Long Dang Poems

Where art thou anonymous benefactor...to offer me succor?

Ah... methinks legal tender 
could be a boon to help me bolster 
mein kampf with necessary material equipage,
which prospect to acquire essential 
commodities sabotaged 
at the altar of...

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Neigh say being  corralled & cult shod 

"Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis"
translation = thus always I 
bring death to tyrants.”

Above the fray of twittering, 
squabbling, and madding crowds,
an arrogantly belligerent creature deified, 
yet vilified...

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If I can walk ten thousand miles
Just to see your sunlit smiles,
I’d die ten thousand more times
Maybe, a billion times per chime; this time, I’ve committed love crimes

If I can walk infinity times infinity,
Would I...

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Font Din Black

so u real??? 
Warning! The following choppy, batty, 
dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, 
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, 
sketchy material prone to find the reader 
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Could this bee the end of Bee Bee?


Humble came flying through the trees,
After the evil Blues-Bee,
And Humble could see Bee Bee up ahead,
Beeing chased by their enemy.


Humble was trying to dodge the Blues-Bees fleas,
As they...

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Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick...

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I saw a cat quartet within my dodgy dream,
Sorta started worryin' that I'd gone off the beam,
Really began to wonder if my mind was gettin' weak,
They had their own language that only they could speak.

While...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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I did not learn to drive until my twenties.
My two poor kids I hauled inside a wagon!
That wagon creaked when filled with groceries!
Fed up, I said, “My kids I won’t be draggin’!” 

I got my...

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Blanked out
Blanket bliss...
I pout and doubt
And all dat 'n diss
I'm not spic and span
I'm not fine and dandy
Rollercoaster my blues
I have some news...
scrambled with clues 
Wearing diffarant (being arrogant and different) shoes 

All I said
All...

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Dragon Meets Wolf Creek Pass
(Inspired by CW McCalls’ song ‘Wolf Creek Pass’)

On a trip to see Dragons’ friend Drag, way out… in Texas…
Crossing the plains, in a caravan filled with, all our little blessings. 
Missouri...

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Purposely, intentionally
enter out my reluctance and enter in a nose dive back into the past
a Samurai Jack experience
It has to be here somewhere
these long forgotten memoirs pieced together yet never mentioned
never verbally spoken nor handwritten
They...

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Day 1
I am a wheelchair warrior
It is August-Hel's rune ,Ear is here
What needs to die in the next 5 days?
That which hinders  growth anyways
US sends USS Georgia to Hell's Armpit
Bad move by America, I...

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I walk into the AYA studio, apprehensive as I have never taken a dance class.
"Come on it!" Suzette, our dance master says. On the wall behind her there is a giant Moose wearing a pink...

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"Baby, this view is fantastic, 
Who knew what you could buy with plastic! 
With these credit cards, unlimited funds, 
Any regrets, heck no, baby I got none. 
Riding on an interest rate of twenty percent,...

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I’m a stodgy old lady with suddenly too much time on her hands.
I was always too work worn to make big Halloween plans...

But as I walked thru Walgreen’s to get my latest meds…
I came up...

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2/28/21

Dang it
Still doing the same s***
On a planet that is overpopulated
Always getting faded
And intoxicated
Often facing Goliath, call me David
I won and was elated
I also loss and got frustrated
My ego rose or it deflated
The one continually...

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ARGH! NO MORE MEDICARE!

A worst nightmare loomed large
notification courtesy Montgomery County
Assistance Office caseworker
implied medical coverage axed
I felt hammered, nailed, shingled out...
livid with rage
frenzied, harried, jarred...
railing away
fit tubby tied to train tracks
ready to kill myself,
but dang,...

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yes, this daft punk pink animal from farm ville will newt axe
any thank u mooch positive word does not rick choir whet backs
now i hold out virtual fig leaf tub buffer 
   end...

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I.
Zack stared out on the Indian Ocean
through which the adventure cruise made its way,
they were near the famed Andaman Islands,
and would probably reach them the next day.

He’d paid extra cash to come out this way,
to...

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He's packin' magic Viagra
Muse infused grooves set the mood
grab ya' and stab ya' 
we're opposites 
still we speak the same language 
teach and preach truth
every time I stop to see what he's droppin' 
my dang...

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(alternately titled no particular reason:
bring unto “fake” trumpeting Caesar
seven salad dressings from deep freezer
and lettuce deign at your plea azure.)

Graced with boyish good looks,
innocence and naiveté to boot,
an especial loathing toward me
chicken legs re: spindleshanks

(which...

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Out of the mist… In a cloud of smoke… Dragon is at it again!
Yep, He’s out to protect Innocence, Truth, and the American Way!
He grabbed his Superman cape, AGAIN! I thought I’d got rid of...

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loved Loving you...

You loved liking me a lot

I put everything on the table not knowing if it was stable

And after debating

I was able to trust that my dating and waiting for a good man would...

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