Funny Cowboy Poems | Examples
These Funny Cowboy poems are examples of Cowboy poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Cowboy Funny poems written by international poets.
I bought me a horse from a feller named Clyde,
said, "She’s gentle and sweet, just a joy for to ride."
Well, "Maybe" she was, and maybe she weren't--
the first thing she did was dump me in dirt.
I saddled up hopeful, boots shiny and proud,
"Maybe" just yawned and sat down on the ground.
I pulled, and I pushed, and I pleaded and begged,
but Maybe just blinked and then stomped on my leg.
Now me and ol' Maybe, we're thick as can be--
she naps in the shade, and she bosses on me.
Folks laugh when I ride--I don't mind much, you see--
'cause Maybe's the only girl stubborn as me.
Swimming in the pool was Lou- Lou,
In distress yelled, ”MA! Gotta poo !”
Momma was too late.
So the cowboy, Nate,
stuck in head n'said, “Howdy-DOO!”
There's a trail that takes you everywhere.
Just be patient, that trail will get you there.
Up ahead, there is the town of Everywhere, USA.
When I got there, there was nobody.
I wanted to know where there was action.
So there was nobody to ask.
Nobody said that it's down there in the center of town.
When I got there, there was nothing.
Nothing said that the center of town is up ahead.
He said when I get there, just go right around the corner.
That is where the place action will be.
So there I was.
I finally made it here.
In the center of town, standing by the saloon.
Just Go Right Around the Corner.
There was Action.
Prettiest little thing you've ever seen.
Donkey in the farm, strong hoofs romping
Wonky when you charm, long spoofs hooting
Donkey standing as you stare, shy when you dare
Teeth grinning as you glare, dry when you blare
Sweet and gentle that sire, donkey of your eye
Lifeguard under fire, wise and clean with your lye
There once was a cowboy from Nevada.
He wore a barf bag as a bandana.
When he rode on his horse,
his sickness grew worse,
and his intestines flared with melena.
Appaloosa, Mustang or Paint
Breeds to ride and love, breeds who ain’t
Broken by pain or heartbreak
But show them a rattlesnake
That horse won’t have much self-restraint
Put Your Best (ONE) Limerick Forward (be like Rico Leffanta)
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich
February 21, 2023
An innocent face
Started her journey,
Stealing things
Of very less penny.
Grown up
She had become
An expert ,
To steal very expensive
Heart.
A cow boy.....that's a lot of bull
John G. Lawless
1/28/2021
on our way~to our ranch in town,
galloping horses, sun burnt brown,
a trail of dust greets evening sky,
our hearts are young but love still shy,
on our way to meet girls to date,
shall find me one if luck be fate,
what to say as opening line?
“I love you so, will you be mine?”
or should I ask her for a dance,
may be she will pick with a glance,
should I act macho and aloof,
blow cigar smoke rings at the roof?
nervous slowly we walked in,
sat on a bar stool ordered gin,
as we eased in to ambience,
we looked around for dating chance,
bevy of girls sat across us,
If winked at, will they make a fuss?
soon the music got us on feet,
were moving to rap of drum beat,
laughter, singing echoed around,
kicking feet we made tapping sound,
soon shyness lost love took over,
I kissed her under bell tower!
thirty years since the day we met,
treasured moments hard to forget!
4th placement
Written 20/01/2021
Line Gauthier sponsor
Cowboy poetry contest!
26 lines rhyme aabbccdd....
8 syllables each
The cowboy was ready for a fight
Then realized his pants were to tight
He couldn’t pull out his gun
Turns, then tries to run
Got trampled and lost his eye-sight
Woke up this morning and made you some breakfast.
You didn’t want it, this I could tell.
You walked to the stove and started to smell it,
turned up your nose, and said, "what the hell!"
It's just humble fare like my grandma Edna
used to prepare out west on the plains.
She always swore it was better than dyin'
from the throes of severe hunger pangs.
I know you’re a cowboy from your hat and your buckle
and the way you hang your thumbs from your belt,
but seeing your face all green makes me chuckle
from cowboy vittles that you only smelt
My darling I believed you were the real thing
a genuine cattle hand through and through,
but now I'll have to go back to the saloon
to find another who'll eat possum stew.
11/19/2018
Standing all alone,
at the edge of time.
With no where left to fall,
and no where else to climb.
I feel like I'm standing
back at the end of the line.
Of that soul collecting train
that I missed the very first time.
It don't matter much to me you see,
I'm just going to stand right here and wait.
For that golden train to pull in,
that's taken me to the pearly gates.
When that train pulls out
your going to hear me yell.
As I'm leaving this here place
that is now a man made hell.
Where all the politics and corruption,
of this once great and mighty place.
Turned into need and greed
that just fills me with disgrace.
Now I am far from perfect,
God knows that is true.
But, I'm praying for forgiveness,
and I suggest, that you do too.
So when that train pulls in
to take us from this man made hell.
Grab the seat right next to me
and we can both then yell!
YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAA!!!
Dan Kearley: 3-24-16
it smells like sex in here he said as
he walked into the bedroom
it's time to put some clothes on
we have a busy day
she only has one request
before she can get up
a jack daniels on ice
that's what she needs
to start this thing out right
here are your panties and bra
and what was your name again?
My ol' memory is hazy
And sometimes things don't seem too real;
But I can still recall the night
That I danced at the Wagon Wheel.
Well, seems I was in a good mood
And was puttin' on quite a show;
Prancin' on top of that slick bar
And yellin' like a crazy crow!
I wore my new black Hoppy shirt
And a pair of Gene Autry boots--
They say I danced till 'bout midnight
And did all them ol' cowboy scoots.
Then outside that saloon window
Comin' in was a gent in black;
They said he was that bogey man--
Since that night I never been back.
So ends my honky-tonk story;
Like Red says: "It's saucered and blowed"--
I never danced for drunks again
Like back when I was four years old.
"Hey, lassie, How about going a-mooning? – We two
I like full moon giving wrong ideas at the right times
Feel salty air, sun kissed hair, in this endless summer".
“Oh, just take me there,
party at night, no sleeping
The water flowing,
hot guys there, butterflies here.
My hips do the dips;
my belly has turned to jelly.”
“Hey lassie, try to dance with knees together
Too bad if your knickers are leather
Want to spin? Don’t even try
Or everyone will shout “Oh my, Oh my”
“ Oh, yea, My breasts is at its best,
My back has gone all slack’
My sternum is all bunkum;
My navel is all a-wobble
Ice cream, Bike Rides, Late Night Bashes.”
Surfing, swimming, hear waves crashing
Shopping, driven round town, music loud,
The top is down, days by the pool in the warm breeze.
Later we might have a hoedown in the barn
Let’s gather at the dust time
Maybe some neighbors will play old time music
We will sing and square dance.
+++
October 19, 2014
Form: Free Verse
Third Place Win
Contest: Hoe Down by Shadow
Collaboration by Dr. Ram Mehta and Kanu Mehta. (Not on PS)
Contest: Hoedown by Shadow Hamilton