In Search of a Great White Butt Ox

We embarked on an adventure
That was quite quixotic
A scientific dream quencher
Searching for exotics

We started where we thought made sense
Out on the sunning docks
Where perhaps there’d be an immense
Native Great White Butt Ox

We packed all of our photo gear
And pursued the best sights
But only found local Striped Rear
Aglow in the moonlight

Before being tempted to browse
We jumped off those boardwalks
Since a Striped Rear cannot arouse
Like a Great White Butt Ox

Experts said to try the shore line
Where they lay out in clumps
Though fauna there with a nice shine
Were only Large Brown Rumps

Well we explored every ocean
Including the boondocks
Though nothing lathered in lotion
Were confirmed White Butt Ox

So then we probed the far back woods
Searching behind bushes
Yet the few things there any good
Were just Texas Tushes

Ah, in Texas everything’s big 
So we went there to skirt
Rodeos, dance halls and oil rigs
Out on the bare desert

Where we met on a dusty road
A nice girl named Annie,
And her friend hauling a wide load
Fittingly called Fanny

Then we swore that on other routes
That we saw a Butt Ox
But it was only Fanny’s glutes
Displayed on their long walks

We studied scholarly writings
But were always flummoxed
Since so far there were no sightings
Of A Great White Butt Ox

I said let’s go try city streets
Where I am sure we’ll find
Assorted sized bums spanning seats
That are best seen behind

We investigated the parks
But findings there were sparse
Yet we frequently came across  
A sleeping Spotted ****

But then I observed on the grass
Beside a pile of rocks
None other than a true first-class
Native Great White Butt Ox

It was surely of mature age
And of course very rare
And then ably, as if onstage
Strutted its derriere

It was a breathtaking female
That we tagged that autumn
And knew its gender without fail
When we checked her bottom
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

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Wolf Avatar
September 17, 2023 at 8:08 PM
Well, David. Congratulations. The Holy Grail is all yours. ~ Butt N. Ski
Flood Avatar
September 16, 2023 at 3:03 PM
Ha ha x 25…. Okay, okay… 26. I’m frequently astounded at Soups ‘decency’ rules… Fanny, which in the UK is decidedly rude is fine, apparently, but arse, which in the UK is tantamount to ‘Ass’ is starred out. SHEESH! Boy, am I glad I don’t live in Scunthorpe! Nevertheless… a greatly humorous write
Fisher Avatar
September 18, 2023 at 4:33 PM
Lol, and thanks, and it's not even their *(ass-to-risk)
M  Avatar
September 15, 2023 at 9:55 PM
Love your humour David and loved your poem…..creative and funny!! Debx
Romios Avatar
September 15, 2023 at 7:46 PM
David! You really are in control of imagination, humor and vocabulary that makes for outstanding humor! I did say…outstanding! Thank you for NOT penning low grade sleaze! Poetry Soup should hold every poet to humor like yours. It is adult! But it is not cheap, just to get a laugh! Gratefully, Pangie xx
Allison Avatar
September 15, 2023 at 5:44 PM
ha ha ha this is hiariarse in SO many ways David lol I love it lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Brotherton Avatar
September 15, 2023 at 5:38 PM
Funny stuff my friend. You should have just strolled down my street. I was out working in the yard. Oh wait, that was just a great white butt ox crack.
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