Best Troubleshoot Poems
His wings are most surely singed,
from fires of his many sins.
Yet, they wrap me in a gentleness,
That alludes to his protective prowess.
Beneath his nails, hard workin' dirt,
for angelic robes, a flannel shirt.
Denim jeans and scuffed work boots,
an inherent need to troubleshoot.
His baseball cap is worn and frayed,
but it helps his bent halo to stay,
perched upon his one devil horn,
that's been there, since the day he was born.
True, it's tarnished and still slips at times.
But, it would sure be a crime,
to lose that crooked little boy smile.
Even if just for a little while.
He has a "Don't mess with me" attitude,
that speaks volumes of his fortitude.
He is always there, right by my side.
My love for him, is a mile wide.
I've entrusted him with my life.
So proud to claim that I'm his wife.
My husband is my sinful angel.
Here on earth, he keeps his vigil.
Categories:
troubleshoot, husband, love,
Form:
Rhyme
How could I survive without a computer, only heaven knows!
'Tis a necessary tool for my poetical verse to compose.
Today, the beast went down again, wouldn't you know it,
Just as I received a brilliant revelation so vital to a poet!
My technical aptitude is meager but I did try to reboot.
That was the extent of my expertise regarding a troubleshoot!
I couldn't figure out what else to do so as a last resort,
I called the computer company gurus for technical support!
I was talking with a foreigner, much to my consternation,
So I steeled myself for a challenging technical conversation!
He could be anywhere on that vast continent of Asia;
I later learned he was from the Islands of Malaysia!
I'm sure that in solving computer glitches he does excel,
And he obviously knows the Malaysian lingo very well,
But bless my soul, I hardly understood a word he uttered,
As in fractured English and technical jargon he sputtered!
I'm sure he thought he was talking with a first-rate dunce,
Since he had to repeat his instructions to me more than once!
As frustrating as it is, I reckon I'll have to resign myself,
To pleading for technical support beyond the continental shelf!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Categories:
troubleshoot, computer-internetcomputer,
Form:
Rhyme
This bewildering computer of mine just gives me fits!
I panic when the consarned thing goes on the fritz!
I peruse the baffling manual but that doesn't help me any.
It might as well have been written in Hindustani!
There is no one more computer illiterate than I,
So I must call that guy in India when things go awry!
He patiently checks for spyware and virus infections,
And tests the modem and internet connections.
Today he found no problems during his troubleshoot.
He suggested that I shut down and try to reboot!
As a parting shot he asked if my cursor was working alright;
I reached for the mouse to check - it was nowhere in sight!
At that mortifying discovery I gently hung up the phone.
Consternation reigned - how much more can I condone!
The frayed mouse tail lay there looking so grotesque.
I looked for the mouse on the floor and all about my desk!
Alas, nothing to do but buy another for it to replace.
But wait! Why that Cheshire smile on my pussy cat's face?
"Aha! I think the mystery is solved!" I exclaim to my spouse!
"I think that sneaky scoundrel has swallowed my mouse!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)
Categories:
troubleshoot, computer-internetcomputer, me,
Form:
Rhyme
Looking mighty cute
Dressed in a suit
He was on route
To pick up a loot
Ever so resolute
Arrived at the institute
He thought he heard them call him a cloot
Or maybe it was a galoot
He really wasn’t absolute
These days his hearing is acute
They said he had to wait over by the chute
They had something to compute
Just a problem to troubleshoot
So they had themselves a moot
He thought they meant we don’t give a hoot
Meanwhile after adjusting his boot
He sat and ate both halves of a grapefruit
Then while waiting he played his flute
With his good eye watching things convolute
He too has his moments to be astute
They looked intensely involute
The teller in her jumpsuit was a beaut
The manager a snoot and a brute
He could tell by their salute
They were in cahoot’
Hold’it! Hit the pause or press the mute
His patience growing ever so minute
He could tell there’d been a fraudulent substitute
Persecute Prosecute There’s going to be a lawsuit
Someone’s been tempted by the forbidden fruit
Submitted on December 21, 2018 for contest BUNNY JUMP HONEY LUMP FUNNY CHUMP sponsored by CAREN KRUTSINGER - RANKED 3RD
Originally posted on February 17, 2018
Categories:
troubleshoot, adventure, humorous, silly,
Form:
Monorhyme
can’t seem to shut it down
no strength to stay away
when I try hard to back down
fear of missing out holds sway
FOMO, FOMO, FOMO
keeps driving me insane
try to minimize its hold by
playing silly name games—
FOMO FOMO bo-bomo
Bonana-fanna fo-omo
Fe fi mo-momo
FOMO
started as a simple quirk
too far gone to troubleshoot
I can’t concentrate on work
stalled life needs a hard reboot
FOMO, FOMO, FOMO
keeps driving me insane
try to minimize its hold by
playing silly name games—
FOMO FOMO bo-bomo
Bonana-fanna fo-omo
Fe fi mo-momo
FOMO
got a deadline from my boss
told to get it done by noon
but he'll have to take a loss
FOMO rules and I'm a loon!
