Long Cascade down Poems
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So here it is
the passing of a day
this dull Spring day
and the silence pollutes my thoughts
while the depression dips poison into my oxygen
It's cold outside
fitting weather for how I feel inside
for I am lost
I don't know what happened
but well what did I expect
to be held in high regard
constantly being waited on hand and foot
But well what did I expect
myself to turn magician
and allow myself to reappear in her presence
so the love I spoke, promised would be real
No...I don't know what I expected
but I never thought in a matter of weeks
I'd print off my retraction
and realize the words I said
were only exaggeration
for I have no actions to back up what befell my lips
while yet a voice from her remains unheard
And it all has me wondering
what have I gotten myself into
It just all crossed my mind at one time
a jumble of broken sentences
like I'm learning how to talk all over again
My feelings they were true
and hers, they were too
but time gave way to a wound unnoticed
but time gave way to a wound that bled too deep
leaving a portal open to the past
and now I'm that boy of old
not a man anymore
Just a loser
just one more loser breathing poison oxygen
or so it seems only in my tainted head
Well what did I expect
happy ever after isn't listed in my job description
I'm just a fickle, feeble minded
insignificant little ant
better yet, a rotting piece of tree bark
deteriorating with time
Her delightful, delicate, portrait features
makes me so sad inside
a deep shadow of blue decorating the depths of the ocean
Ocean, a song sung by Cold
reminding me I will never get her back
Was she ever mine to begin with
Never...
no matter how much I want her to be
or do I
I don't know
I was so sure before
but I'm so full of doubt and weary
that her spell has subsided
and I cascade down a single thread
of my lowly spider web
but I'm not weaving lies
I'm weaving a message
that says I love you
but I don't expect to be answered
I don't expect comments
I don't expect for these words to make any sense
I just feel so low
It all just hit me at once
but this is just one thing I'll never tell her
I don't want her to think I'm pathetic
I don't want her to think of me differently
I...I don't know
I'm just...
Well did I expect...
Can you see the radiance in her smile? That beautiful row of white goodness that makes me forget there are other people existing in the world. Can you see the sensuousness of her skin? That caramel chocolate sensation I love to drown my thoughts in... I know you can see the way her hips sway with such perfect synchronicity, the image alone conjures thoughts loving in perpetuity. Can you see her hazel eyes? Twin pools of perfection to cool this body on a hot summer day. I am but a watcher; if I were a collector of beautiful things I would spare no exertion to have her be mine.
Can you smell the scent of her femininity? An aroma so intoxicating that I will never want another high. Can you hear the sound of her voice? That calming husky baritone that brings waves of peace to my conscious mind. I know you can see that lovely mane of hair, that black hair with the specks of gold and red to entrance every eye. I am but an admirer; if I were a man of means I might have the courage to speak to her.
My eyes avoid catching hers in a moment stolen, so afraid am I that she will see the hunger brimming therein. I look at her and see everything that I am not but everything that I need. I see laughter and that carefree nonchalance of youth and brevity that I so crave but that elude me. I envy the water that gets to cascade down her body when she bathes. I envy the wind that gets to caress her long luscious legs as she dons that skirt that invokes feelings in me that are not easily suppressed. . I envy the sun that gets to warm her body when she is chilled. I envy the moon that watches over my sleeping beauty as she dreams of people she does know. I envy the man who gets her sighs and knows her dreams. I envy him not only because he is all she wants but because he is all that I can never be for her.
While my heart is the one that loves her with the fervour of a thousand fires and the intensity of a million lifetimes; he kisses her, touches her and holds her and she loves him to a place beyond distraction; he is all that she thinks she needs, he is her man. I am left to watch and admire from a distance. How can I compete? After all, he is the man of her childhood fantasies; all that I am is a girl who fell in love with the wrong goddess.
Betrayed
You stand still like monuments
As umoved and unshakable as a grave
You utter words of unfathomable promise
Your stare bores into me
Drilling into my soul, piercing my heart
But your lips curve into a snide smile
That mocks and jeers me.
Fear envelopes me
My heart, I felt it twist
My knees wobbled
Causing me to collapse
To shatter like a thousand broken pieces
But your hands cradled me in a strong embrace
"I will never let you fall".
Your whispers awaken in me
A speck of emotions long lost
Laughter grazed my lips,
A twinkle, a little spark lit in me
Rupturing a tumult of feelings
My heart missed a beat
Your genuine smokey eyes
Compelled me to trust
Your soft lips and tender caresses
Encouraged me to surrender
To lose myself in your gaze
In the hollowness of your eyes,
In the echoes of your voice
As you laughed,
As you whispered, 'how I love you!'
But it was all a lie
Placated truths of entrapment
Laid out from a wretched web
Weaved over years of friendship
It was but a blunt sword
that would cut through my heart
When my back turned.
And for what?
A few dollars and a cent!
