All is lost.
I refuse to believe
Light still shines.
Hope is fading.
It is foolish to think
Strength remains.
I am ill.
I do not concede that
There is a cure.
Hope is slipping.
It is absurd to think
I will get better.
And this will all come true unless we reverse it.
Got bedbugs in my belly
Frogmen made of jelly
Sour, shallow, pools of pity
My hollow, wallow city
Jeepers Creepers on my trail
Crypt Keeper tells my tale
My flaccid finger fumbles
Then thunder rolls and rumbles
Hi-Yo Silver! Trigger falls!
My King Crimson stains the walls!
Then the black drips from my eyes!
Jackson Pollock wins the prize!
There was never a specific moment when I knew it was over
It could have been the first time breath refused to fill my lungs
Or when my own voice first shouted vile things inside me head
Maybe it was when I reached for that blade with shaky hands not knowing I would never put it down
Or when the shouting changed from mine to those whom I love
Perhaps it was when the cold sting of steel no longer made things go quiet
But I guess the first moments aren’t really the ones that matter as in the end they all lead to my last
An expiration date has been given
Like a common loaf you would bake
This one slightly differs, as past due is the date
Delve deep into the depths, where mysteries do lurk
To pluck out an answer, one might not think will work
You will find each foot planted, in a very shallow grave
Which one will get you there quicker, a choice must be made
But in the end it doesn't matter, the result stays the same
So now you must choose wisely, a balance must be paid
It all boils down to that inevitable, unfair trade
Stubbed my toe but I’m still dead.
Moments feel like organs.
And hours are my taste buds tasting organs.
It feels like I’m dead like paint chips crumbling.
It’s like being born as a centipede over and over.
That’s why stuff happens faster.
Blink and your toe pops off in a field of nowhere.
This is like a severe mental illness.
Except that I have most of my eyes and fingers.
Eat a donut like nothingness.
Stubbed my toe and fell asleep.
Sometimes you need a sharp pain.
Like a tree needs branches trimmed.
Stubbed my toe but still have hallucinations.
It takes so much.
Signed the papers.
The hospital said “Hi.”
They don’t always help.
Unless you’re drained and parched.
And a nurse hands you a droplet.
The walls have walls.
The clock cooks me slowly.
Grumble, grumble.
When the hospital greeted me…
I had a moment where I felt like I could flop down on the floor.
I belonged.
But you don’t slouch in here.
And if you do, hornets scream.
Signed out.
Took my bag and burning, foaming lips.
I wondered if anyone left a message.
Went home to a harsh palace.
With suncatchers.
Burning, foaming memories.
Signed out.
No one greeted me for a long time.
At least- not like the hospital.
“Hi there.
Set your bag over there.
And welcome to the place where hornets go to die.”
Yeah.
My friends thought I ditched them all week.
The hospital said “Bye.”
How could they know?
I thought I could create perfection -
I was wrong.
It wasn’t my fault -
No, not really,
I tried to make allies with a system that hates my colour,
And tried to fit in to beauty standards that never carried my size,
I played god with my body -
And in the end it didn’t work out,
I took out my weaknesses and replaced them with strengths,
Turns out my strengths were my weaknesses,
And my weaknesses were my strengths -
A lesson I learned too late,
A lesson I can’t replay.
Fate was an opponent already chosen by destiny,
Now when I look myself in the mirror,
The girl I see isn’t a winner,
I see a girl who once skipped dinner,
That led to a slippery slope of wanting to be thinner,
Her body saw her as a sinner,
Tried to heal but health came with a price, she got bigger,
Now she looks in the mirror disgusted by her figure,
And only then she would realise, she only looked good when she was sicker,
Happiness or health? - That question would forever linger.
Your heart is so true,so pure
Your smile is always genuine, I am sure.
The feeling of togetherness is one and the same
Best buddies are for each other, as we claim.
The playing of games,the teasing and maze
The moments we share,are better with days.
You are a person, full of energy and fun
I wish to have such a friend, forever, in long run.