FOMO, FOMO, FOMO
keeps driving me insane
try to minimize its hold by
playing silly name games—
FOMO FOMO bo-bomo
Bonana-fanna fo-omo
Fe fi mo-momo
FOMO
need to muster up willpower—
first I better check the app
it will only take a min… hour?
after that I’ll need a nap
Fear of missing out
(I better check the app again …)
Fear of missing out
(I better check the app again …)
Fear of missing out
(I better check the app again …)
Fear of missing out
(I better check the app again …)
Categories:
troubleshoot, anxiety, fear, psychological, social,
Form:
Rhyme
Unaffordable, yet valiant speeding,
tailgating, and zooming Pep Boys, I cannot dodge.
Yours truly grief stricken
(sob... sob... sob)...
wheely hard to bear
this anticipatory anxiety
riddled joker impossible
mission thwarting despair
death knell tolled (told),
woebegone news, I did fear
hears stunned me into silence,
the unwelcome prognosis,
I needed to hear
no joke, but good humor
totally wrecked vehicle forces
yours truly to become...,
no not a lion tamer
but, yes a panhandling junketeer
begging, copping, dilly dallying... ha
to accept unpleasant
unexpected dire straits
gravely digging within lithosphere
bidding... fare thee well
treasured automobile faithful and near
synonymous with ideal paramour, yet now
must confront stark reality,
lack ample disposable income available
no financial resources to persevere,
and worse case scenario me
and the missus will need to don
faux Santa Claus outfit,
and roundup available reindeer
for ourselves (yea... yea... yea...,
I realize how spare
and tired, pessimistic,
forlorn success such short notice
unless if... nah no fat or slim chance...
apocalypse ushers abominable thermonuclear
war, (I doubt Trump would
pull publicity stunt
to be re elected - ha) whereby
Beatle browed, foo fighting
foreigners, survivors impressed, feted,
compensated... for service
unless they willingly volunteer.
Combination future pluperfect
birthday presents and Noel hi
Christmas gifts well nigh,
noah ark cake "FAKE" attempt,
to hoodwink, engine ear,
trunk hate, et cetera
drum, harp, trumpet... belie
including objective to shanghai,
nor fall out of good amazing graces
toward (me) garden variety generic guy
providing steadfast generous
figurative air supply to fortify,
revving me shaky talent,
ye may oft times decry
as unintelligible gobbledygook
brainstorming ideas to try
single handedly ambidextrously
poetically kindle indeed codify
to elucidate how transportation
car reared and gone awry
moderate expenses as original parts wear out,
(i.e. battery, fender, brakes,
hood latch, shock absorber, tires...
albeit almost all simultaneously), hence I sigh
aware expounding circumstance that doth defy
immediate resolution incumbent to pacify
troubleshoot immediate impasse
squarely render quintessence
problem solving the overriding
challenge, I vilify.
