Long Depressionlove Poems
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worried, wearied and out of breath
i must admit i have no words left
for i have had every kind of love
some too painful to account as a poet does
for even i told the story
the story of love
a story of love
and the story of love...
and they were all true
they all ended tragically
just as they did for you
we have this use
to measure them with words
the beauty, the longing, the sacrifices
that occurred
we measured how deep
and most sadly how long
how long was short and then move on
we who survive our misfortunes
some what, a little scared
wear it on sad faces
and feelings we have barred
we know that love has left us
a little bit crazy
even at it's worst
things were hazy
was it worth, picking up a gun
a danger to yourself and everyone
was it worth it, not sharing the son
evil misdoings and threats to run
we gave love an inch
and love took it's mile
all our great expectations
were dreamt with smiles
but in the end
the truth revealed itself
love was just an illusion or love expires
burned up after so many fires
we gave our heart
we gave our mind's
and we gave our souls
in exchange for worries, jealousy,
disappointments and threats
and in the same ending
what we thought was love just left
not only abandonment but theft
that's our emotion of being bereft
what is love that we
are mindful of it
by which we are powerless
not to covet
an addiction for women and men
not nessesarily the cause of sin
but for some reason it seems a nessessity
we unconciously act apon
even the worried, the wearied and bereft
i gave up
i lost my mind
i'm numb inside
my silver phone
with a piggy sticker on it
the back pops off
but the phone doesn't go off
then my silver love falls out
not my first silver love
for the one who stole my heart took that one
i go another
but shh
she dont know
i place it all down
a drowned rag in alcohol
rub my wrist clean
go back to my silver love
pick it up careful
she may bit my fingers
i drag her once
for she is new
she may not know what to do
i drag her twice
she still doesnt bite
the third time's the charm
with a little more pressure
like milking a snake
the red pours out
like a broken lake
i twist my wrist
flex it twice it starts to sting
everytings all right
i make her bite a few more times
just a little nothing to big
but wait the first wont stop
the rag+pressuer stops it from flowing
but i move my hand
OH CRAP
it keeps going
more pressure long time
ok better now
my mind relaxes i feel find
i put my silver love back to rest
in the back of my silver phone
with the piggy on it
the phone still doesnt go off
then go to sleep
to rest my mind
Form:
My depression grows everyday,
It started as a come and go,
It decided to stay and create a black cloud,
All I can do,
Is sit and hope,
Wish and dream,
Cry and smile,
I fake these looks for my family,
They feel responsible,
Like they caused my pain,
Truth is,
No one caused it,
It just came,
because a boy,
I loved,
Died,
All alone,
All my fault,
Not being there,
I was so stupid,
So young,
I yelled at him,
Told him i hated him,
Told him to leave me and never come back,
His friends came and got him,
They drove him home,
He decided to come back to see me,
My fault,
My fight caused,
His death,
He tried to get to me,
A car smashed his,
Head trama,
Lungs smashed,
Face scared,
Last words said,
I hate you,
I rushed to his side,
Last thing i hear,
I love you,
Never forget me,
He passed away,
In my arms,
Me in tears,
Unable to tell him,
I love you too,
Never could I forget you,
Your my heart,
My soul,
You'll always be with me
Tearing up the letters,
Smearing ink all over the dim white pages.
Splattering paint on the once so beautiful walls,
Ripping all the memories out.
Tears falling down, and stinging like fire.
Breathing hates the way I live.
Living hates the way I breathe, and
I hate the way I feel.
Death is afraid to send me home tonight.
I'm the only connection to fear that the world has ever known.
Loveless, lifeless, faceless, nameless.
Won't you come back?
Broken tears love the ways I've lied,
And gotten myself nowhere.
Curling up into a ball and never looking up again,
I love the blackness in your heart.
Won't you come back?
Cowering in a corner, lost.
Hopeless--to everything--but making it through the day.
Secluded emotions that will never live again.
Life is nothing without you.
