Curmudgeon Poems


Shallow End Of The Pool

When handed a stuffed pullet
looks like a stunned mullet
should I turn surly
in high dudgeon
please don't bludgeon
this old curmudgeon
and not to be outdone
altho' I am an only son
blame my parents
by all means
as I'm the result
of their poor genes
which run the gamut
of the spectrum
but I don't care one bit
not a jot nor give a sh*t
more politely put
I really couldn't render
a rodent's rectum
Categories: curmudgeon, animal, bird, fun, how
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberCurmudgeon

How, thee, compare?
     ‘Tis hard to know
A sunset then?
    I think not, no.
Categories: curmudgeon, silly,
Form: Light Verse


Curmudgeon

I’ve somehow become a curmudgeon.
Before you pooh-pooh and go judgin,’
Just wait ‘til your age
Hits the outmoded stage
Yet from all you believe you’re not budgin.’

I take note of the way people act
And don’t think that I overreact
When all manners have fled
Leaving, sadly, instead
Those who barrel through life without tact.

All the truths that I’ve harbored for years
Have gone rusty or somehow switched gears
But curmudgeons can growl,
Grumble, bellow or howl
Which feels better than sorrow or tears.
Categories: curmudgeon, how i feel,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberLocal Curmudgeon

A surly old codger in Panama City
Said of the annual tourists "What a pity!"
Groused at the snow birds
With crudest curse words
While chanting a mariner's naughty sea ditty.


Written May 8, 2021
in Panama City Beach, Florida
Categories: curmudgeon, age, beach,
Form: Limerick

The Curmudgeon Boys

Why so often
Do I think
That other guys
Just make a stink?
No matter what
You do or say
They jump on it 
With one big nay
Yet these same folks
With tired jokes
Say nothing really new at all
Waiting for
Their next phone call
Long gone their lives 
Many now
With worn out wives
All once walked tall
Then came age
And then their fall
Now buried rage
Long gone their power
They sit around
And watch the hour
Some now frail
Excitement
Just the daily mail
So God forbid your life is nice
They're sure
To make you pay a price
Categories: curmudgeon, age, anger, feelings, hate,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberBeware of the Curmudgeon On Judson Street

In a dark, dark room this Halloween Night,

     I will seclude myself sans outside light,

          And when kids shout "trick or treat",

               Behind my door I'll retreat,

                    And eat all the Snickers bars just for spite!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Categories: curmudgeon, halloween,
Form: Limerick

Curmudgeon

Knowing why, doesn't make the search go away 
Knowing how, doesn't mean you can stop 
There are alternative ways, different days 
No one gets to stay forever 

There are traps 
There are walls 
People trip and people fall 
and some never get up and walk again 

The world continues to change 
Nothing stays the same 
Tomorrow is not always better 
Bad things happen to good people 
Good things happen to bad 

and no one knows, why the wind blows 
The water rises and why everything must die 
Wishing will not make the pain of life go away
 
Life is, what it is.
Categories: curmudgeon, life,
Form: Blank verse

Curmudgeon

My Resentments are so ill-behaved
By and by- by them enslaved!
Was I made to be depraved,
(Just another Soul to save?)
Afraid to say or hear the Truth,
Cannot bear to see the proof
My life grows cold, alas! I'm old!
Oh, my God! Where went my youth?
Categories: curmudgeon, god, life, slavery, truth,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberHalloween Curmudgeon!

I have no beef with Halloween per se

     Tho' 'tis like a vast guv-mint giveaway

          'Tis a scheme to spread the wealth

               As kids shake me down with stealth

                    I aim to keep socialism at bay

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 4 in John Freeman's "Halloween Limerick" Contest - November 2010
Categories: curmudgeon, funny, holiday, halloween,
Form: Limerick
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