Sometimes we have pain so deep
we let it hide in our heart
fast asleep.
Sometimes it's so hard
to face
what we have in that
secret place.
Sometimes we try to
bring it out
our heart tries to shout.
Release this pain from me
please, please let me be.
Sometimes we glimpse a part
we can see a slender start.
Please pain come forth
out of me
I want someone to see
the grief you are causing me.
Sometimes we wish not care
sometimes we wish not to share
sometimes we wish not to bear
the pain hidden so deeply there.
There is pain that
I cannot heal.
There is suffering
That I cannot help.
There are cuts that
I cannot kiss better.
There are tears that
I cannot hug away.
The world has so much
That I cannot help with.
But there is some
That I can.
There is pain that I can
Help heal by listening to them.
There is suffering that I can
Help by being there for them.
There are cuts that I can
Kiss better because they let me.
There are tears that I can
Hug away by holding them close.
I may not be able
To help the world.
But by being who I am,
I can do something in my part.
There is pain, suffering, cuts
And tears that I can’t help heal.
But there is also pain, suffering
Cuts, and tears that I can.
And I do,
By helping heal my
Small corner of the world.
I help heal myself.
When loved ones pass from our lives
how do we say our final goodbyes?
how best to express the pain we feel
deep down within our inner self.
We scream, We cry, we ask why!
yet most can neither explain
nor make us understand
what causes us to feel this hurt
we even seek to question the man above
but at times even his response
is neither undestood or accepted.
We can choose to express our feelings
in any number of ways
perhaps putting pen to paper
will help express and hopefully
east this unending pain.
When this is done
What next! some might ask.
Perhaps send this letter towards heaven
burn it within fire and flame
and watch as the ashes fly upwards
towards those we love and miss.
Then perhaps our pain will end
and only memories will stay with us
until our time upon this earth
comes to a close.
I wonder why
God permits pain and murder
Evil undermines faith
Painful, isn’t it
It isn’t painful
Faith undermines evil
Murder and pain permits God
Why, wonder I
Bringing out struggles and hardships
Echoing pain from within myself
Resounding outside my protective walls
Going again and again
Seeking relief from internal struggle
Trying new revenues for my suffering
Desperate for the answer
I turn to things forbidden and hurting
I slowly lose my sanity
As I watch the blood pour from man-made wounds
Leaking out tears and the essence of life
Leaving out pain from all thought
Ignoring the burning will power to start again
Recreating stains of ruby red
Calling for a hopeless world
That only turns their backs
I find the will to end what I started
Finishing my self-inflicted torment
And wishing I could block the pain that escaped from the holes I never thought I'd make...
Why these tears?
What can they mean?
The pain I feel, it is the same,
whether or not it has a name.
I am a living tear that flows.
All the pain I feel today
Is just tomorrow’s yesterday.
I am a living tear that flows.
Why these tears?
What can they mean?
The pain I feel, it is the same
Whether or not it has a name.
JVB May 15, 2006 White Mountain Apache Reservation, Arizona
Expressing inner feelings
Turmoil and torment
Putting it in writing
My way to repent
Penning deepest secrets
Tortured, weary soul
Eases the pain somehow
Helps me to extol
Unbarring broken spirits
Written on this page
Read but not forgotten
Keeps my mind engaged
I will keep on writing
About the pain I do acquire
No breaks from the torture
But inspiration is inspired
Sweet serenity
On the surface
A meer illusion
A masquerade
Hiding the scars
Denying the existence
Of the anguish
That lingers endlessly
Inside my soul
Underneath the sweetness
Lies seething rage
Tainted innocence
Lullabies aborted
Only hurt, pain & lies remain
Denied my tears
Robbing me of my right to be myself
To think, to feel, to be free
Over this decade long stay
In this suicidal inferno
That transformed my being
From a masochist to a viglante
Out for prairie justice
Drawing blood unmercilessly
Protecting the child inside myself
That is crying for someone to kiss this pain away
Gray clouds hanging low in the sky
echo my feelings
help me to cry
the pain has been building now for days
the emotions
just won’t go away
These feelings of loneliness and despair
so very empty
like nobody cares
I sit at the window shivering in silence
as the rain falls
and stiffens my defiance
I have to fight off this depression
no matter the cost
or die in submission
the rain drums it’s rhythm steadily down
and soothes my soul
but no more feelings can be found
It’s easier that way you know
not to feel,
so I’ve been told
But I know there’s more to life
than all the hurting
the pain and the strife
Somebody help me, is anyone there?
I’m drowning
in this rain of despair
Some days this pain is just too raw.
It is more than me just feeling blah.
So much pain from too many sources.
Through my mind this turmoil courses.
Will I have peace of mind?
Will true love I ever find?
Will I see my kids again ever?
Or will those bonds be forever sever?
Why can't I ever be normal?
Why am I always so formal?
Does anyone really care?
I know that life is unfair.
These are just a few of my woes.
They are worse than any foes.
One day the answers I shall find.
Then I can no longer be confined.