Funny Humorous Poems

There was a carney, I knew as Larry.
He lived with a knife thrower, named Sherry.
Sherry loved her yellow canary,
and trusted its care while gone to...

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On a cruise, she danced wild on the deck,
Slipped and flashed all the way to Quebec.
The captain just stared,
Then shyly declared,
“Ma’am, this is not how...

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Oh, hail the champions of the couch potato throne,  
Whose true inspiration is laziness alone!  
From the depths of sloth, great inventions arise,...

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Call me fickle
no doubt about it
I’m in a pickle
a firkin full of gherkin
quite a quandary
tho' still a dill
the question isn’t funny
it’s ridiculous
others may tickle us
yet...

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Hotty to notty—
That’s a bad thing, bro.
Hotty to naughty—
Now that’s a good way to go.
Hotty to notty,
Hotty to naughty.

Hotty to notty—
Their looks go bad.
Hotty to...

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Calendar commences, conviviality,
kids kvetch knishes cold,
cantaloupe crappy,
kids constantly crunching cookies,
cake, candy.
Could kayaking, canoeing, camping
in Canada cure cantankerous
children's contention?
Can caddying at the country club
conquer kid's complaining?
chaos...

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Going barefoot feels fine at the time
and wearing shoes do too
but sometimes I need something light
something not quite so tight only sandals will do
going barefoot...

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Oh, the joy of telemarketers,
Who call you up without a care,
With offers they believe are clever,
But really just provoke despair.

They call with grand insurance plans,
Covid...

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The despicable fly thinks he is tall
Because he landed so high on the wall
But I’m about to show him just how small
He truly is when...

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In the dark of night, where dreams bear bloom,
and silence reigns in my shadowed room,
my pillow waits, serene, composed,
awaiting my sleepy head to doze.

Beneath my...

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The sun is high in the summer sky
And no clouds to be seen
The grass is high neath the summer sky
And growing tall and green
The mower...

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Emma, Empress of Unicorn Empire,
esprit de corps of elementary school,
expeditious at exaggerating expression,
eagerly extending empathy of enormous embrace,
endless enthusiasm, exuberant existence.

Deacon, Duke of derring-do,
diligently, doggedly...

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“Let’s hang this heavy picture,”
I heard my wife say to me.
Giving her a claw hammer
I put a steel nail up high.
“When I nod my head,...

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Tickle my fancy
tickle my toes
tickle my funny bone
(both elbows)

put a smile in my life
a laugh let me hear
place a grin on my face
(from ear to...

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Poetry, Plato says know it;
"Go," though, he says to the poet.
It's good to be good,
But be understood, 
Best if you never do show it....

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