You wipe my sorrows,when I am in pain
I enjoy sharing moments, in summer, winter and rain.
You are a hope,a ray of light
I want you,my friend, how much ever we fight.
The bond of friendship, that we share
Is so precious, of course rare.
For me,I know, you are always there
For you,my dear,I equally, care.
You are always there to encourage
You calm me down,when I outrage.
You are a source of happiness and joy
The memories we share,we do enjoy.
Our friendship is a blessing, a treasure
The depth of which, nobody can measure...
“Alive” is just thunder in your bones.
Like you died except there’s some sense that I could blink if I needed to.
This type of delusion makes mustard seem tasty by the bottle.
I’m dead.
For some reason.
When you’re dead for a few weeks?
You don’t feel much.
Or ask much.
“Alive” is a type of gimmick.
While “dead” is a lazy lunch on the patio.
Throwing away your elbow grease.
I’ll never fix the leaky faucet again.
That’s what “dead” does to you.
Contest Name: 1501 Sept 2026 part 4x4'
Sponsor Brian Strand
******************************************
How I hunger for the connection
that I always break
or fail to make.
Its absence is an emptiness
invading my personal space.
Deafening silence rings my ears
and making my head throb and ache.
Whether surrounded by people or all on my own, there's no change
Though its presence is unwelcome, it persists to overstay.
Insistent that within its grasp
is where, forever, I shall remain.
Imprisoned behind the bars
of its isolating ways.
Feeling crushed beneath the heaviness of its invisible chains.
Wheezing shallow breaths, suffocating and in pain.
Asking, telling, screaming, yelling; it just won't go away.
Neither will it set me free nor permit me to escape.
Sentenced my whole lifetime as its intimate inmate.
Inadequate;
The word resonates with sickening intensity
All through my life I've had to be my own advocate
I've battled for myself with staggering immensity
The clashing of swords, the beating of drums,
I fight for myself despite the outcomes
I'm withered and weary, battle-worn and aching
I throw down my arms, finally forsaking
But I get right back up despite my depression
I knock down my foes now in quick succession
The war rages on, heartbreakingly perpetual
How much can I bear? My defeat is eventual
One day, I will be knocked down,
And as I rest on the earth, on the cold bloodied ground,
I'll smile in my defeat,
Because now my demons have finally been beat.
Gets tougher and tougher
They powdered your buffer
And buffered your puffer
When found that you suffer...
Mental Metro Central-
Residential Rental-
Open Dystopian-
Anti-Utopian-
Fallopian Syndrome
Mental Illness is not a violation.
It's a human experience.
One many carry unspokenly.
The real harm is uncovered
How others respond:
The quick labels, the cold
Stares, the whispered verdicts.
A mind in toil needs support, not punishment,
Compassion, not condemnation.
Because the truth is straightforward:
The crime is in the person
Who sees the hurt and chooses to
Judge it.
Some stuff turns brain chemistry into a bowl of leeches.
Sawdust that you eat with a platter of fake mints.
When you have mixed up neural slices?
They get disposed.
Neurons.
Doing jumping jacks in unison.
Brains are like billboards.
They eat your eyes.
And get torn down like mush.
My brain chemistry is mine.
Witches brew mindset.
The neurons?
Never made it back.
They got squeezed too many times.
From the minarets the call to prayer resounds
Breaking the peaceful silence of the dawn
In its undulation of fervent fanatical need
And all across the world the daily call spreads
Making non-believers at least tolerant
Of the mysterious words and haunting refrain
Lulled into acceptance as by a snake charmer
Women too now rising up
In the name of liberation
Fervently fanatical in the need
To have it their way,
From conception to abortion and infanticide
To now the freedom to filicide,
Have it their way
A brave new Burger Queen world
Without compromise or sacrifice
For the only job they were born to do.
Meanwhile the minaret keeps up its call
Loudly proclaiming to the faithful
Ignorant and deluded,
And increasingly deserving,
“Make Misogyny Great Again”.
(9/13/26)
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