Dairy Cow Poems | Examples

You Might Be from a Small Midwestern Town If

You might be from a small midwestern town
If you know what husking corn means
You might be from Iowa
If your town was full of relatives

You might be from Nebraska
If you have heard the term huskers
You might be from Illinois
If you know a dairy cow from other cows

You might be from a small midwestern town
If your town had a square
You might be from a small town in the Midwest
If you collect money when someone dies
And give it all to the grieving

X-Mas at the Local Saloon

    Porky Pig and Dairy Cow-Moon
        did up X-mas at the local saloon

     Where Olive Oil and Pepe le pew
        had already downed more than a few

     Porky Pig and Cow-Moon
        joined in by singing a tune... 

    But when they courted disaster
        by all getting plastered  

     They were tossed out on their keisters
        ~ and didn’t get sober ‘til almost Easter

Stevens Anger Triggers

Irritated Steven wrote his anger triggers down.
His therapist read them, trying not to frown.
He asked his client to number them now
Number 106 was a fat dairy cow.

Number 214 was bird booby that was blue.
All together there were a thousand and two.
Everything made him mad – paper clips even.
Therapist knew he had a lifetime of work with this guy Steven.

my busy bathtub drain

green snake poked his head out of the bathtub drain
singing Christmas carols off key, singing a loud refrain
i saw a turtle when Cobra slithered down and away
bear stuck his paw through at the end of the day
i am in no hurry to take a warm relaxing bath now
imagining seeing an inverted muddy hoof of dairy cow

hillbillies dairy cow

Hillbillies got a dairy cow and trained it up right
It mooed and bellowed all through the first night
Drank some moonshine and did a crazy petootsie dance.
So silly and funny, the fireflies flitted and flew as if in a trance.

the cow jumped over the moon

The little dog laughed to see such sport
And the dish ran away with the spoon
I stared at grandma as she read to us at court.
Wait! I said, the cow jumped over the moon?

Grandma looked less pleased now.
Yes, a gentle, good-natured dairy cow.
How likely is that? I asked I was not trying to be a snot.
She wanted me to take it playfully, but I could not.

I am studying to be a physicist or geologist you see.
If there is anyone who is scientifically-minded, it is me.
My grandma soon chose nonfiction books and carefully.
Which I understood much better said my cousin Lee.

Is She a Dairy Cow

You ask her she said, giving me a bit of a poke.
I don’t even know her name I said to this brazen folk.
She might not even know the stranger said to me.
She is not red Angus, I said, I think she might be dairy.

The cow was lounging on a bench painted Iowa barn red.
She gave me a look that I could not decipher in my head.
A huge yawn came out of her mouth, and she flicked away a bee.
You are right, she said, I am bovine, a cow, female and truly dairy.

Holly Has Autism

Holly did not communicate with people in a social way.
They interested her in almost no capacity, but cows fascinated her.
She decorated her room with cows, and she studied all their breeds.
This is how her parents learned to communicate with her.

Is this a dairy cow? Holly would scoff at their questions.
That is a Charolais, she would tell them, using her monotone voice.
What color is the Black Angus? She had no tolerance for this.
She did not understand teasing or a sense of humor.

The oldest recorded cow was forty-eight, right?
You know she was, and her name was Big Bertha.
When did she die? Sepember 29th, 1993.
Holly grew up knowing all kinds of facts about cows.

She knew the difference between Belted Galloways
and Wisconsin dairy cows. 
Cows have panoramic vision, she would state matter-of-factly.
They can see almost three-hundred-and-sixty-degrees.

She invented many machines that aided in milking cows.
An improved milking machine with a gentle touch.
And she invented a musical score that helped them relax to milk.
Her genius was well-known in the Midwest, she knew her cows.

Thank You Prometheus

Hercules did not come along for years
Howling of an Olympian beagle 
So nightly Prometheus had his fears
Daily arrival of dreaded eagle

Zeus was enraged that man now had fire
Prometheus knew he would pay the price 
Consequences were daily and dire
Having your liver eaten is not nice

He gave them the skills of metalwork too!
Prometheus had really done it now. 
Angry Zeus now did not know what to do.
Should he have him eaten by dairy cow?

