It is snowing! It is snowing! It is SNOWING!
Three children I usually have to drag out of bed are heading for the front door.
I say “don’t forget your bookbags! Don’t you want breakfast?”
Mom, it’s SNOWING! Says the middle one. No school. Right?
I begin to laugh. This is Minnesota. We don’t cancel school here.
An abdominable snowman could be eating busloads of kids,
we would not cancel.
An avalanche could bury six cars on the school road.
We would not cancel.
MINNESOTA I remind them.
We used to live in California where they would cancel school for rain.
They begin grumbling, put their pajamas on, and try to feign illness.
Too late, I say. I saw how fast you got dressed and got those sleds out.
I hear grumbling all the way to the bus where other kids are yelling “Snow!”
I’m sure ratepayers everywhere
Are aware of the many dangers
Of the cronyism to be found
At their local Council chambers
They build useless monuments
That will never make a buck
For vanity projects of all kinds
To feed egos run amok
All paid for by the taxpayer
Whilst roads and water are forgot
Common sense does not apply
To spend the rates financial pot
Management consultants say
‘Busloads of tourists will come to see’
But they’ve just made the numbers up
And charged outrageous fees
Ratepayers object but are ignored
We are unsophisticated swine
The council knows much better
How to spend your rates and mine
Behind the scenes you can be sure
Handshake deals are being made
Strings are being pulled
And backhanders being paid
Touted as the next big thing
But a hopeless waste of dough
When it fails the ratepayers cry
…………… ‘I bloody told you so!’
Where’s the beef? The old woman said.
I still see her bulbous nose, parading in my head.
She opens the bun and the hamburger is dinky.
My thoughts about this oldster are incredibly kinky.
Where’s the beef? Was soon printed on white t- shirts.
We were all naming the old lady, us Ethyls and Gerts.
Wendys was bringing people in by the busloads.
I was one of the easily led, coming in on all back roads.
Where’s the beef? Was on billboards against the blue sky.
It brought chuckles a plenty, none of us wondering why.
The old lady with a bulbous nose made us laugh until we were sick.
An advertising executive no doubt got a raise with that gimmick slick.
My friend in Vermont
says she feels responsible
for the lack of foliage: leaves
so tardy to turn for the busloads
of tourists who come for fall
glory. It's the same old story--
we take to ourselves Mother Nature's
abstinence, which isn't hers, but
ours, the fruits of emission, and those
blindfolded to the scarlet and gold
in absentia from the trees. "Il tous le
changements, il tous changements,
il s'agrandit" offer the French,
but not necessarily. Then comes
the freeze, and what doesn't
alter: the triple digit heat
you cannot beat.
My friend in Vermont
says she feel responsible
for the lack of foliage--
leaves so tardy to turn
for the busloads of tourists
who come for fall glory.
Same old story: we take
to ourselves Mother Nature's
abstinence which isn't hers, but ours,
the fruition of emission and
those blindfolded to the golden
and scarlet missing on trees.
Then comes the freeze and what
doesn't alter: the triple
digit heat you cannot beat.
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