Funny Food Poems | Examples
These Funny Food poems are examples of Food poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Food Funny poems written by international poets.
Take one and put
five pence in the
money box
Thankyou
Older sister advised, Girls like a man with money
Younger one giggled, Just be funny
I tried to be funny, but made no money
Instead I ate a lot and grew my tummy
That platform of sorrow and sighs,
The scale that so blatantly lies,
I think it takes glee
In laughing at me,
"Your diet has too many pies."
Receiving a pie in the crown,
It just might occasion a frown.
But bear well in mind,
One always will find,
The target is never the clown.
Mary ate a great big ham
her gills turned white as snow
So, to the bathroom Mary went
‘cos up she had to throw
Entry in Bitesize Contest No. 117
Sponsor: Line Gauthier
July 08, 2025
I once knew a real awkward sort of bloke
Who didn’t know how to tell a good joke
He would start out just fine
Then forget the punch line
His dinners were free ~ hard-boiled thrown egg yolk
Why did the teeny, tiny mouse,
With the gigantic size cheese,
Grow as big as a house
And the cheese, smaller than bees?
If I owned a circus
for you I'd play the clown
(Do jugglers ever tire of throwing up?
Only when they're sick of it.)
or if I had a rickshaw
I could run you round the town
if I were landlord of a bar
drinks would be on me
as proprietor of a restaurant
you would dine for free
and if I had a row boat
I would float you down the stream
but as I have none of these
all I can do is dream
Habañero sauce, nice and hot
Dash it all in my cooking pot.
My nose runs everytime I eat.
Every tasty bite brings the heat.
I blow my nose to clear the snot
And I think, “Boy is this stuff hot!”
When I sit on the toilet seat
Is when I really feel the heat!
jam
it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan
though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not blowier than a fan
not cuddlier than a gran
not crustier than a flan
not detailier than a scan
jam
dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen
dessert door dessert door
to a room of pudding galore
the king in his undies
snuck in there one night
. . . and
then went again
for some more
There once was a dumb toad named Blue
who went around eating white glue;
Horns grew from his head,
His body turned red,
He said, “I should have eaten stew.”
The eating of pie before dinner,
It isn’t on point to get thinner.
It’s best to let go
That tin pan of woe,
And be a calorical winner.
Saint Paddy’s Day came and it went.
A gastronomical event.
the food was spot on,
my arteries groan
I’m sorely in need of a stent!
The owl, though some think it is wise,
Finds mice far more tasty than pies.
In matters of taste
Its judgment erased,
Its fees are too high, I surmise.