Long Bragging Poems
Long Bragging Poems. Below are the most popular long Bragging by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Bragging poems by poem length and keyword.
Earned to date,
nee absolute zero
academic bankable bragging rites
explained arduous, horrendous, onerous
agonizing, heartbreaking,
nerve wracking travails
hamstringing, hijacking, hobbling...
maximization of potential
e'er since yours truly
begat when ma dada
fired off his johnny rotten sex pistol
handy dandy blues clues unsheathed
ejaculated gun - lobbed more'n blanks
scoring bullseye pregnant truth
discovered ex post facto
yoked target with egg sealant aim
conceived coe idle upstanding ovation
fusion formed diploid
cell signifying zygote
activating, kickstarting, quickening
embryonic biological reproductive processes
intimating swell happening,
where linkedin rocketed payload
snookered triggered ultimately
yielded inchoate homunculus jackanapes
zapped out birth canal
ready for prime crying time
parturition players chemical romance loosed
yawping, writhing, tethering pipsqueak
full term newborn blasted,
the shocked monkey,
accompanied by archangel Peter Gabriel
trusty unnecessary dangling umbilical cord
obstetrician quickly severed
in utero air supply superfluous
initial gulps of oxygen
commenced fretful incessant laborious
ongoing ripsnorting unrelenting
said vicious trauma,
albeit begat courtesy
glommed deoxyribonucleic acid
mercilessly assailing psyche
metaphorically holding hostage
nee actually essentially cannibalizing
analogous to birthing simultaneous
diabolical identical twin doppelgänger
undermining since getco
proper holistic pursuits
evidenced when matriculating
learning fraught
shot thru with abysmal results
post high school
academic endeavors
evidenced by matriculation
without graduation incorporating
half dozen colleges/universities
earning measly grade point average
simultaneously accumulating
shoddy employment record
now saddled with unbridled
penuriousness - scratching out poetry
every now again
this brother grimm
writing endeavors feeble
becoming financially solvent.
The dandelion was bragging she was fine.
The squirrel came along, and told her she was out of line.
Both of these incidents happened in a yard, mine.
I was trying to ignore them, trying to dine.
Why don’t you go somewhere else to whine?
I begged them as they were simply out of align.
It was Queen Anne’s Lace turn to be the one to shine.
And there she stood, straight as a pencil’s line.
Don’t throw me in the fray, Queen Anne said on a dime.
Just keep eating your fruit and drinking your lemon-lime.
I am fine, out of this discussion, enjoying my own age prime.
Keep me out of your shenanigans, you make trouble all the time.
Animal kingdom was invited to join the forest meadow
Band orchestrated by the deniable dictator, diabolical gorilla king
Causing loads of premature bragging from delighted grand-animals.
Deliriously enthusiastic orangutans began to show off their voice prowess.
Excited flocks, herds, and murders flooded to the pre-set sign up spot.
Furiously signing up offspring, and occasionally a non-mothered village orphan.
Giraffe’s heads appeared beside the treetops, sticking out willy-nilly.
Haphazardly, eagles, owls, and songbirds sat among the leafy, sparkly greening branches.
I was smoothly hidden high in the Sycamore tree with a few cardinals.
Jealous zebras began stomping and spitting, thinking they were not going to get their “due”.
Kind mother opossum tried in vain to do a little conflict mediation, wanting unity and peace.
Lackadaisical sloth took a seat in the branch ten feet above my head, making my branch shake.
Maestro Moran, the appointed organizer, a giant Mammoth gave out assigned places.
Newly arriving animals began choosing partners; not realizing band is solitary.
Old Timer Orangutans began donating band equipment they no longer used, mikes too.
Puma is not invited Brother Bear yelled, stating that Puma always caused trouble in night class
Quintessential beaver suggested we give baby Puma a chance and a few agreed.
Raccoons who disagreed began slapping each other upside the head, like the three stooges.
Sh! A few animal mothers began to hiss. Few of us heard them, as they were not loud enough.
Too many were speaking to hear, and animal chaos seemed to be the order of the day.
Unification nowhere in sight, I stayed put, hoping I was fully hidden. The Zebras were still grumbling.
Very intelligent leaders assess things quickly, and Maestro Mammoth was no dummy.
“Walrus, wolf, toad, and beaver will pick out instruments for students first through 6th,” he announced.
“Xylophones for all of the kindergarten students.” Cheers went all around the forest meadow.
Yippee for the music teacher! Someone yelled. I am not sure if it was a wolf or an orangutan.
“Zebra’s choice!” Maestro announced. Band practice had begun!
Oh, please, please, be still!
You do nothing but Americans ill!
Constantly, bragging your butt off,
How this country, with you in the lead,
The ostentatious, major show-off.
You, being Mr. Crackdown?
Don’t make me howl!
With babies, police and the innocent.
Having bullets is their jowls.
Our streets never have had so many dead.
Running crimson,and you, with an empty head.
It is time for you to please leave!
If you don’t know your wife’s name,
For heaven’s sake, write it on your sleeve!
Mr Putin and the evil Mr.Chi.
Have plans to do all the world in.
Leave now, all the atrocities,we see are a sin.
