Funny Light Verse Poems

the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search 
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night

the common oak 
a wise...

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Crow (Blackus Menacingus)
large, clever and a scavenger
found in gardens where there’s trees
good at puzzles, can be trained
likes TV shows about celebrities

Blackbird (Blackus Not-A-Pirateus)
common gardeners friend...

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jam

it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan

though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not...

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dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen

dessert door dessert...

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When I stumbled upon Alice's hole,
I felt an overwhelming joy envelop my soul.
With little fear of harm or peril,
I could now crawl into the tale...

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The first time you kissed me, it was such a shock,
I literally saw time stop on the old kitchen clock.
But before you accuse me of...

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staring at a stereo
in the Serengeti
Sarah getting stir crazy
gotta get out of this ghetto
Sarah saw a
chance and took it
sailed on a sailboat
slowly to Nantucket
thanks wholly
to...

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This Cowboy came into this world with nothing.
So when you said you were leaving, I said
" Fine."
Now, I hope I Find a little Darling.
That can...

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at a patio table
sat a pangolin and penguin
    pondering

and there they pursued
under a parasol
    perusing

diving with questions
delving for answers

they...

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Three times the mass of the sun
were the boobs of stripper, Priscilla the Hun.
And when the adoring men yelled out for more,
she'd shimmy and knock...

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    so

a possum who wanted to be
not a possum but a wallaby

    but 

a wallaby who wanted to be
a...

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I was born in the Year of the Rabbit,
which left me with a very nasty habit.
I like to nibble on stuff,
sometimes nice, sometimes rough,
and when...

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whatcha do when your mom
has on speed dial a bunch
of famous folks, find
your favorite and text ‘em
funny faces and love
from you to d’em

finding the cookie...

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when holded Earle a too large cup
of water heapied one inch up
drankied drankied Earle guzzler
and wetted chin and all his beard
slurping gulping could be heard
‘til...

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I'm retired and live in a small, mobile home,
about 5600 miles from the outskirts of Rome,
about 7200 miles from the waters of the Ganges,
and about...

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