Categories:
troubleshoot, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
I've plugged it in
And turned it on
Checked the cable
Won't take long
Allowed access
Downloaded files
Installed drivers
Wait quite a while
Clicked the links
Agreed to terms
Ticked the boxes
Start to squirm
Updated versions
Tried other ports
Looked at Google
Had grumpy thoughts
Changed the settings
Tried troubleshoot
Turned it off
Done a reboot
But the printer still won't print.....
Next day, try again
To get the gist
See straight away
The link I missed
Categories:
troubleshoot, computer, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Verizon router won't connect to internet blues
(alternately titled: ma bell heave hubble
telecommunications gone south).
Best sung courtesy rotten dull liver:red worst
after words which, I gotta quench mine thirst
whereby think Botox lips zipped and pursed
hence impossible linkedin mission Mary Jane
and Buster Brown kisser darn it result socked
hermetically resigned, resealed and cursed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Atheistic credo fuels (fossil)
jeremiad ordaining undevout
finds me cybersurfing phishing
for poetic effort to tout
March sixth tooth house sand twenty two
presents reasonable rhyming lit writ scout
herewith risk averse longfellow
on his figurative er... route
along information superhighway.
Netizen (generic and garden variety) Cain
not, nor able to don virtualtourist Lausanne
guise, nor Kiev hen twitter among Ukraine
literati earlier today (aforementioned date)
afflicting me courtesy GMO webbed strain
iambic phantom metered node hissing drain
analogous to evaporating Lake Pontchartrain.
Cuz unwitting byte size complicit accessory ghost
haunts micro electronic components machine most
culpable, feasible, n invisible Internet Protocol host
laryngeal mucous phlegm wreaks (think) burnt toast
esophageal acid reflux analogous metaphor, I post
downplaying feeling any reason to rhyme or boast
spun words masterly sharecropped along east coast.
CHORUS:
verse one:
Now, I gotta cure dem rascally misbehavin
data packets between computer blues,
cuz internet fixation yaw truly craven
lobbying scattershot spewing colorful hell raisin
lingo (awk curse) strung expletive epithets
extraordinary Luddite across cyberspace will lose.
verse two:
Hence dial up local kindergartner to troubleshoot
while he/she whistles Mozart's The Magic Flute
or visit nearest zoo to hire nasty, and shortish brute
critical electronic hardware, cuz aye got absolute
zero ability and even less legal tender slangy loot
thus Internet loper feel handicapped as deaf mute
unable to hear auld Donald trumpeting slo vac toot.
Categories:
troubleshoot, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Technological glitch with EBT (i.e.) food card...
at LIDL checkout line
At 4:03 PM on November first
two thousand and twenty,
the missus nsync with yours truly,
(an inimitable average Joe - cur -
biden his time at Royersford, Pennsylvania
LIDL food market)
unexpectedly witnessed cashier
manning checkout aisle number two
to experience technological glitch,
which checkout person patiently,
thru various and sundry attempts
tried to nab ghost in the machine
invariably found register
to display DECLINE
despite one after another
dogged trial and error
deliberately entering $25.79,
the balance remaining
after ALDI purchases rung up today
at 15:27 (military time),
said unnamed cashier
tried his darnedest
to troubleshoot snafu,
while yours truly nonchalantly reports
my superhuman xray vision,
easily observed undetected
immense cerebral activity
silently and soundlessly
appraising amazing faculty
boring him with mine
invisible telescopic quasi proboscis
vicariously discerning himself
he finally managed
to surmount (figuratively)
mind boggling daunting challenge
applying cumulative technical acumen
at long gave last mental
herculean heave ho
to resolve quandary
(after much time elapsed)
subsequently I made mental note
to notify management
first thing in the morning
designating said individual
as (at the least) employee of week award.
Categories:
troubleshoot, adventure, appreciation, conflict, food,
Form:
Free verse
Rather than contact tech savvy Macbook Pro technician
Computer technology a dog send
boot also a source of woe,
cuz prohibitive costs charged by technicians
to troubleshoot Macbook Pro
just recently sought out
self teaching methodology
perhaps oddly enough
even tapping into pantomime lessons
(mastering "art of silence"
such as the estimable Marcel Marceau)
found yours truly accessing youtube videos
replaying tutorial(s) until I experience
cognitive understanding like ya know
geared for the common
government issued Jane or Joe,
whereby I would not need
to dish out plate fulls of dough
to help improve functionality of said laptop
subsequently kudos to crow
perhaps acquiring understanding
to acquire knowledge
and subsequently purchase a bungalow.