4-6-2022
I want you to know my dear daughter
I thought of you every day
The thought you say your daughter hates me
The question asked is how can a baby hate
The answer is, a baby learns what it is taught
I never raised you to hate in any way
To disrespect or live such a troubled way
You've hurt me like no other has
In such a way it no longer bothers me
Although I think of you more then you'll know
I no longer care if I see you again
You were my dearest, my one and only
And the day I gave birth to you
Gave me bragging rights in all that you do
I showed I was proud, you didn't understand
Much time has gone by
I hardly think of you any more
The day will come, you will need me again
That day will be, when it's much too late
I won't be the one who will be so hurt
You will find that you waited much to late
My time will have ended on this dear earth
I will be gone, spending my time in Heaven
I will watch over my dear granddaughter
I will guide, guard and protect her
From the evil that you teach her
That my dear daughter is a promise
I will take care of her, from above
I will teach her how to love, honor and respect
Things I did teach you, you weren't paying attention
I want you to know my dearest daughter
I loved you before you were born
And I loved you 'till my dying day
I now love you from above
But now you're on your own without my love
Just remember this my dear daughter
You took the love I had to give my granddaughter
From her life, she'll never know
You cheated her, from a part of life
She will find out, and pay you back
When that happens, remember this
It's the same, you did to me
If Trump wins...rest in peace - Mother of Freedom
Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.
Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain
finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,
viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main
part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign
vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,
no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid
hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.
The Look of a Giant Monster Who Eats Children and Puppies
Gnashing and slashing he crashes into my world
Taking over my soul, or trying to.
His sharp claws are scary to others
I have seen giant monsters before, and I will again.
I have tamed two, I am not bragging. It is merely fact.
His spikes are deeply purple, tinged with red,
He has a look about his eyes that says "Old school".
I can see why most of the neighbors have driven away
Fearful for their children, and their elderly parents
This monster has the look of a giant monster who has eaten
Buckets of children, and washed them down with
A large drink of blended puppies and bunnies.
I look at his bigness, and his close set eyes,
And I wonder. Have I seen any monster similar?
No, but he does bear a close resemblance to the
Ancient Stegosaurus who only ate plants.
I put out two meals. Beef and Pork on one plate.
Plants on the other.
He dives into the plant plate, snorting and flailing.
He cannot get enough of the plants.
I lead him to my husband's soybean field
Where he makes short work of the soybeans.
I will explain to my husband later what happened.
He will not believe me, for I do lie.
But this is the truth as I see it, and if you do not believe
Look at the neighbor's corn field. It is disappearing rapidly.
“Death to Caesar!!!”
“What!! What did you say???”
I said: “Breath to Caesar!!”
“Long and healthy and contented breath.”
“So which of his Legions are you a part of?”
“OH! God, if there is one, they call us the freezing legion.
“See these fingers, well where they used to be, well
they got lopped off. It was so cold out they didn’t even
bleed. Saved my indentured frigging life.”
“Those that died froze so quickly we didn’t even
need litters to carry them off the field of battle.”
“Just picked them up stiff as you please and threw
them in the cart.”
“So What made you join up?” “Trouble with the law?
or In-law?” “Too many tarts?” “Eh, C’mon.”
“Damn, same old story. Dad’s a senator, always bragging
about his son, you know.”
“Agricolas this, Agricolas that.” “Dammit, stop snickering.
He thought it would be an advantage to have an outlandish
moniker.” “So he hung this one on me.” “So one day I just
got fed up, said screw this, and went off to become a legionnaire.”
“Guess I showed him what he could do with his stupid name.
Now I kill farmers, well not just farmers, just about anybody
that gets in the way of the Legion.” “Not a bad job though, as
long as your not the one frozen stiff and tossed in the cart.”
“Well, I bet your dad’s proud now.”
“Nope, hasn’t spoken to me in three years. Says I spend too much
time hanging about with the lower echelons of humanity.” “I told
him we weren’t partying, that I hacked their limbs off, crushed their
skulls, decimated their homes and villages.” “Last thing he said to me
was Nail Caesar!!” “Ya gotta love these loyal subjects.”
for Isaiah Zerbst, The Roman Legion contest
3/6/15
Where an everlasting breeze exists
Across the trees and cliffs
It was just me and a ship
Lost at sea adrift
I didn't really need a wish
Because I believed in gifts
As I continued to feed the fish
While remembering to plead the fifth
I wondered if I was really gone, would I ever be missed
No matter how choppy
The waters got I would not let it stop me
Even though the shores were always rocky
And it would be rather difficult to get out scot free
It was no time to be sloppy
So after several cups of coffee
I no longer felt like a zombie
And left when it was foggy
Even though to some it would've been kamikaze
I made it and took a moment to celebrate at a palm tree
Then when I was home, I copied
The answers to life on a floppy
While others were bragging and boasting about a bugatti
I hit them with the force of a tsunami
Nobody's perfect but I'm pretty close
Don't usually brag about my prowess
But sometimes I just get so overwhelmed
My enthusiasm for me is boundless
You may be annoyed by my constant bragging
But when you're as perfect as me
It's almost impossible to let it go unnoticed
Must share my perfection with thee
It's sure not all fun and games living up to
Such standards I've set for me
Got no one to blame but my own desires
For impressing all you ladies, indeed
Afflicted by charm and stunning good looks
All my life, it's been quite a struggle
Living up to the standards I've set for myself
But I've really tried to stay humble
I am what I am, there's no changing now
I've learned to live with perfection
Not everyone's able to handle such a burden
It's a serious incurable infection
(WHAAAAAT?)