Long Depressants Poems

Some say it began with the Jehovah's Witnesses
ingesting sacred substances with the Rastafarians.
Others say that could not possibly be true or false.

What emerged one sultry August Town Council evening
when half the town had found some...

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There were days when I looked back
And could only see… pain, desperation, darkness
Following me from the ancient feelings
The past where I was no longer present
A place of pain, abuse, so destructive

There were those days when...

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she is everything you have seen in the movies
crayola hair
velvet dress
sugar in her veins
tears glued to her face
she fingerpaints the kitchen walls like a little girl and tapes their polaroids to every surface

he is every...

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In my kitchen alone on the floor i cry
anti depressants not working
people pulling for my happiness
and yet i am sad because i lack the personality i desire to try
i feel like a victom
in a world...

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When I was thirteen years young, I filleted my upper right thigh.
47 times.
In one night.
In one hour.
I wrote suicide notes,
Every night. 
I folded them up and put them in a drawer where the hid.
Similar to...

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I look at those four poems and i'm reminded of harder times,
struggling to break free, to regain my mind.

Each poem was at a different time, throughout my withdrawals,
I wanted to open peoples eyes, to show...

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People ask me why I hang 
out with Burroughs and Bukowski 
they have this picture of me
this image, they assume 
knowledge and scholarship 
on the subject of ME
Yet those who understand 
art, or think they...

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by Mark Miller © 06/15/2014

Signs stained white written by twilight's blacken Knight,
Raining silent sights depressants drown the conscience might-
Feeling venereal waves sullen air on standing skin shivers 
Ridding stallions frailty of fear scorn folly appears,
Warning...

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Every day I'm battling depression just trying to get my number straight
World on my shoulders so how could I be under weight?
Stopped taking anti depressants, cause they made me feel worse
Gave them a fair shot...

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Excuse me but I have to ask,
I may not always love you,
Just a coffee please, thanks very much,
It’s not always good news you know,
What’s that band I like?

     I’m sitting here...

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My round white anti-depressants
were trying their faithful best
to listen to my ecofeminist 
wise old woman
gardening neighbor,
pulling aggressive weeds

Sharing with me
her morning meditation reflection
immediately after entering dawning eyes
and before exiting her dreamy
comforting 
fertile bed

Her opening 
and...

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I am attempting to be sure to exercise patience...
In my former hell I was writing, reading, smoking, pleading, meditating, and waiting

I manifested the move- I worked for it. 
Then boom! I get here, I'm working...

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Growing up with my grandparents wasn’t so great,
Having to hold onto so much weight.
While my mother was “at school”,
And my father acting like a fool,
I only hoped someone could open the gates.

At some point my...

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It's time for Christmas trees
 and bright lights.
   No Christmas color here,
 my world black N white.

    Sunny Southern Cali,
 No chance of snow,
    No Santa this...

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You tell me I gotta bite the bullet.
Then you turn around and chant “Pull it! Pull it!”
Because you’re not the one diseased.
Teased.
Seized.
So you don’t really care if the trigger gets squeezed.
You sit in your chair...

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Dancing in Boulogne-Sur-Mer


I was dancing in Boulogne-Sur-Mer 
when a young woman stopped me, 
and said, “Madame, you are superbe.”
She told me twice, Madame you are superbe


But I didn’t feel superb.
Hadn’t for a long time, if...

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Prozac Nation, dated September 8th, 2001
became the film that reminded some that
these days that we live in, with cell phones
that make us capable of connecting in a flash
mean we've broken our pencils and torn up
our...

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Some people will always call you this
and that, and refer to you in metaphors
which can break the vocabulary
wardrobe.
They will say how you'll never be loved
or get love, rise up, succeed, dream,
find happiness, be normal....
These words...

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                             My devilish mausoleum painted
  ...

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Recalling memories was difficult.
I presume, today was not my day.
Theme uprooted, I stood for the branches,
the spirit, the truth, the roots.
Do I see more than what was needed?

Only eyes to eyes speak without words, sound,
vision...

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I want to cry. I long to smile. 
Some feeling to wash over me for a while. 
Scrolling, relentlessly with my thumb. 
Every other part of my body and mind, numb. 

'Life is for living',...

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12 weeks on, 
I didn't fail,
held fast to my decision,
my judgement never swayed.

what a ride it was,
a slave no more,
no more anti depressants,
paroxetine be gone.

now it's time to mend
all the havoc i have caused,
while going...

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Educational systematic analysis idiocy,
cogs to craft humans into mice chasing cheese.
Stand sit raise hand or don’t speak,
and we decide your level of stupidity.

Shake your head as I curl thy lips,
you were crafted in the same...

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I'm Level Headed
Electric
Magnetic
Eclectic
Expressions
Magnetic Connection 
That Make Head Spins
Like A Exorcist
Using Fire As My Element
As It's Best Essence 
Magnificent Aggression 
Persistent To Contesting
Any Detesting What's Destined
Ambigous Reflection
Of My Extensive Complexion
Optimistic Stresses
Positive Settings
Inside My Mental Cortex Processing
Directing...

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on wednesdays when you emerged from sadness
after taking anti-depressants
from all pharmacies in the neighborhood
something upset you?
I think they are the ghosts of your traumas
that won't let you sleep.
well your wrong things didn't bother me
or the...

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