The trickster did us a favor of course.
How else could we now shoe our happy horse?

Kansas Windy Windy Day

It was a typical Kansas windy windy windy windy day
We had been warned, but the idea had swiftly gone away
For we had never lived in this flat sunflowered state before 
So we did not know the wind could blow us out the door.

First our clothes all blew off the line and over the treetop.
We chased them for miles, until we simply had to stop.
Our dog blew by, and so did our cat and our dairy cow.
Kansas winds are something to watch, they are a real wow.

Samuel P Jingo

Samuel P. Jingo was destined to be the king of kings
The color of a skunk or dairy cow, we called him Jings. 
He kept saying he did not mean to pull the sword from the stone.
It was an accident, something he had done, all alone.

The town would not hear of anyone else having the honor.
Although the reindeer wanted the crown, especially Donner.
Jings was worried, and kept saying that he needed a sign.
He is full of integrity and honesty, this cousin of mine.

The day of the coronation God sent cherubs from heaven.
They brought in some treats, some lox, bagels and leaven.
We know you have been selected and by the very best.
They said as they helped Samuel P. Jingo get dressed.

This was the sign my cousin had been waiting for.
He put on that crown and he strutted out the door.
The religious men gave him a speech and a prayer.
I admit that I am thrilled that I could be there.

Hush Little Baby

How many times do I start to quickly and easily reply
To a comment and realize with a humdrum of a sigh
That it has become part of a poem insisting to be let out
So I hurry to a blank page, and throw it down with a shout.

And how many times do I stare at this stuff
And wonder where it has come from, it’s sordid and gruff.
Is there a monster residing inside my pea brain?
One who will not release me until we reach the refrain.

But I am no songwriter, you protest as she takes over your head.
Hush little baby, she says. Commandeers and is bossy with pencil red.
You are irritated beyond reason, but aggressive she is in charge now.
How many of the rest of you have a muse who is a strong dairy cow?

Wagging Tails

Two dogs named "Bow Wow" and "Pow Wow"
Chased after a young dairy cow
Her name was, "Silk"
But gave no milk
'til a Longhorn tickled a sow

We Are In North Dakota

We are in North Dakota, on Highway 94, and we spy Salem Sue
She is standing thirty-eight foot tall, and the sky is relatively blue.
We are thrilled to see her, standing there, in her dairy cow clothes.
She makes us feel optimistic, that things will get better, as everyone knows.

Fargo Theater, ninety-years on March 18th shut temporarily down.
We were disappointed to find this out. It gave us a bit of a frown.
For I had been counting on it but then I spy the badlands up ahead.
Painted in lovely beiges and pinks, they are so poetically wed.

I received a buffalo nickel at gift store, and that made me feel good too.
In North Dakota these pretty souvenirs are generously given to you.
I spy a meadowlark, and remember that this s North Dakota’s state bird.
Drive many miles without seeing another car, seems kind of absurd.

Painted Canyon in Roosevelt’s National Park cannot be missed.
A dainty wild prairie rose gives impression she has been kissed.
Buffalo and cowboys we see  and we happily giddily point out.
Yes North Dakota is the place to be. So consider this my shout out.

Fido

Fido

I took Fido out for a walk
I knew that the neighbours would talk
His ears stood up proud
His breathing was loud
And his teeth were like big lumps of chalk

I bought Fido only last week
From a bloke I met down by the creek
Although he's quite massive
He’s ever so passive
And even with cats he’s quite meek

I tied him up outside a shop
He got in a bit of a strop
He pulled on his rope
The shop couldn’t cope
And collapsed on an off duty cop

I walked Fido down past the school
Why are kids always so cruel
One dunderhead chided
‘That thing should be rided’
You can’t educate a damned fool

We called on the mother in law
He piddled all over her floor
She mopped up her Lino
Said, ‘There’s one thing I know,
A dairy cow couldn’t pee more.’

I left feeling guilty of course
Saying Fido was full of remorse
‘Fido!’ She said,
‘You’ve been misled,’
And, ‘That’s a strange name for a horse.’

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