Funny England Poems

Sometimes I find myself inside
A mind of happy man
Who does everything all right
Much better than I can
Owns a house near the sea
Breathing coastline air
There he...

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Oh gaping chasm of misfortune
A sign of council extortion?
Roads not fit for purpose
Driving makes us nervous
Neglect of civil responsibility
The cause of such hostility
Oh pot hole...

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From the unravelled and now exposed mystery 
Tales of leafy Nottinghamshire
And the dusty tatty books of  it's long history
Comes a tale 
You'd think it...

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There was a young woman from Crewe
So drunk that she puked in her shoe
The old biddy who saw
Dropped her mouth down in awe
For they were...

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Dancing in the rain in the UK 

The water is pouring and pounding down
And I'm dancing no doubt looking insane, 
But I can feel the...

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Seen in the movies, swishing swords about,
Those Ninja fighters make you want to run,
Hiding in shadows, jumping in and out,
Would challenge me: my Ninja skills...

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Friday Night Check-ins


The days have been calm and collected.
The guests have been happy, content.
The weekday staff scurry out from the hotel
To avoid the upcoming event.

Weekend...

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Mary Smith, a famous knocker-upper
in London's East End,
Shot dried peas with her pea shooter.
At workers windows
to wake them up
to get to work on time
Every morning
Mary...

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I'm not a Monarchist but I don't hate
The Queen. I lied to her when I was nine
At Finningley it was. We had to wait
For ages...

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The moral compass is spinning
Democracy’s light is dimming
The country faces ruin
The lies just keep on coming

No honour, dignity or integrity remains
In this government that fails...

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Feelings are like farts, let them go and you'll feel better. 

Funny and or gross topic but whatever. 

Tell me that I am lying and...

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baubel fisted clown wiggle

rhyming tune silly jiggle

oppositional

suppositional

merry fool make us giggle.
...

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Peppie was feeling cool  

Watching the sky blue  

Realizing he was on top  

Above good ole rival Klopp  

When Chelsea arrived...

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Scotland sees England as their biggest rival
the nation to beat down and torture. 
but down here in England we see the Scots 
as our neighbours...

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The Measure of A Leprechaun 

Hi, my name is Sean.
I’m a wee, bitty Leprechaun.
I’m a creature of lore,
Only two foot four,
But my legend goes on...

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