chemotherapy
killing some saving others
cancer treatment plan
hoping for the best
visualizing healing cure
cancer strugglers
My partner and I were never prepared,
for what the specialist doctor said,
We hoped the chemo worked but dread,
to tell you that the cancer spread,
Our palative nurse tried to dull the pain,
But time after time it was bad news again,
I just had enough of the pain being raw,
My impulse was to punch the sitting room door,
I needed some space to digest the bad news,
My love of my life I was soon to lose,
How do you deal with such a dialema,
Love will grow strong even when not together.
So the death sentence is lifted
I kicked cancers ass
They found no trace of it with surgery
free of that sh*t at last!
Now it's on to radiation
to become a spiderwoman queen
Not exactly what I want to do
but it erases all traces unseen
Those microscopic morsels
the little single cells
that may have escaped that toxic elixir
as we nuked them all to hell.
And they can find no trace of cancer
past the breast I am clear
And it was a lumpectomy
so I still have the breast, Oh dear!
And yes that heavy burden is lifted
my docs original decree
It was you have a 60 percent chance of being alive
in five years you see
And well I think the odds are now much better
something like 98
And for now at least I don't have to carry
that heavy weight.
It's nice to be back Artimus (C) Susan Manley 10:28AM 1/26/24
POISONS
Boldly betrayed by my body
It came so fast
Poison coursing through my veins,
My Source, my Self,
Frightening and sure, traveling it’s way
Through me,
Out to get me from my Life,
Taking my blood and twisting ugly
Mutations into unfathomable letters,
Indecipherable Latin words,
No longer my lifeblood
But an enemy who has no use for
Life and cleanliness and health
Lauding power over my Will.
Next, an oxymoronic healing poison
Is injected directly into my Source,
Destroying all and everything in its wake
Unable to take into account the
Character of its red and white victims -
Good, bad or indifferent -
It kills without point or prejudice,
Intentional serial murders with
Fragile tentative plans for
Redemption and regrowth,
It tires me with its vehemence.
It is so exhausting is to wake up and have
Nothing but confusion and hope
As catalysts for breathing and taking in
The mysterious days ahead.
So the chemo got the cancer
though I have three more trips to the chair
but for this very moment there is no lump longer there
Its kinda a revelation with the battle going on
but this silly computer game producer
still manages to motor on
I miss the cowboy
He turned out to be a charleton.
But he used to make me laugh and keep me on track
kind of a funny thing
I am now doing pot gummies
just to battle nausea
because despite my best I was at unrest
and it was beginning to take a toll
This war with cancer, sucks I tell you so...
And I have no specific thing I can point to in my ways
that will prevent it from coming back again
So I am on a quest to lower the chances of that
and laying down best practices in my hat
I still have my hair, though the strands are coming out
And surviving I am, despite the fun and games
chemo is surreal, and kinda a big deal
but you can make it out again
Chemo and the side notes Artimus (C) Susan Manley 8:41AM 11/11/2023
The first fluid they drain into you
Has color of wine
And they call it the red-devil
The second glitters like glycerine
And drips like tear
In merciless silence
The matron looks at you
For a while
As if she is gazing at the skyline
Through a window glass
And walks away
Like a cloud in a dream
Halfway to her station
Across the pale marble floor
She turns back and looks at me
As if she wants to tell me
I'm standing in a cemetery
And she is the echo of eulogies
You sleep like a weaned baby
Your eyes move nervously
Underneath closed eyelids
Haunted by ghosts
From the land of dead hairs
I suppose so helplessly
Hand on the rail
head bent
sit in the chair
false cheer.
she turns away
asks for a screen
no company no dialog
chemotherapy
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