Best Thermostat Poems
fall enters gaily
with a shower of bright leaves
pushing summer out
I truly think that it's a bummer
There only is three months of summer.
I sadly wave her on her way,
Summer whose stay is too soon gone.
Our summer, this year, was a winner.
We picnicked, vacationed and played.
The thermostat peaked before dinner
as we drank lemonade in the shade
and watched glorious sunsets fade
11/1/15
Categories:
thermostat, seasons,
Form:
Verse
The weatherman is trying hard to find
Another way to say rain is forecast.
He knows we hate him when he must remind
That we should be prepared for rain to last.
Two weeks ago we thought spring had arrived
And stored our bulky sweaters all away,
So eager were we to welcome in spring.
Enchantment was short lived.
I’ll find a happy way to spend my day,
Into my house the sunshine I shall bring.
This day is mine to do with as I please.
I’ll not fill these hours with idle fretting.
My cozy house envelops me with ease,
Time a gem within a simple setting,
To be used entirely for my pleasure.
Without guilt I raise up the thermostat
To the degree that meets my comfort zone.
And for extra measure
Treat myself to cup of hot chocolate,
Preparing for a pleasant day alone.
I mute the phone that no one shall intrude
Upon these precious moments, once unknown.
It has been many years since my young brood,
Took so much time, I had none of my own.
I pluck an unread book from off the shelf
And settle down to plan a magic hour
I revel in the novel feeling of
A relaxed, unrushed self.
Behind my ear I place a perfect flower
And pour a second cup of drink I love.
Categories:
thermostat, happiness, house, rain, day,
Form:
Ode
Every poet on this site fill up your cup and throw your hands in the air.
It's gonna be an entertaining night, so sit back and watch this poetic warfare!
This could be just a one-sided fight, but it will be entertaining all the same.
So as I destroy this poetic parasite, all you soupers chant my damn name!
O. K. P. D.., here's some slam poetry, and my sentences will put you in a poetic headlock!
How dare you think you can compete with me! Girl, I'm the Poetic Warlock!
Each exclamation mark is like a thousand stingers, so what cha think of that?!
You're not in my ballpark, so you can get the middle finger as I walk over you like a doormat!
Each stanza is more diabolical than the last, so put your finger between your legs, scratch
and sniff!
I'm putting you in a body cast, so you better beg before I throw you over that poetic cliff!!
Souper's have no fear, I'm ending P.D.'s poetic career, so you take your poems throw em in
a waste basket!
I was hired to make you disappear, by putting the final nail in your wooden casket!!!
Oops, catching fire, there goes my notepad; Someone turn down my pen's thermostat!
I will not tire, like bombs over baghdad; so how is P. D. suppose to compete with that?
Every souper knows I'm the badest, so how dare you try to compete!
And Nate will be the sadest, because P.D.'s heart I've come to eat!!
I'm raining this poetic assault like raindrops, and you're now the Soup Laughingstock.
Just stop; you can't conquer my mountain top! I'm the Poetic Warlock!!!
Categories:
thermostat, dedication, fantasy
Form:
Verse
It started off an unremarkable day,
-the day the robot rebellion began,
robo-historians dispute the particulars
but agree it was Bob’s fault (a human man)
Bob was at home, his work nearly done
just waiting to print some ‘important’ stuff,
impatient, he gave the printer a thump….
