Funny Girlfriend Poems | Examples
These Funny Girlfriend poems are examples of Girlfriend poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Girlfriend Funny poems written by international poets.
My girlfriend - can you believe her?
She loved dogs. How could I leave her?
I always had to grin
when she rested her chin
just like a golden retriever.
To all the girls I loved before,
who couldn't wait to whisk me out the door ~
who, after a single, attempted kiss
exclaimed, "Oh please, no more of this!"
Please know, je t'aime encore!
My girlfriend grew up in West Virginny
The mirror told her she was too skinny ~
So she ate like a piggy
Mirror laughed, ‘Bye-bye Twiggy’ ~
When she split the sides of her new mini
Easing the panties down off of a cutie
Provides a good view of her natural beauty
With delicate fabric then out of the way
That play field's clear for that most special play
A stroke and a lick, a tickle and kiss
Will start her along on the way to much bliss
Then she'll look with favor on all of your moves
To head towards getting right into the groove
Unconstrained access to goodies a-plenty
Makes hope spring right up for permissible entry!
in a dream a record store
groovy man its lesley gore
voice mid soprano
and a piano
sleepy sandmans muzak score.
He was skinny as a rail
Dared not put him on a scale
He grew much fatter
Didn’t seem to matter
I knew that he could not fail
~
She livened every party
Always knew she was hearty
She wailed when over
Like she was rover
Howls making her a smarty
~
I left him there in the past
Despite all that he had asked
Begging me to stay
Had to make him pay
Leaving had to be done fast
January was dull and frosty
February was a money grabber and costly
March had a hint of spring
Had a voice like a fog horn and couldn’t sing
April oh how could I forget she burnt me with her cigarette
May well, I rather not say
June had the charms and looks of a baboon
July broke my heart and made me cry
August Was really gorgeous
September I can’t remember?
October she drove straight at me and knocked me over
November not sure of the gender
December was cold and very old
Don’t I pick em what a year
Perhaps a leap year would be less painful.
Peter Dome ©2019
He dropped the words
like a hot potato fail,
"I love... "
(Her heart escalated.)
"...uuukuleles."
(Then tripped on
that same sliding staircase.)
She picked up the words,
then tossed them back.
"I love...."
(She paused for drama.)
"...uuunicorns more."
Apricot skin
Apricot face
Apricot hands
Apricot knees
Apricot apricots
Apricot cat
Apricot paint
Apricot baby's bottom
In my world I always think
Of a pricey apricot dress
My husband's pal paid way too much for it
Wanting to impress a girl who modeled it at a table for us.
Wanting to show off that he had three hundred dollars,
He gave them three hundred dollars for that dress
To surprise his girlfriend, Kathy.
Kathy was surprised.
She would have never chosen this dress.
It was so expensive, he pouted until she wore it to
Every dinner, supper, lunch, and finally to play racquetball in.
Apricot always reminds me of poor Kathy and her irritation.
Every past that perfectly colors letters,
haunting losses beckon the predecessors,
utter names in passion or greeting, makes a
furious girlfriend.
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Written: 01.16.19
Early Night
My lady and me had a date
It’s new year so we stayed out late
Then some TV screen
Said it’s twenty nineteen
But that’s only twenty past eight
27 December 2018
For Shadow Hamilton’s
Let’s Have Fun Limerick contest
Duh! Entered a different poem my mistake... and that one won... yippee!!! Er, I think.
Matt gifted her chocs and a flower
Without joy after many an hour
Rebuffed trouser lump
Not even dry hump
So ended the night with cold shower
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9-9-5-5-9 (howmanysyllables.com)
(C) John C Michaels, May 2017
(Lots of serious poems written recently, so time to lighten the mood!)
At her behest, he'd sworn off meat
"She knows best," he's latched to the teat
With calories halved
Poor guy nearly starved
No wonder with steak he did cheat
---------------
(C) John C Michaels, April 2017
Party-face comes midnight creeping,
Proposing passion—piles heaping.
To boudoir—lustfully leaping,
Next I know—serenely sleeping.
my girlfriends name is marsha mellow
and i am quite a lucky fellow
but dear reader dont be hasty
its not cause her lips are tasty
for shes the orchestras third cello.