Funny Food Poems

jam in a sandwich
jam upon toast
jam in puff pastry
jam Sunday roast

jam in a donut
jam served with fries
jam on a cracker
jam curry and rice

jam mash potato
jam...

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Algebra sheet limp beneath my elbow,
mocking me in equations I’ll never understand.
I open Google Classroom like a coffin.
The deadlines stack up
in a mound of unmarked...

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jam

it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan

though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not...

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dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen

dessert door dessert...

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There once was a dumb toad named Blue
who went around eating white glue;
Horns grew from his head,
His body turned red,
He said, “I should have eaten...

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The eating of pie before dinner,
It isn’t on point to get thinner.
It’s best to let go
That tin pan of woe,
And be a calorical winner.
...

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Saint Paddy’s Day came and it went.
A gastronomical event.
	the food was spot on,
	my arteries groan
I’m sorely in need of a stent!...

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The owl, though some think it is wise,
Finds mice far more tasty than pies.
In matters of taste
Its judgment erased,
Its fees are too high, I surmise....

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The pi that’s of math has its day,
But that of the baker, no way.
Though both are quite round,
Less merit is found,
In pies that in stomachs...

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I baked some cookies, fresh and warm,
Their smell, a perfect, sugary storm.
I turned my back for just a beat,
And came back to a missing treat!

The...

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The art of preparing a roast
Is different from that of a toast.
Don’t cook it too dry,
Nor crusty like pie,
More moist will most boast of the...

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    Porky Pig once stopped by my butcher shoppe 
     Pig was not looking for any old slop
...

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I cut a mango.
Oh no, where did my hand go.
Fingers In a cup....

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I want to grub like Shaggy and Scooby,
To feast like kings—no morsel too unruly.
A towering buffet, a calorie spree,
A symphony of snacks calling to me.

Imagine...

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Now you see me.Now you don’t
Everything in between that quote 
Not open for question or debate


...

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