We are often sold it is cricket’s true home
The gold tapestry we toast hallowed tome
Legends ghost last post told free to roam
Groundsmen boast on outfield wield a comb
Host should do a search on Google chrome
Would yield the strip is most about the loam
Frippery and filigree are so suitably kitsch
Coiffured rest of ground then got a stitch?
Eating kedgeree no pedigree critics snitch
Pundits pounce the bounce does bewitch
Batters flounce in tatters is a serious hitch
Not a titch moves alot watch them twitch
Trounce the culprits it is time for a switch
Not in pulpits being a bit*h MCC’s so rich
Scratch fans itch give us a Test match pitch
Have pity on the Scott’s ruled
By the Brexit voting sassenach
Who don’t seem to understand
We too want out country back.
Arbroath Smokies for breakfast
Porridge seasoned with salt
Kedgeree, Haggis, neaps and tastes
With wee drams of single Malt.
Pints of Heavy Friday nights
The working weeks end
Words of wisdom swapped
With true and blethered friend.
Fish and taties frae the chippie,
Deep fried Mars Bar to follow
Just to round off the night
A sweet delight to swallow.
Then the planning to drive
The Sassenachs from our soil,
Take back all our fish and
What’s left of North Sea oil.
Home Rule For Scotland
Restore our law and Order
Keep those thieving Brits
To their side of the border.
We'll gladly offer asylum
To those few of sound mind
Who want to up sticks and leave
Those heathen Tories far behind.
Let them keep their wee King
They’re always asking God to save
We’ll have the massed pipe bands
Loudly playing Scotland the Brave
Goodbye United Kingdom
Land of thieving Tory
Living on faded memories
Of Passed hope and glory.
Scotland the Brave
Scotland the free
Goodbye puny England
We’re all so well shot of thee
FISH AND FISHING
Eat fish and you’re fed for one meal says my wife;
But learn how to fish and you’re fed all your life.
But the taste of that fish
It’s not what I wish -
It’s meat and potatoes I want on my knife.
If I had to catch what I eat in the sea
With never a taste of a sausage or pea,
My meals would be sad
And my taste-buds not glad.
I’d rather have nothing at all but my tea.
The fish in the ocean need not fear me.
Just turnips and carrots and cabbage, you see,
And porkchops and veal
And burgers ; not eel,
Nor dolphin, nor codfish nor kedgeree.
........................................................
Written for John Freeman's Contest: Limericks About Fishing
A savoury kedgeree
Lancashire hotpot
A prime beef wellington pie
With pan haggerty
Spotted-dick pudding
Real ale
Cheers!
A
full
English
breakfast dish-
kedgeree platter.
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