When someone stumbles and falls on their ass;
we find their predicament humorous.
And even though it is considered crass,
the people caught laughing are numerous.
When playing tug of war, inches to go,
uncontrolled nervous laughs may start to show,
and should the rope break, that laughter will grow.
Heaven forbid someone should slip on ice,
we'll break out laughing, although it isn't nice;
yet, the butt of a joke exacts a price.
Why do we laugh when someone passes gas;
or a skier fractures their humerus?
If there's a why, I don't profess to know;
that it's impulsive will have to suffice.
Categories:
humerus, cheer up, funny, giggle,
Form: Rhyme
A vicar once said to a nun
Why don’t you and me have some fun
She yawned and said, “Look,
I’ve got the good book,
So, just let me know when you're done.”
*
19 May 2023
Contest: Funny, Bawdy or Humerus
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Categories:
humerus, rude,
Form: Limerick
Humorous? This could be one;
rhyming rules are numerous,
jumping through hoops nearly fun
as bumping your humerus…
An Ae Freislighe, an Irish quatrain with abab and 2-syllable and 3-syllable end rhymes on lines 7 syllables in length. Poem should start and end with same word(s), but I used a homophone here, because, why not?
https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/ae-freislighe-poetic-form
Categories:
humerus, humorous, writing,
Form: Other
The other day I got a flyer
Because I am a frequent flier
And, as you have already guessed
It said I was an 'honoured guest'
In fact, the 'most important one'
And a 'special prize' I had won
I gasped out loud, my breath did bate
And of course, I took the bait
Must be a diamond! (at least a carat)
So l ate the dangled carrot
Newsletters and ads I signed up for
Promotional emails, at least four
Well! I laughed myself completely hoarse
It seems I'd won a bloody horse!
I fell down in shock upon my humerus
The situation no longer humorous
My heart sank low weighed down like lead...
It seems it's up the creek I've been led
Categories:
humerus, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
Dance with your skeletons
Fling the closet doors wide
Throw open the blinds
Let the sunshine inside
Dance with your skeletons
You know that I’m right
For they have no backbone
When held to the light
Dance with your skeletons
Introduce them to friends
And eventually
Your collection will thin
So bring out those old bones
And shake off the dust
It’s time for spring-cleaning
Get the broom if you must
Yes, dance with your skeletons
Step on their feet
The more that you lead them
They’ll take a backseat
Dance with your skeletons
Till they're not dangerous
See, they have a funny bone
And that’s humerus
Dance with your skeletons
Rattle those bones
When you go to your closet
You’ll soon find you’re alone
Categories:
humerus, dance, fear,
Form: Lyric
From marrow to vein the thin thread of memory drags another new malignancy out into the light.
I shall tuck it, as a gift, within Destot’s space and leave it to harden and calcify until it’s colour is pale and stony.
This new seed inside my hidden framework will soon germinate, but will never push out towards the dying constellations.
Instead, it will coil its way along ulna, humerus and clavicle and bind bad dreams into a hard, red jewel that will nestle between skull and vertebrae.
Cartilage grinds and sinew creaks as this bud of echoes sprouts and entwines
up through mandible and tooth.
Knife to neck, hand in pajamas, sodden mattress, accusations, laughter under dimming lights.
All of these petals are forever open and held aloft by invading stems that relentlessly offer up the blooms of another time.
I am encased, but the stories of my joints continue to thrive and search a path through my skeletal remorse.
And I will always stop to smell the flowers.
Categories:
humerus, body, flower, hurt, memory,
Form: Free verse
The Wife of Bath
She made me laugh
Can't recall now precisely why
It's something she stirred
with her foot in her mouth
and humerus in gooseberry pie
Categories:
humerus, food, humorous, literature, wife,
Form: Light Verse
The human skeleton,
is made up of 206 bones
By jove, they are hard,
as if made of stones!
The brain you think with
is in the Skull or Cranium,
the Maxilla and the Mandible
are for chewing bubble gum.
It's atop the spine
which has 33 Vertebrae in all
You're sure gonna break it
if there's a nasty fall.
The 12 pairs of ribs
act just like a big ring,
while 10 fix to the Sternum
the bottom 2 are Floating.
The shoulder blade or the Scapula
is joined with the Clavicle
How they organize the movement
Is another spectacle.
The arms have the Humerus,
the Radius and the Ulna,
The hands' have wrist bones
called Carpals (not made in China).
With Metacarpals and Phalanges
we complete our hand,
don't you forget the lower limbs,
upon which we stand.
The hip bones make the Pelvis
from which the Femur originate
If you gyrate it like elvis
the Patella is sure to break.
Tibia and Fibula
are there in the Shin
The Tarsals and Metatarsals
shape your feet as it's seen.
Our journey ends here
Let me take your leave,
Take good care of your bones
for as long as you live.
Categories:
humerus, 10th grade, 8th grade,
Form: I do not know?
Humor is easy to explain,
It often comes from pain.
A leg broken times numerous,
Fractured my ribs, so humerus.
Because it's all about perspective,
You prospectively prospective-
Actually, I'm not really all that funny..
Sorry..
Categories:
humerus, blue, humor, missing,
Form: Couplet
Joey Contemplating a Skeleton
By Elton Camp
The teacher told Joey to learn each bone by name
And that there were only about 206 of the same
The parietal, temporal and occipital are in the head
At least that’s what the biology teacher then said
The atlas and axis are two bones found in the neck
Twelve vertebrae are attached to ribs if you check
Lumbar, sacrum and their parts learn without fail
And don’t forget the coccyx that looks like a tail
Of the maxillae and mandible the jaws are made
Collar bone is the clavicle; scapula shoulder blade
Humerus in upper arm, ulna below, radius thumb side
And in wrist and hand carpals & metacarpals reside
Phalanges are found in both the fingers and the toes
The femur, patella, tibia and fibula in the leg goes
But this is only a small sample of what Joey must learn
If an excellent grade in his biology class he will earn
Categories:
humerus, educationteacher, teacher,
Form: Rhyme