his life was short lived
no one guessed his secret ways
cocaine the culprit
Ever snorted cocaine?
I watched some partiers snort cocaine last night,
in a dark, Manhattan nightclub corner celebration.
But I’ve never crossed that line. The white line.
When offered some, with unctuous camaraderie,
I shrugged and said, “No, sorry, I’m allergic.”
What are you supposed to say, “Crack is whack,”
or “I prefer my coke with rum and ice?”
The white line. I don’t cross the line.
It’s not the first time, of course, I saw more drugs
in high school than I have at Yale. I’ve mostly seen
“study drugs,” there, like provigil, adderall and alza (concerta).
Do they give students an advantage? I don’t know, maybe.
Call me a boxcut or a squarepants, but my parents are doctors,
and I just don’t cross those lines - those little white lines.
.
.
Webster: Unctuous: “an obvious, fake friendliness”
Slang: ‘boxcut’ ot ‘squarepants’ = a square, a no fun party-pooper
*I use artistic license for colors: for instance, adderall can be a blue, orange or yellow pill.
Choices
When you messed up everything in your life
You messed up your family your kids and your wife
And even after all the damage and pain
she has enough love to take you back again
It was all there waiting just for you
All for you had to do was prove
That you had enough and show you were strong
But you ed that up and got it all wrong
This was your chance to stand out in a crowd
Give something back and make your sons proud
Just another fail
Oh the heart break
you Leave in your trail
Why do you bother why do you try
Your whole life is littered with people who cry
You enter their life and totally destroy
All their love happiness and joy
You are so toxic through to the core
You break their hearts and then go back for more
Like a thief in the night you come and you steal
everything good and everything real
You never give
all you do is take
How many hearts must you break
So many times you had the choices
But you keep on listening to all the wrong voices
How many people have chance after chance
Well you ed it now you’ve had your last dance
Everyone hurts
Your all beat up broken busted
all burnt out no longer a flame
Full of shame pity guilt and blame
But wait is it just you
have you not hurt everyone else too
What of your wife
This was not her ride
Yet you cheated manipulated and lied
Her heart was wide open
She would have done anything for you
Her love was so strong and true
But you trampled and stamped all over that
All what you did you can never take back
What of your children
Your pulse your beat
Your reason for living
The ones you cherish oh so sweet
Yes you did you trampled all over them too
Your some piece of work you
Have you broken them all so much now
That there’s no return no hope no how
There love there pride there trust you smashed
Could you see how they’re lives you trashed
So try if you can to feel there pain
Because sitting in yours there’s nothing to gain
Smile pretty lose your teeth
Brush your hair you ing disease
Cry me a river and lose the rest
Oceans and oceans lack of conquest
No more conquering foreign lands
Little girl for whom do you stand?
Alone? For yourself?
We both know different.
Keep your keys in your pocket and lose the lock to sanity
Lost, alone in the middle of calamity
Sex in the air
The mirror is over there
Don't lose the razor blade
Take a line or bump babe
All your fears will fade
Snort, sniff, lick, anyway you want
Feeling sexy & superhuman
Business for the connection is boomin!
Never been this anxious
Paranoia makes me suspicious
Injection is not suggested
Euphoria is the feeling manifested
Addiction has to be said
It's not a problem if I can't find it
If it comes near me I'll find it
Snort, sniff or lick
Line, bump or rail
Hits the sweet spot without fail
Living fast and loose is a rocky road
Debt piles up in f*ck loads
Where did all that money go?
High as a kite and never felt so low
Powder, snow, coke or blow
By the gram, 8 ball, or kilo
Laying out lines in rows
Always ready to go
This is kinda like an Ode
Self-destruction and no where to go
One minute u r up & next u r down
When u r at ur peak
U can hear every sound
Wisdom isn't what u seak
Ur next fix is what u crave
Family is something u should try to keep
Money is something u should save
Eyes of ur loved ones should never weep
Addiction should be pushed away
Hopefully, it's ur soul that u keep
What does meth smell like?
