Not Cut Out For the Ninja Life

Seen in the movies, swishing swords about, Those Ninja fighters make you want to run, Hiding in shadows, jumping in and out, Would challenge me: my Ninja skills are none. However do they manage all they do? So swathed in dark disguise and masked, And carrying a bow and arrow too, Leaping on rooftops, entering unasked. I couldn’t hit a target with a dart, Even in daylight, even standing still, Just opening a pocket-knife’s an art, I break my fingernails and always will. It’s somehow not for me, that Ninja-ing, Given that my knees are past my best, I have to watch my back when gardening, And carry reading glasses in my vest. So Ninja life is not the thing for me, No warrior, I’m English, mild and free, That night air fogs my glasses constantly, I’d rather watch the cricket on TV!