Something came in the mail so i became pale but it was just a male named dale eating stale kale on sale found on a rail at yale but he failed and his female wearing a veil ran and bailed so he let out a wail and went to drink ale made from scales of a snail’s tail and then he went on a trail and saw some quail next to cattail but it started to hail so he began to flail until he came upon a jail surrounded by shale but he wanted to go to Vail so he decided to sail and spotted a whale then the wind turned gale but since hes very hale he managed to prevail
What could I eat today? I wonder.
How about some kale? Suggests my roommate Under.
I’d much rather eat live mice, or an ink pen or bird pooh off a tree.
But I try not to say it, for it might seem mean of me.
I did eat it once. Accidentally and it was worse than it looks.
I know you don’t believe it, but I’d rather eat hooks.
Fish hooks, coat rack hooks, or hooks on a string.
Kale as a food is my very last thing.
Would you rather eat a nose? An ear? A baby’s bottom?
Who the heck are you? Oh….it’s my great grandma Autumn.
I’d rather eat a rat trap, a mouse nest, and a squirrel’s tale.
I’d rather eat almost anything than that horrible awful kale!
by Wayne Wysocki
I'm eating kale to slim my waist
Lord knows it's not because of taste
It took some while to appreciate
The leafy green I love to hate
The fibrous queen of super foods
Can satisfy nutrition prudes,
And comes in leafy shapes galore:
Curly, Tuscan, dinosaur
For variation I can gnaw
This crucifer sautéed or raw,
Just as is, or baked as chips,
A smoothie blend to please my lips
But having said all that, I'll add
Too much of anything is bad,
And I've been craving, as of late,
A change of greens to grace my plate
I now peruse the produce aisle
To find the foods that make me smile
It's time to choose my next big thing
Like watercress or collards green
I'll greet my new nutrition trend
And say goodbye to you, old friend
Kale, we've had a lovely run,
But now my time with you is done.
Green leaves tossed about
No sugar, fat or flavour to shout
You know you should eat it more
But chewing rabbit food is such a chore
Increase you life span by the week
There will be no more red meat
The days of unrelenting taste
Have left us - Oh, what a waste
So as we look to our culinary future
Alas, all I see is a health food nurture
For those tasty treats from my childhood
Kale and rocket will be all that eating should.
© Paul Warren Poetry
Part 3
She dropped the greens in a hurry
sliding back on all fours
desperate to get away from the vegetable that she couldn’t have seen move
she was going crazy
that was the only logical solution
But somehow,
she knew,
this wasn’t one of the many times her mind had tricked her
making her believe something
that no one else believed
Throwing away the idea of being sneaky,
they advanced forward
showing their faces to the one that had ruined everything
she scrawled against the wall behind her
struggling to get away from the things moving towards her
Creeping their way towards her cowering form in a corner
they limped on their leaves
growing soggy from the ice that was once on them melting
in the heat of the inside
how could she stand this heat when she claimed to love the cold?
Then, the attack began
Leaves scratching
hands batting
a scream
a whimper
and then nothing
There's a land to visit in your dreams
a place that really has, it seems,
no Brussels sprouts or cauliflower,
no cabbage, broccoli or sauer-
-kraut or parsnips or broad beans,
and where peas truly are the only greens.
Spuds they bake there have some crunch
so they go quite well with Sunday lunch.
And, to get apple pie or creamy whips
you only have to eat your chips.
So close your eyes and try to find
The Land Of Kale Much Maligned,
where Popeye, building superpowers,
shuns spinach and instead devours,
guess what, to give him strength supreme?
Yes! Lots of scones with jam and cream!
Steam just 'til leaves turn bright green.
Toss with minced garlic,
chopped olives (kalamata)
grapeseed oil, almonds
and fresh lemon juice.
Feta topped.
Yum!
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I am grateful for Chad, my new tattoo artist.