Funny Light Verse Poems

grandma’s socks 
were hollyhocks

her jumper
juniper

her skirt
was a wort
with a yellowness
but

some days she wore
a purpleness sort

squirm and squirm
and writhe and dance
as grandma’s undies
were nettle pants




...

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rhino and chimp in the knife and fork drawer
a baker baking bread on the ocean floor
jumble jumble
indoor shed
oh someone put the oak tree back to...

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Cow is very close to Pig
Pig is busy
busy streets and restaurants
plenty of eating and dining out

Cow is also close to Sheep
Sheep is nice
quaint and picturesque
numerous...

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At the Easter buffet, the lady sitting next to me said, 
“You know what honey?
Your jokes ain’t all that funny."
I said, “You know ~ I’ve...

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fine trousers wore the goblin
pockets full of goblin hands

fine scarf wore the goblin
tucked into some goblin pants

fine brogues wore the goblin
laces full of goblin craft

fine...

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jam

it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan

though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not...

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a horse named
Lollipop
dug a hole

a mole
told Lollipop
to stop

but Lollipop
dug
dug
dug

so the mole
trotted with a
clipperty clop



...

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squake the guisely skwallard
there’s pudding in the fridge
but leave a siley pappledoth
for the midnight gobbleditch

let it eat a munchinfless
and skreel a throbbledue
hide and hope the...

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dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen

dessert door dessert...

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he belched 
and belched

his giblets fraught

he burped 
a burp

his gizzards ought
to churn and turn
his entrails wrought

when up rose up
a belch and burp

then in both hands
his...

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The first time you kissed me, it was such a shock,
I literally saw time stop on the old kitchen clock.
But before you accuse me of...

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hooray! hooray! for the hippopotamus
who was awarded with a posthumous
award of utmost importantness
oh we never never never must
forget that brave hippopotamus




...

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staring at a stereo
in the Serengeti
Sarah getting stir crazy
gotta get out of this ghetto
Sarah saw a
chance and took it
sailed on a sailboat
slowly to Nantucket
thanks wholly
to...

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This Cowboy came into this world with nothing.
So when you said you were leaving, I said
" Fine."
Now I hope I'll find me a little something.
That...

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at a patio table
sat a pangolin and penguin
    pondering

and there they pursued
under a parasol
    perusing

diving with questions
delving for answers

they...

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