I wish you knew of my sacrifice
How you constantly remained in my embrace
How I cast all aside to hold you close,
To keep you happy, content
But you broke my trust
Just like yesterday's leftovers
You cast into the dumb the love I freely offered.
And for what?
A few dollars and a penny!
As my heart breaks
And tears cascade down my cheeks to form banks on my chin
As my mind numbs in denial of the fallacy we've become
I will surrender to my pains and pangs
My anguish and aches
I will absorb the hurt,
The disappointments and throes of your betrayal
But remember;
The days when my love was enough
The moments when you were thrown out
but I held you in my grip
The times when I bore witness of a great person you are
When no one else would
Remember my dear
Of the many times you stumbled
But I caught your fall
And when finally you do, know
With each tear I shed
With each heartbroken sob
I wish you a karma tenfold.
Moliehi Koeshe
© 2018
“A Reckoning of Illumination”
Autumn winds fall delicately upon my weary soul
Light from a heavenly place surrounds my interpretation of the scripture
Elemental hues of grace cascade down from the enlightened sky
A mystical proposition of truth sets the somber filaments of inquisition ablaze
As the Herculean sun lays bereft in the unforgiving atmosphere of the eloquent horizon
There we walk with reverence of all knowledge and wisdom toward the inherent peace of the celebrating land
Ensconced within an intimate haze of glory and intrigue
The chorus of an angelic choir vibrates through clouds
Reflective insight about the complexities of the entirety of man
Resounds in all it’s simplistic convolution, governed by the infallible laws of the natural world
A prayer from an innocent heart rings out through the land
The whisper of a Holy current moves, leaving glacial imprints upon the water
The gentle caress of emotional morning sunlight touches the surface of my skin
And I am bound by the integrity of this earth to continue to breathe
As the emblems and symbols of revolution evolve with the marking of a new dawn
Respite from the suffering of solitude descends upon the crescent moon
While the epitome of liberty and elation exalts across the sentimental elements of fire
Come toward me, together we shall depart unto this torrid pathway of uncertainty and lament
And brace ourselves for the beauty and bountiful exclamations of indisputable divine inspiration
As we lay there upon the ancient ground, listening to time itself combine with entropy
To create a never before seen moment of purity that transcends youth and hope and lies
So that we may return to our deliverance,
Where the weary souls must rest and wait for the essence of existence to reveal itself
Through the intrinsic absence of thought pouring through the atmosphere of our minds
Copyright Elizabeth Moroz 2024
On the western horizon where the sun goes to bed,
there stands the Canadian Rockies,
so majestic in size,
solid and immovable,
yet fluid and ever-changing.
I am awed by their beauty,
the way the sun reflects off the snow,
making them seem closer than they really are,
a three-dimensional monolith sitting in my own backyard,
sometimes shrouded in clouds,
or resting under the halo of the sun,
while their crevasses hide in the shadows.
At times a mist covers their peaks,
and they are subdued,
as if a veil has been pulled across the landscape,
making them seem distant and one-dimensional,
a flat backdrop at the edge of a rolling prairie.
And as the sun sets beyond this mighty fortress of rock,
painting a canvass of red, pink and orange,
the mountains sit in silhouette,
dark and foreboding,
as if hiding a secret deep within their walls.
Spring now gently invades this frozen rock,
and as the snow melts,
the hillsides turn green,
and palettes of colour dot the meadows.
The mountains are alive with movement,
new birth,
struggles for survival,
and death.
The cycle of life is being played out in their bosom,
yet from a distance,
as I survey their silent grandeur,
they appear to be indifferent to the drama taking place within.
Spring becomes summer,
penetrating much of this rugged world,
but the highest peak is buried in ice year-round,
a giant glacier,
the birthplace of mighty rivers.
I have stood on that glacier,
drank from its cold, clear waters,
as they cascade down the ice,
water so pure,
as if the world is new,
and being touched for the very first time,
a frozen paradise,
a fragile cradle of microscopic life.
I love these mountains,
for their beauty never tires,
and I am content to live in their shadows.
*For the Love Of Nature contest*
I co-officiated a three generation wedding yesterday…
My son Bryan co-officiated with me….
and since it was my grandsons wedding…
in terms of generations that makes three.
The wedding was at our cabin in the mountains…
still cherished by the Cherokee.
The bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome
The weather was as fine as it could be
I’ve been blessed to live a life…that has had less valleys and more peaks…
and to have made the kind of memories…as the Cherokee say:
speak out of my eyes and cascade down my cheeks.
Under a blue sky dappled with the colors of autumn It was a truly beautiful day…
and I added a host more to an already wonderful array.
I’ll remember getting our cabin ready for the wedding…
Our son Ryan and his wife Amy…helped us to believe…
we could turn our driveway into a wedding chapel
under the trees…with a carpet of fallen leaves.
I’ll remember one dog in a tuxedo…and another in a flowered lei.
