Football Hilarious Poems | Examples

These Football Hilarious poems are examples of Hilarious poems about Football. These are the best examples of Hilarious Football poems written by international poets.


The Best of the Best

the greatest lumberjack

     Rufus the Lumberjack

   the greatest hunter

    Jo Lion Guinea Pig

  THE BIGGEST FISHERMAN

    Mr of the hooks

    THE GREATEST VOCALIST

    Paulinho Mouth of Singer

   THE LUCKIEST

    Gaston Luck

   THE POOREST

    João Nobody nowhere man!

THE BIGGEST "CORN"

   Golden Horn Morgado

THE MOST SENSITIVE

    Hyacinth Pleasures

THE MOST POPULAR

    Jo Pop love

THE BIGGEST BUILDER

    John Clay

THE GREATEST CARPENTER

    woodpecker

THE BIGGEST GRAVE DIVINE

    Anonymous Grave

THE GREATEST GARDENER

    Daisy Flowers

THE BIGGEST GREEN

    Zé of Cabbages....

   THE GREATEST OF THE RICH

   UNCLE PATINHAS...

  THE GREATEST AMONG THOSE WHO CRY

It's not a mourner,

is the singer Choráo...

  FOOTBALL'S GREATEST SUPER HERO

Atletico  MG football player,Hulk...! 

THE GREATEST ACCOUNTANT ECONOMIST

  OF FINANCIAL FLAWS


  THE BIGGEST SELLER IN MOURNING

ZÉ DO CAIXÄO - John Coffin

  THE BIGGEST ATHLETE

  Athlete's foot

  BIGGEST POET OF ALL

Anyone from Poetry Soup... !


Premium MemberWhy Bother Vacuuming

My husband is torn.
He wants a clean house.
But he loves our big puppy.
The chewingest dog in the whole dang town.

He says I guess I should vacuum.
I do not comment.
He is tired of hearing me say “why bother?”
So, I lift my feet
And tolerate the annoying drone
Which drowns out my TV show.

Ten minutes later there is snow in the living room.
At least thirty fluff balls. Buddy has chewed the heck out of something.
Football, pillow, stuffed animal, mattress, something.
My husband comes in and gives a big sigh.
“Why do I bother?” he says.
I turn the volume of my TV show up.

Fat For Football

Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!

Ring

The phone is chiming tring tring,
All visions are geared up to who is calling.
Who can it be? assumptions commenced,
A needy relative or a lost friend.

The phone is chiming tring, tring, tring,
Please pick up the phone, daddy yells.
Mom's involved in the kitchen, it's not her only responsibility,
Leave your assignment, attend the call,
Maybe a plan for the concert or invite to attend the ball.

The phone is still ringing tring, tring, tring,
Children are busy with their paintings.
Alas, daddy had to get up from his couch,
I am the person on duty to attend each and every buzzer.
I had to switch off the game of football, growled he stood,
He retorted the ringing tool, after who will pick up a pass it on the game.

The phone ceased ringing, as he picked the receiver,
The caller was his mother in law, the person who he despises. (in the psyche)
Yet he had to attend it with a smile and asked about her health to be kind.
The receiver was handed to his soul mate with a grin,
Now, for two hours the phone won't ring. (for obvious reasons)

Football Mania 2018

World Cup - 2018
Football season
Football fever
Glued to the television

Moments of anxiety
Nail biting
Edge chair sitting
Cussing the players, the referee
Despair, heart wrenching, disappointment

Then

Screaming, shouting... G O A LLLL!!!
Pandemonium, jumping, dancing, 
Pans knocking, horns blowing
Hilarious with joy

My team won

Ouch!

Silence
Sad face, tears, disbelief, anger, mixed emotions

My team lost

Football season
Football fever


Richer Than Rich

Richer than rich!
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad Author
& A Poetry Soup honourably mentioned poet

Has football gone completely mad!
A sport of all now to be had!
Boys and girls play it today.
I wonder, is it for the pay?

Talk is now, if one does go.
To China, that’s overseas, you know.
If here you have made your name.
There you would be one of fame.

I mean a million pounds every week!
No doubt one will work, so to speak.
But kicking an air filled ball.
Ain’t worth one million pounds at all!

Still, if I was offered a payment so.
Off I would blinking go.
I’d write a verse every day!
Rest of the time I’d count me pay.

lol (The new mad Author)

Became Deeply Suspicious

What are the things that tarnishes wishes
Which is when I became deeply suspicious
Was it a word in a poem I recently read?
Which way by word was I being lead?

Maybe such a word was useless and trite
In poem not perfect or fit exactly right
So at it decided to take another look
With only one word could I write book?

Should word be would or possibly could?
How about clear or maybe misunderstood?
Either left, right, sight or only pronoun me
Going on a strike or out when there are three.

Then there is winner, loser, keeper and goal
Weeper when ball was not between each pole
In football there is such a word as intercept
Not on purpose but poor player was inept.

Which one of these words should you choose?
And if not properly interpreted, you will lose
And why do some people appear to be dumb
When in England word mom is really mum.

Is that why we here in America always say 
mum's the word?

James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.

Pause For the Cause

Pause for the Cause

Should Patriots be prepared to take a pause
When they commit crime for Patriotic Cause;
Now all of my fine friends have no fear;
Should have heard what I said to my Dear.

With footballs there are an abundant supply
Along with what could be called a white lie
That are never as fun as each darker one,
So I count them up when each day is done.

Maybe might miscount and should suppose
A much longer length will become my nose;
For sins in school you shall be suspended
Even if long, elegant nose was extended.

With my footballs did some tap dancing around
And to be under-inflated some soon were found;
Further fraudulent football facts we must face;
If over will fluctuate and float into space.

James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
www.poetrysoup.com
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.

Weekend Thrill

Weekend thrill.
Friday night no home football game. Video games are a bore. Wrestling the same 
old stuff. So what good is the weekend. 
Sunday is here what a thrill needed to clean.The rotten grill.
Monday can't get here fast enough. 
Then only four days to be completed. Then it's back to the weekend!

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