Rather than succumb
to frustration or angst and allay
premature ejaculations of anxiety
(telling myself Rome
didn't get burned in a day),
I must constantly stave off dismay
allowing, enabling, and providing
yours truly (me) to learn
and not drive analogous
to crash test dummy
(potential dire straits mindset
of foo fighting beastie boy
incompatible with central
processing unit of mine
in tandem with heat sink)
need be synchronized
regarding adjusting learning curve
aligned with pinpointing apropos
online lesson plan
amidst plethora of youtube videos
constituting information super freeway
so as not to career
into zone of discouragement
pacing mastering concepts
without feeling rushed
to make headway
lest rage against the machine
or worse yet inveigh
against accursed limited aptitude
heredity decreed, though still smarting
courtesy poor academic track record
I decry still struggling
and most likely will forever hold contempt
toward Matthew Scott Harris
experiencing horrible education
within Lower Providence school district
such maddening sentiments maintained
until mein kampf finds unnamed mortal
on his deathbed, where head doth lay.
Categories:
troubleshoot, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
These days, actors and singers serve my catapult mayhem,
sometimes they are catalyst too!
I sing in between their lines of songs
their churned up recorded whims, hums, and candid cataracts!
And some days, whence things get screwed up
about a random psychotic feed back ,on a laminated free verse!
A day care and a festive color season!
Once small pox diagnosed ,
they let the sick baby get a safe mode, in an arranged detour reason, instead.
For a submission and a genuine submittal try!
On a humorous cover page , it calms down the wildest underneath rage, outcry!
Everything is clouded, intranet, inter too!
Nonetheless, a Fine arts diploma travels to the farthest east and swings to west,
they surely do!
To and fro round trip with a lonely estranged,
to Alaka and the random Parthenon
to cuddle Athena to wrap the scar, very own
before applying to have a trip to scar benign
Certainly,
We knew the translators' sage first,
Before originals tried to happen there, in a diaspora or wanderlust.
Please allow me a reason to try, anyway , anymore
before, they even try to be happy , at least mock or greet
and then eventually, troubleshoot for the love story ever after, special treat!
I am sorry, Joanna, on behalf of the survey-monkey!
You know me now. And the poem from the day care of Maxim Gorky!
Categories:
troubleshoot, graduation,
Form:
Free verse
To Royal Prince George and Royal Princess Charlotte
How to save a Royal etiquette explainable when loyal rumination is not?
In a supplicating interlocking prayer
I witnessed so many times , simplicity
Ode to divinity.
After all those are left, one by one
after asking me, "What we may do, for a room-u?"
I remained silent, as God speaks in hands, often.
We, muslims, supplicate with concave hands, and through yearning
Once the interlocking prayers are accepted we all will go "Home"
Even beyond homeland security
MFA class in PM time, that often in competition with God
Godsay and God say are in "issueroom" for a "room-u" reason.
To troubleshoot you need an origin, method and mannerism that piled up, through all these years, as cumulous clouds clutter and declutter, in a poem, "The stranger", or a magnum "The stranger,"
If I see them ever again, back in my life
I will ask a policeman to have a wishful sleep
so that the acro climbs up the royal Tajweed
The Boldest and True.
And so on...
1-19-2024
Categories:
troubleshoot, baptism,
Form:
Prose Poetry
I said ,"I love you ,"
He asked ," How so?"
I said," I troubleshoot and brainstorm there,
Where you are truly guiding me to lead a way
To clean the silence
Not to silence the clean."
He said, "I live there
pay my rent
Monthly utilities too!
Sometimes audible
Sometimes dusable."
I asked, "There?
You mean... There?
Do they have golden hair
Or heir, there?"
He shrugged,
"Just in June, sing soon!"
September 2024
Categories:
troubleshoot, arabic,
Form:
Didactic