartbreaking
as this may be ), and my forgiveness ( for all ) for her termination 
( in silent avoidance ) of our ?, friendship.
   I leave to L. B. my heartfelt, best wishes for her new freedom ?, to enjoy 
the relationship she has been cultivating for some time and for the 
adventures that may come her way, as I, in specks, in slivers, in flakes,
flakes of fading light that vanish from sight as the wind changes
and I become not but a distant, fading memory, lost, 
behind the steel doors of those dark corridors in her memories hoard .

Signed this 29th day, in the of our lord, 2004
Wm. J. Atfield Jr.
B. J. “A” 2
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

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Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 12:04 AM
This written poem made me shed a tear... As I read from stanza to stanza, there is that increasing intensity of sadness... :( If this true, I hope it will you will get over it soon.. I myself had been in so many heartaches that sometimes I don't even like to love again.. :( God bless you always.. :)! Happy Christmas. :)!
Petersen Potter Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 9:04 PM
Excellent poem William! I do mean it dear friend my heartfelt apologies for previous, didn't mean to hurt you dear friend.Loss, heartbrokeness, believe me I've been there a few times, so I know the horrible and empty feeling of love loss, Wiliam.A 7 for you! Have a very nice day! :) Love and hugs! xxx D.
Atfield Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 2:02 PM
Maybe you can enlighten me ? “ Loss, heartbrokeness, believe me I've been there a few times, ” of which I sorry to read although there are very few human beings that have not been there a time or two. I have had more than my share !!! “ I know the horrible and empty feeling of love loss,” as do I, my Dear, but have to say that this rhyme was not about the loss of love per say but the loss of friendship with extras, the deceptions etc., etc. again I am at a loss as to what this “ Wiliam.A 7 for you! ” means ? You too “ Have a very nice day! :) Best wishes, big hugs and kisses !!! Love Bill . ( B. J. “A” 2 )
Atfield Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 2:02 PM
Hello again Dorian : I did not get “ Excellent poem William ”, until this morning my Dear, and I do appreciate “ I do mean it dear friend ”, Thank you !!! I am at a loss thought about “ my heartfelt apologies for previous, didn't mean to hurt you dear friend ”. I cannot possible perceive where that is coming from or what it is all about ???
Atfield Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 9:46 PM
Hello Dorian Petersen Potter : Great to see you in words again . “ Interested pen ” It is strange that you would say that, for it was written by hand, with pen. Anyway my Dear, thank you for looking in on me and taking the time to comment. “ Interested pen ”, maybe but it sure showed the insanity that comes out of a negative relationship and the effect it has on ones psyche, on ones days . I see that love has been a main theme lately. I do hope that it comes to you in more than just words . Many hugs and Kisses to you my Dear, and may you be showered with them throughout this Christmas season . B. J. “A” 2 ( Bill . )
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