Love is nonexistent.
Hate is consuming.
I am nothing.
I am alone.
Form:
Someone please save me
from this God awful place,
where ever I go it's
just a rat race.
People don't care how I
feel or what I say,but
if they aren't careful
they'll be sorry someday.
There are so many people
I love that are dying,
there's times that I feel
like I just can't stop crying.
My mind is a mess,and
my thoughts are unclear,
the day of my suicide
I feel is near.
I am always letting people
take advantage of me,I
wish they would open their
eyes,and see what I see.
I want for my life to just
be done,I am tired of
wondering which way
I should run.
There are many people
who love me no doubt,
but if they lived what I lived,
they to would want out.
I've tried to figure out why
people do what they do,
but I know someday soon
it will all be through.
FOOLS IN LOVE
To feel the talk of fools from such as you,
the slicing of the heart, your cutting knife
has brought me to this end we're going through,
forever now to die, all of my life.
***
I set you loose but you've refused to go
from out of where I've put you in my mind,
and though you've told me why, I'll never know,
except you still enjoy what grief you find.
***
Though all the talk I've heard still takes my breath,
I can't believe I love you more than this,
to rise above your words that brought my death,
and still say, "I love you, in spite of this."
***
You ask what manner of a fool this fool might be
to love you as I do? The song of me.
I thought this love we shared with
each other was perpetual, but my heart
proved to me it was all prevarication.
You left me to rot in my depression,
abdicate and cold. My heart; perforated
and mourning for someone to apprehend my
fall through the abyss of darkness.
My knee's, they weaken at the thought
of those three words you spoke to me.
" I'm leaving you."
Susceptable and hurt, I try to impersonate
all the good things happy people do but I seem
to be know where parallel to them.
I finally learned to traverse everything
that had occured between the two of us.
Now, I'm trying harder then ever because
I know I deserved the love that you weren't
willing to give back and I know that I deserved
much better then you.
There's no more tears here. I have shead my last
drop.
I woke up to see the faces of life.
The man that had chose me, for his wife.
The children we love together.
The grandchildren I will love forever.
My cell phone begins to ring.
My mother begins to sing.
Soon pain is left behind.
The voices are quiet, in my mind.
I will never be like most of you.
Silence for me is a heavenly breakthrough.
Life for me is a struggle sometimes.
But I know tomorrow leaves today behind.
Past is past so when it lurks in.
I remind myself a new day will soon begin.
Memories are okay.
If they remind us of a better day.
Depression hurts even my family.
Praying of a life better for them not me.
Life is not always what you make of it.
Sometimes its harder, by a little bit.
You may pass by and think little of me.
Yet its your sanity that I envy.
Form:
When we first met I thought as you as a boy that were just like the others...
But as I got to know you..You were the one that just another...I gave you all the love
that I had and even me...
Just to think about this right now is hard to breathe..
memories of you always bring tears to my eyes when I remember those days when you told me
lies...
I always pictured us being together forever until the end..I remember when I looked in
your eyes and I asked you "do you love me?"...and you said "yes" but now I see the word
"yes" turned into the word distress...
I knew that you loved me and I loved you but the point is why did you have to do what you
do..?
Memories of you I wish that I could bring all that back and make this love thing turn into
a fact..?
The spur I was separated,
From my beloved
I was all alone
Useless it is to be born.
Where shall I go?
My life to whom I owe?
My thoughts crystallized
My imaginations paralysed.
My emotions struck
I was transfixed
I was like a fish out of water,
Like a soap without lather.
I thought only of you
You were the diamond among the few.
You were my contemplation
My concentration and meditation.
The love you gave me
From the superstitions you freed me
I am in agony
In anguish
In melancholy,
Complete disharmony,
In dissatisfaction
And frustration.
Beloveds are like oranges
shall i tell you why?
To find one sweet one
You shall a thousand try.
Oh my beloved
I still love you.
How can I forget you?
Ever cheering, ever adoring, ever new.