Imagine a cat urinating on your clothes
Six thousand, three hundred and sixty-two times.
Take this smell, amplify it be ten.
How do you know?
Because I used to teach school
In a county that had the reputation of
Being the “meth capital of the Midwest”.
When a child who lived in this awful smell
Brought in her backpack, we called in the police.
They would go to the house and arrest the
Parents who could no longer smell it.
The kids were usually taken away for a day
Or two, but then everything went back to their
Normal, so we started buying the children new
Backpacks and washing their clothes in our houses.
She was hilarious, funny, perky.
Thrilling, lively, exciting and quirky.
Inspiring, frisky, and delightful.
Aspiring, whimsical, and insightful.
We all wanted to be her until drugs
Embraced her, and she dropped us for bad thugs.
Angry, despondent, living in gloom.
A grotesque shell of soul-sapping doom.
Repressed, smothered inside a self-imposed cave,
Depressed, dour, she met an early grave.
Elementary friends hugging in horror.
Hoping she’ll find relief on a distant shore.
Gallant is a white night.
Deceiving one with delight.
Beckoning with such might.
Obscuring our mind's sight.
Abducting all human rights.
Deluding our true plight.
Creating an endless fight.
Gripping souls so tight.
Distorting our foresight.
Gallant not this white night.
Hell, it will surely you unite.
Strength it takes to fight.
Invited some friends over for the evening last night
Asked if they would like some cocaine to be polite
They jumped at the chance
They got up to dance
Losing all inhibitions, they had trouble staying upright
My arm’s bleeding
Blood dripping on the floor
I’m weeping
I double check if I closed the damn door
My mother thinks I’m sleeping
So, I better start cleaning
I can’t miss a drop, or she’ll start screaming
Oh hell, my arm’s sore
It’s heating
It’s steaming
The cut is so fresh, it’s pleasing
It hurts, but at least… I’m feeling…
I feel I’m healing
Or am I kneeling to the demon
I sit back and start dreaming
Today was a good day!
I got to class and finished my essay
I met my friends and went to a café
All my struggles sailed away
Who the hell am I kidding!
If I’m okay, why is this poem written?
Why am I willing to give up?
Why my mind’s corrupt?
Hell! My arm’s itching
Ugh, I’m just bit-ching!
What the hell I’ll do will these damn wounds?
Will they become obvious scars?
Will people laugh at my tears?
Oh hell, my arm’s bleeding again
Hell, the sheets are stained
I’ll clean this thing
This cut soothed my pain
This cut messed my brain
This cut drove me insane
This cut is… my cocaine.
The 1980's bring me back,
like the song- "I will survive"
The white line crossed my path so much
I'm lucky to still be alive
A decade of some high times
I thank God those years have passed
I'd party like an animal
Those years have gone by fast
Twenty-one through thirty-one
My life was such a mess
I was an addict for ten long years
And that- I do confess
Caught in the loop with- "Some so called, friends
Some "Wasted" high-time years
My oh my, I was so high
On cocaine, smoke, and beers
So, thank you lord for sparing me
and for giving me back my life
I'm now cocaine-free over thirty years
And I have a wonderful wife
a giant eyeball
flashes
'cross the sky
I fly
to its retina
it blinks
I am trapped
my bed
is soaking wet
my libido
dies
I stand
I fall
to my knees
dragging
what is left of me
gazing
at my oppressor as
a giant eyeball
flashes
'cross the sky
Why did she do such a thing
How much pain it brings
It feels like I cant breathe
But she does still love me
And I love her
Though it is hard to
It could be worse
Because now she is free
Skip my heart in a suicidal jump start.
I counted every finger and I counted every toe.
I ran ahead into my life milestone.
I smelled the snow, just so you know.
The moon it dances for my soul,
It goes along my face with intuition.
I said run along to the deadly day,
I did copious amounts of cocaine with no tuition.
Sway my heartbeat into one guitar rhythm.
I want to feel like surge on a caffeine blitz.
Take me out for just a night not brittle,
Where the edge of the insane world spins and sits.
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