Animal Humor Poems

I have to go pee 
but my bladder is tiny 
won't you hurry, please !...

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What is the little calf studying? We asked Farmer Blue.
Don’t ask me, his university college is down in Kalamazoo.
Always looking in those financial books, unsure...

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The platypus excels at evolution
And displays a super cool solution
For making his way amidst the muck, 
He don't run aground.  He don't get stuck.
Of this, the platypus would...

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"Tyger, tyger burning bright
In the forests of the night…"
Archaic spelling set aside,
And not intending to be snide,
But really, Mr. Blake, I take exception.
While a tiger's...

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It’s true, we both swim through the muck,
But don’t compare me to a duck.
No, I wouldn’t do that until
You’ve reckoned my rubbery bill....

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Drunk, in a funk, a lowly punk, I shrunk from a skunk.  It stunk. Away I slunk.  I too stunk, I thunk. ...

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“Dragons don’t live up to the talk. 
I’ll find a way to fix the wagon”,
Opined the jealous Jabberwock,
“Of the scaly, lummox dragon.” 

This foul fiend...

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I knew a leopard with a lithp,
A religiouth thort of beatht,
He thaid hith inclinationth,
Came from eating a prietht....

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Can the llama see?
We truly did not know
How can he not get lost?
Where does he go?

The llama began to buck.
He saw his chance, he spun...

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I led the stubborn horse to water
Couldn't make him drink as he oughta
I swore and I cursed
When he died of thirst
Shoulda traded him for one...

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Our friend Mr. Ed was a talking horse.
We remember him with tears of remorse, 
But, children, please try not to be so sad.  ...

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There once was a pig from New York 
Who wasn’t the cleverest of pork 
Worked at a butchers shop 
Until he got the chop
Now Will...

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Posh giraffes like to take a lengthy sip
Outstanding manners we will not let slip
We like afternoon tea
From a cup - hear our plea
Give us a...

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There once were two giraffes from Gibraltar,
Saw a banquet and said, "do ya think that we oughta?"
Well as long as we're fast,
We'll have to make...

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There were once some giraffes asked to tea
They politely accepted with glee.
The butler remarked, ”Aren’t YOU tall!”
For you, our chairs are too small.
So they drank...

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