Chasing Feelings

I want to cry. I long to smile. Some feeling to wash over me for a while. Scrolling, relentlessly with my thumb. Every other part of my body and mind, numb. 'Life is for living', that's what they said. On the days I was thankful just to exit my bed. Chasing some feelings locked in a screen. Staring mundanely at an imaginary dream. Opportunities abundant. Adventures galore. Making my bed is a tortuous chore. Insufferable details. Daily life lessons. I'll get to those after my anti-depressants. Getting through the day with a 'comfortably fine'. No highs. No lows. Simply passing the time. I want to cry. I want to feel joy. That ship has left port. Raise the anchor. Ahoy.