past knoxville and idaho city there are a pair of adorable nitwits.
townspeople refer to them as kooky oddballs, a couple of twits.
their name is easy to learn. she is backward ditz; he is fritz.
brown eyes are lop-sided, their glances can be the pits.
watch out! cautions their neighbor, they will bore you to bits.
they showed up one day unexpectedly during a neighboring blitz.
I heard they were parisians, but another told me they are brits.
fritz can do a weird almost-hand-stand, and ditz does the splits.
twits do not put on airs; neither abides by the ritz or any glitz.
they eat bland foods like porridge, oatmeal, and plain grits.
calico cats come to them all the time, presenting them with kits.
their fighting is so common, their eyes are swollen to slits.
fritz likes to knit, so their house is full of junk that he knits.
afghans, scarves, hats, potholders, and unusable oven mitts.
ditz does not wash her hair, so it is full of lice, bugs and nits.
also have zits, and they have performed some really weird skits.
Categories:
ditz, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Monorhyme
Because of a tiny glitch
Inside a wet south side ditch
A minuscule germ, Mitch
Had an incredible itch
His voice had an uphill pitch
With a lilt that was rich
His oldest friend named Fritz
Told me that Mitch was a ditz
Mitch and Fritz fixed up the ditch
It attracted a whacky witch
Whose sense of humor with a stitch
Delighted the deliriously decorated ditch
Categories:
ditz, 10th grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme
First outings (not a date exactly)
someone you’re impressed with.
You trot out your best anecdotes
and venture small confidences.
You have to decide which “you” to show
- the serious-seeming student, the ditz,
the pianist, the Tom Brady fan, the writer.
He does an impression of Tom Hanks
that was very good and very funny.
“It could have been worse,” I said,
but he knew what I meant.
“It’s my party trick,” he said.
I thought of a long ago prom after-party
- a guy removing my pierced earrings with his tongue
which sent chills up my spine and then grinning with pearls in his lips.
We’re here, in the new, the now
but we’re married to memories.
Categories:
ditz, character, how i feel,
Form: Free verse
The Professor settles in and says, “Let’s go around the circle and introduce ourselves”
We listen to resume after resume of unbridled accomplishment. Then he points to me.
“Hi, I’m Anais, I’m a freshman, from Georgia, and I have mad skills. I can b*tch about anything or feign complete indifference. I can give the impression of depth or play the ditz. I can pick the slowest line every time and I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.” I finish and give the professor a head tilted “anything else?” look.
“Uhh,” He gives me an amused look, “thank you Anais,” “Next.”
I’m in an an environment where pretentiousness can run amuck
.
.
PS, I have short stories too. =]
Categories:
ditz, class, community, education, humor,
Form: Free verse
Help me, please, I've lost my mind,
It ran away today.
I don't know how to get it back,
I sure hope its okay.
I've searched and searched to no avail.
Wherever can it be?
I know I had it late last night,
Before I went to sleep.
When I awoke this morning,
I knew something was amiss.
I couldn't think a single thought.
I felt like such a ditz.
My day was filled with chaos,
No decision could I make.
Without my mind I was so lost,
It was more than I could take.
A mind is something you don't want to lose,
I'm telling you it ain't no fun!
Luckily mine came trotting back,
Right after the setting sun.
8/21/19
Categories:
ditz, fun, silly,
Form: Quatrain
If you had a little glitz
You and I could do the splits,
In front of the Hotel Ritz
Did you just call me a ditz?
Come here and put up your mitts.
Do not care if Mom has fits.
Come and show me all your grits.
I will fight you with my wits.
Oh no, do not blame your blitz.
Up to you to do the splits.
Unless you want lots of hits
Meet me at the Hotel Ritz.
Cut me up in little bits?
Witnesses will laugh with spits.
Did you just call me a ditz?
Come here and put up your mitts.
Come on grandma, use your wits.
Kidding truly little ditz.
Cannot make Mom have such fits
And there is no Hotel Ritz
Categories:
ditz, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Monorhyme
I’m like, “Yo!”,
and he’s like, “Woh!”,
and I’m like, “Good to meet,”
and he’s like, “Real neat,”
and I’m like, “Jungle sucks,”
and he’s like, “It’s big bucks,”
and I’m like, “It’s the pits,”
and he’s like, “What a ditz!”,
and I’m like, “Where’s the beer?”,
and he’s like, “Why you here?”,
and I’m like, “I got sent,”
and he’s like, “Excellent!”,
and I’m like, “let’s shoot pool,”
and he’s like, “Way cool,”
and he’s like, “You from Alaska?”,
and I’m like, “Nah – Nebraska”,
and he’s like, “Go Huskers!”,
and I’m like, “No tuskers?”
and he’s like, “Had a cull – food”,
and I’m like, “Radical, dude.”
Categories:
ditz, history,
Form: Couplet
Their are so many triangles in my life,
not one but many, as if he has no wife.
Its the wrong finger where his wedding ring fits,
he lies to all the little ditz.
Its been eight years, I thought he would change,
all he did was rearrange.
He's not my husband, I am his wife,
how long will triangles overcome my life....
Categories:
ditz, lost love, love,
Form: Rhyme