Best Tushes Poems
Parents locked in a loving embrace
Mum was wearing pink satin and lace
Making love on the floor
Their kids burst through the door
Just imagine the looks on their face!
Quickly covering bodies and tushes
They bribed the kids to spare their own blushes
Dad put some locks on the door
Just to be doubly sure -
So when entwined they enjoy their crushes
Contest: Entwined
Sponsor: Broken Wings
02-07~16
I'm surrounded
By those that believe
By those who conceive
That one's obsession and possession
Can lead to G-d's affection
I don't question their position
That noncompliance is perdition
To some heaven here on Earth
Stomached by some lord's thick girth
I prefer a tempered vision
One without devout or fission
Something tangible with proof
Compared to magic, faith, aloof
I understand the desperate need
To lean on something beyond their seed
Some large, hypnotic master
To help us all avoid disaster
But then some shooter's flagrant whim
Mows down everyone but Him
How does that compute the feeling
While the corpses finish bleeding
And yet when circumstances perish
By some indignant source that's garish
Leaving us wishing for the force
To lessen fate's corrupt remorse
We bring our hands together
Our forlorn limbs of ash and leather
It doesn't matter how consistent
When the prodigal yell's insistent
I need the fix, I need it now
I don't care who, I don't care how
This leads to redeemers blazing trails
To stores where G-d's love goes on sale
Because when shoves are frail pushes
Who really cares who saves our tushes.
(8/15/15)
We embarked on an adventure
That was quite quixotic
A scientific dream quencher
Searching for exotics
We started where we thought made sense
Out on the sunning docks
Where perhaps there’d be an immense
Native Great White Butt Ox
We packed all of our photo gear
And pursued the best sights
But only found local Striped Rear
Aglow in the moonlight
Before being tempted to browse
We jumped off those boardwalks
Since a Striped Rear cannot arouse
Like a Great White Butt Ox
Experts said to try the shore line
Where they lay out in clumps
Though fauna there with a nice shine
Were only Large Brown Rumps
Well we explored every ocean
Including the boondocks
Though nothing lathered in lotion
Were confirmed White Butt Ox
So then we probed the far back woods
Searching behind bushes
Yet the few things there any good
Were just Texas Tushes
Ah, in Texas everything’s big
So we went there to skirt
Rodeos, dance halls and oil rigs
Out on the bare desert
Where we met on a dusty road
A nice girl named Annie,
And her friend hauling a wide load
Fittingly called Fanny
Then we swore that on other routes
That we saw a Butt Ox
But it was only Fanny’s glutes
Displayed on their long walks
We studied scholarly writings
But were always flummoxed
Since so far there were no sightings
Of A Great White Butt Ox
I said let’s go try city streets
Where I am sure we’ll find
Assorted sized bums spanning seats
That are best seen behind
We investigated the parks
But findings there were sparse
Yet we frequently came across
A sleeping Spotted ****
But then I observed on the grass
Beside a pile of rocks
None other than a true first-class
Native Great White Butt Ox
It was surely of mature age
And of course very rare
And then ably, as if onstage
Strutted its derriere
It was a breathtaking female
That we tagged that autumn
And knew its gender without fail
When we checked her bottom