Whenever I get a girlfriend
I end up thinking
Someone must have left the
asylum door open
Almost a true story
Anon.
I once told a story about my Ex-girlfriend Gormless Sue Well that was part one And this is part two Gormless Sue had a farm She lived in a cosy warm house But she made me sleep in an old rickety barn Born and bread A Derbyshire lass She had big assets Lots of livestock And she had a lovely ass She told me her Father was a pig Her Mother a cow I found this strange And didn't know how? She never said much apart from a shout She was so Moody had a temper She'd often go out In a huff Taking her dogs for a walk In the woods She'd be out for ages And when she came back She'd be covered in blood? Married 10 times She just couldn't make up her mind As sweet as honey She took all their money And were never seen again? When she got mad She really got mad Why? I didn't understand. If she couldn't get her way She'd throw pots and pans Then all at once it hit me And I began to understand The girl was bonkers she would have made a good actor But she loved her farm And her tractor She was 6 foot 1 inch And nearly 6 foot 1 inch wide She wanted to marry But she would have been too heavy to,carry Then I realised she had a cunning plan As I'd come into some money And she became as sweet as honey And stopped throwing pots and pans I was scared for my life When she kept laughing And kept sharpening her knife She'd give a wild stare When she knew I was there One day we were making hay We got too carried away Let's say we didn't do much work that day As we rolled in the hay She wasn't easy to please And used to make fun and tease I feel lucky I'm still alive There's a lot more to say That I'll have to leave for another time I just hope I can write part 3 and, Survive?. Peter Dome©2024.
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