Long Autistic Poems

Some days and nights
I am terrorized by death,
cold silo ache-echoing fear,
claustrophobic breathless dark
barking inevitable factness and finality
of my decomposing mortality,
and posthumous demise,
probably post-humorous as well,
should we discover any essential difference.

What good is death
if it cannot...

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alarm goes off*
I sit straight up startled and scared
Just my alarm, I hit the button
Get up and go to the bathroom
I brush my teeth with my toothbrush
Scratchy, painful bristles
Toothpaste that makes me sick
With the strong...

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Buckminster Fuller and Julian Jaynes 
recently reviewed their cultural and scientific influence 
on health and well-being, 
ecological and economic positive outcomes, 
during the current CoOperativist NonDual Transitional Era.

Bucky:
 I wish I had spent more time...

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So here's my question for this dawning day,
like a WinWin ruminating message in a bottle
floating through a LoseLose climate sea
felt still foggy from last night,
some mysterious how now;

One of many
health related strategic WinLose issues
tuning out...

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The Professor's campaign
although stealthily benign
still co-arose fair hecklers.

How can you reassure me
that our vulnerable children
will not hate me
and you
for stealing from all Earth's tribal presence,
and any possibility of healthy future?

While Yangyinstein stood stunned
with wonder
about all...

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"The nature of the Authentic [Love] Self is always already spiritually [naturally] motivated, turned on, tuned in, ready to respond to the radical [co-arising] immediacy of now [as LovePresent]. It [love] experiences no fear, no...

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Yesterday I heard a happy Republican
crediting President Trump's self-proclaimed successes
to his training and experience with consumer-driven accountability;
meaning,
I presume,
his for-profit experience with market-driven consumerism.

Now I realize this for-profit wealth of experience
outside Washington,
untainted by prior government experience,
appears...

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I am outside without me
I am…using my third eye and I smile, sugar-coating a truth with a plastic, messy lie
I don’t know the day you crashed, but you are going through so much in your...

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Universal information,
form emerging from multisystemic diastasis,
is composed of fractal syntax,
primally illustrated by looking at RNA,
then DNA,
binomially re-cognizing bilateral temporal memory
as formative id-entity.

Polynomials are to in-form-ionization
as polycultural outcomes are to universal
organic-unitarian-integral-cooperative
life-systemic
syntax.

Not-Not Polynomial unitarianism,
double-bound nondual integrity,
is both...

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HealthCare giving
in a cognitive disability space
includes cultural LeftHemisphere trauma,
perhaps chronic autistic distress,
disrupted thrival flow
of wellness serotonin
and safe happiness dopamine
internally felt
sensory

Elder RightHemisphere spiritual
nondualistic
eco/theo-logical
outside/inside
warm womb-felt therapeutic
win/win
EgoChoices/EcoVoices
of health and safety resilience.

When we combine
what we know
about bicameral 
bilaterally contextual...

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S/he began our academic feast
in EcoFeminist HerStory Class
reflecting on the history of violent pissed communication
and nonviolent communion
between Afghanistan's empowered
and disempowering LeftBrain StraightMale privilege

And Islam-Christian creolizing cultures
in the Unitarian States
of BiNational
BiHemispheric
BiPolarizing Red/Brown South
and Green/White North

Orange hot...

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Ogling over an oval clock that is eight o’clock…I can help myself actually…
Being who I really wanted to be in life – I took an obsessive oath of anonymous substantial substance…
Slang words used to shatter...

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What looks sexy
and aesthetically pleasing
on Society's well-endowed Page

May not feel so hot
when StraightWhite Daddy's capital-headed
economic fornication systems
lead toward Great White Father's abortion
of global green forests
and resonantly blue skies 
and sun-warmed water 
resilient EarthCare

Cosmic polarizing predations
against...

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Love matures,
optimally co-arises,
to fill a vacuum left by former fears 
about shortage of time,
sub-optimal outcomes.

High pitch synergy
swells toward Beloved Climax Community
as fears and anger about Here and Now
EarthDay's lack of fullness... 
subside.

As we cooperatively embrace...

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EarthMother Speaking:
Each still-wombed life extends Mother Advents incarnating time
so each Maternal risk and endosymbiotic opportunity,
each ectosymbiotic free will and intent act of Host, ProGenitor, 
rich fertile nutritionally balanced informing action,
fades competitive egocentrism,
as narrow-minded anthro-centrist elitism,
to...

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Originating from a tropical country
My family and I decided to go to Taiwan
We were on an airbus, big and long
Sitting with each other and playing
We set off heading to the east
My, was it a long...

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I visit the bug zapper on Tuesday
much to the radiology teams delight

I named it thus before meeting it formally
my comedic self puts up this type of dust

If you make fun of it enough
it can't cause...

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I saw this thread hanging from my shirt the other day and was hit with a memory…back to my first year of teaching in Florida…and a young girl named Stephanie.

Stephanie was a beautiful little girl…her...

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It's been over a long while (since 1991 at the age of three) since I'd been diagnosed with autism. I've been an autistic
human being after I turned three years old. But despite being diagnosed with...

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Heavy is my soul
its hard to breathe
i tore out the bricks of the fire place
and in the room prior
i ripped up dirty magazines
crupling protsest
so the witches and voices and gods 
would forgive me

I've cried for...

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Like lack of preventive health care,
far more love is lost
through passive neglect
than active abuse.

And so it is
perhaps a negative corollary
we, most of us,
have failed to notice,
neglecting the industrial, then colonizing
history of unhealthy abusive gunpowder
moving toward...

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Lord how many times have you
been blamed.  For the free choice
you have given man.
   When man goes to war in your
name, how is it you're to blame?     ...

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I am a teacher?
That’s what you hope?

If a teacher
engages students learning what and why and how
the teacher intends, and practices,
mentors,
co-walks the walk,
then,
no,
I suppose I am not a nutritiously green teacher,
so much as grayscale multisystemic decomposer...

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Intellectual progress with thee
beyond this, that, here or even there
of matter within what color, shape, size, weight, etc
All in all, we started with for example if you were to use a pencil or a pen,...

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Memory houses soul asylum vestige...
where complex edifice once anchoring
venerated Glen Elm demesne once stood,
now nothing except vinyl city!

I recall breathtaking, expansive, incredible
numerous, tremblingly awe inspiring views
billion miles (slight exaggeration) heavenly
sights comfortably ensconced, while perched
high atop...

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