Funny Jail Poems

My bars the words, the prison guard my verse,
Rattling the staves of this poetic cell,
I struggle vainly, locked up in this jail. 
Yea, thus is...

Read More

Doing Time is not easy but it's something that I gotta do/
Survival of the fittest so this how I gotta move/
I'm not the strongest so...

Read More

You spend all the day sneaking about
but you'll pay for each rule you now flout

You can bet that sweet tail,
you're the next cat to jail

and...

Read More

While I was out’a slummin’
I heard the sirens hummin’
	hands restrained behind
	now in jail I find
I shoulda seen it comin’...

Read More

There once was a brash barmaid named Belle
Her virtue she would selflessly sell
	she was nicked by the cops
	for illegal house stops
She now spends her spare...

Read More

First day
No way

Lost book
He took

No good
A hood

Bad thief
My beef

Loud shout
Found out

Poor schnook
A crook

In court
Have tort

No bail
In jail

Too bad
Not sad...

Read More

I was not the culprit this time, but no one believed or could see.
Since I had done it six months earlier, no one wanted to...

Read More

JUDGE: BEFORE----()---()-------
                       ...

Read More

After a wonderful late afternoon walk in the park, 
my wife and I moseyed over to the Japanese Hibachi Grille for some dinner. 
What we...

Read More

When Popeye whipped Brutus's ass
I shoulda' promptly been sent to mass
Wiley C. gets flattened by a safe?
What a horrid, repulsive disgrace!
Elmer tried to murder Bugs...

Read More

Oh Lord,forgive the arresting officer
who first caught me when I committed crime__
for destroying my future.
Again,I pray to blindfold the inspector of police__
that He may order...

Read More

Sue's Night in Jail

By Elton Camp

Sue was preparing to settle in for the night
When a knock on her door gave her a fright

"Open up and...

Read More

I’m in Cook County Jail and don’t know why
All because of a devious lie
When I bend for the soap
It’s the only one not on a...

Read More

It isn't any fun
being locked up in jail.
Sitting all by my lonesome
in this cracker box cell.

The bed is too hard
and I never really rest.
I asked...

Read More