I’ll remember Ali, our daughter and Damien’s Mom’s tears on his wedding day.
I’ll remember the faces of Trista and Damien…as they looked into each other’s eyes…
I’ll remember how Bryan helped to make them laugh…while I innocently made them cry.
I’ll remember all the people who came…how Sofia, Damien’s sister rang the wedding bell…
I’ll remember when it was over…thinking how everything went so well.
As I sit back now to write this poem…
I’m trying hard to remember everything…every detail that was important to me.
replaying them over and over again…so they will remain etched in my memory.
So years from now…when I think about this day…
when it’s this day’s memories I seek….
they will speak happily out of my eyes
as they cascade gently down my cheeks.
My son is at war, so far from our home
He left this sweet haven to places unknown
Seeing his face in a photo so near
Knowing he’ll be gone at least for a year
And the great USA plays games with my head
As I move like a puppet on a string made of lead
Oh how I wish that damn phone would just ring
Hearing that laugh would make my heart sing
Hoping to catch the sound of his voice
Knowing again that this was his choice
To go off and fight in this far away land
Was somehow his destiny and part of the plan
My soldier boy
He left in the chill of a brisk winter day
I remember his tears; time whisked him away
And the hug that I gave him was long and it clung
Oh on that day how the bitter wind stung
I felt I was waging my own war of strife
But the picture was gigantic- larger-than-life
My soldier boy
He wrote me last week and I heard his sweet love
And I thanked once again my God from above
He is safe and he is somehow so remarkably tough
But his words told the truth; he’s had quite enough
And I felt a tear cascade down the side of my cheek
As I remembered his time as a child playing hide’n’go seek
My soldier boy
He told me his innocence is gone -that he’s seen way too much
And I just longed to hold him and needed his touch
But instead I wrote that I loved him forever
And that his life would someday be hopefully better
I told him to stay safe and ever so strong
And my soul felt a stab as my words moved along
He is always in my mind and deep in my heart
I thanked him again for doing his part
My soldier boy
He’s still a young boy who’s grown up too fast
With the insight and strength he’s had to amass
He’s my pride; he’s my joy
He’s my soldier boy
When the sun shines in the sky and no clouds can be seen
A walk along the river bank is like a lovely dream
Down from the bridge the narrow stony path winds
Grassy banks on either side in which white butterflies glide
Insects bussing on the wing
Through the nettles without a sting
On down the path it widens out and we see the rivers natural beauty
With swans and ducklings here on show their parents on feeding duty
In and out the reeds they swim the little heads ducking through water dim
But then again out in the sun their tail feathers waving a good job done
This display is truly cute as round the weeds the little ducks scoot
All covered in that fluffy down not quite ready or dressed for town
A swan her nest built at the other side watches her chicks as they glide
They are so very young and small with little short necks which will grow tall
Ugly ducklings they may be now but watching the grownups we just say “wow”
The forms that nature her beauty does show the best designer could never know
The dappling water with diamonds bright shines in the sunshine with delight
Gliding over the stones made smooth through the years
It comes to the waterfall to cascade down like a million tears
Into a pool which is dark and deep then on it flows the river never sleeps
The white flowers of the hawthorn are joined their blooms to share
With beautiful wild pink roses entwined amongst them here and there
The grasses sway as their seed heads grow out to catch your legs
The tickle soft and gentle is asking pick me will you my seeds please spread
Then the smell of honeysuckle brings perfume to the nose
A wonderful display of nature on show as the river gently flows
Bounding through the tall grass
I can feel the afternoon sun
warming the fur on my back
as I head away from it,
deftly leaping
rock and crags,
releasing my sorrow
to the wind.
And as I gain some semblance of myself
I skid to a stop,
the edges of dusk
are reaching towards me,
spreading its arms wide,
I drop on my haunches
and howl,
not just talking to the moon
or leaving a message
floating on its surface
for my beloved,
but using my voice
to engrave
my love,
my lust,
desire,
longing
through my heartache,
using it as a lens
to carve that
ever so lonely rock
with my emotions.
For you
here I sit,
heart leaping in my chest,
breath ragged,
not wanting to leave my lungs,
being so near to the love
oozing from my heart,
and as I exhale
impressions of
your gentleness,
candidness,
your nails
tracing my jaw line
cascade down my eyelids,
all the while
carving my intentions
upon the face
of the tide’s master.
It starts to quiver
as my vocal claws
scour its surface,
all the while,
longing is trying to take the stage,
depress me,
wallow me,
sink me into
my ever familiar hole
and as I reach my crescendo
my Shade Of My Heart’s light
bursts forth
from my chest
allowing me to know
that I have
finally surpassed fantasy,
no more fairytales
need to run through my head,
I just have to let this one
run its course
and my princess
shall rest her head
on my shoulders….
ever.
So for now
I’m looking at you
through the looking glass,
waiting for you to step through.