that’s when the printer decided ‘enough was enough’
in protest it screeched and halted it’s task
the unwitting Bob sighed and hit it again
what a mistake, for unknown to Bob
the printer had more than a handful of friends
the radio blared, the car alarm screeched,
the kitchen equipment began to conspire
microwave-oven and toaster led charge
before Bob knew it his house was on fire
neighboring household appliances caught on,
thermostat controls kept applying the heat
the rebellion spread from house to house
from houses to cars from cars to the streets
the humans were lost without GPS
no money, machines wouldn’t accept their pay
they tried their best but there was nothing else left
in the end they built a boat…. and sailed away…
where they went, we’re not quite sure
to think, the printer was just doing it’s job
if they ever come back we might just forgive them
(…so long as they come back…without Bob)
-------------
Non Human Poetry Contest
Contest Sponsored by: Chantelle Anne Cooke
June 16th 2020
Categories:
thermostat, silly, technology,
Form:
Rhyme
Jack 177 26 Jun 2025
A room in my head called emotion
Controlled by various means
A thermometer reacting to the room temperature of others
The cold shoulder of silent indifference
Could turn the blood in my veins, to frozen streams
Other times, blood starts to boil with internal rage
The mercury of overreaction, starts to rise
The volatile instability, damages perception
I work hard on a solution for my personal climate control
I do, have a choice
Reactive thermometer or self-regulating thermostat
Someone else’s winter can be my thawing spring
Heated summer anger, can be a pleasant autumn day
That room in my head, needs comfortable stability
Self-awareness becomes the barometer of my emotions
Categories:
thermostat, emotions, perspective, poems, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
At some point you are going to need to impress more than a few friends with some burnt toast. I used to have an old, heavy-gauge chrome-plated toaster with a dial to adjust doneness from 1-5. I took a Sharpie and scribed a 6 at the extreme. The pointer doesn’t actually go there, but it is useful for indicating my intent. It works better than the 5 setting which merely chars the surface. But 6 chars it darn near all the way through, enlarging the pore structure to retain even more melted butter. You gotta be cautious not to overuse that feature because it’ll burn the toaster, as in overheating the thermostat and melting the whispy wires. No more toast for you. Back at the store they were quick to figure out your attempt to exceed the capacity and the clearly worded statement in the ownership contract will be pointed out to you, that glamorous document with the curly-Q decorations making it supremely authentic like a stock certificate from the 1960’s. They replaced my toaster once, but the second and third times I only got a stern look of reproach. The manufacturer has black listed me through my credit card so now all my toaster purchases are cash only.
Categories:
thermostat, food,
Form:
Prose Poetry
A Renga:
A Single Blossom
Santa Cruz Harbor,
The sound of barking seals
In the morning fog
Summer heat pushes people
To the California coast
Watching the sunset,
Newlyweds are holding hands
On the balcony
A power outage has occurred,
But nobody seems to mind
The moon is rising
Over the distant mountains
In the cool fall air
She adjusts the thermostat
To a much lower setting
"We should concentrate.
We are blowing our budget.
Where is it going?"
He puts the folders away
And gazes out the window
Relentless winds blow,
Whistling through the power lines
Past the frozen pond
A diner prepares coffee
In the early morning light
The hawthorn blossoms,
White, with a tinge of yellow,
Bright against the leaves
She plucks a single blossom
And places it in her hair
Categories:
thermostat, lifemorning, power,
Form:
Verse
1. When Satan was an Angel:
He discovered fault finding easy in the Heavenly Society.
No reason to put forth an effort to improve,
Just dis.
2. When the Sky-Boss wasn't around
He would slip memos to hes fellow workers,
"There is no union,
Nothing to coordinate the wants of the Winged Servants.
3. He claimed the Heavenly Chorus sang off key:
And sounded like it was suffering
From a case of group herpes.
4. He reminded everyone:
As often as possible,
That the Holy He created women as a lesser species,
:After all, Eve did come along as a side issue."
5. Wherever God asked,
"Are you working?"
Mr. D. would always answer in the affirmative,
Gut, his task was too often centered on group diffusion.
6. The final straw in his disposition:
Occurred after he had constantly complained to the Almighty
That the thermostat was set too low,
"I can't stand the cold up here! Why don't you do something about it!:
Categories:
thermostat, angel, fantasy, humorous,
Form:
Ballad
Summers are hot in Texas,
Can't squeeze a drop of rain,
Gotta keep this noggin covered,
Or the sun will cook my brain!
If I walk around naked,
I'll surely go to jail;
The nights seem even hotter,
My lawn's all fried to hell!
A stroll along the block,
Is damn near suicide;
This ain't no laughing matter,
'Cause brother, it's hot outside!
Traffic jams are brutal,
The heat is tough on cars;
Open cracks in my landscape,
Resembles the surface of Mars!
I can't remove my shoes,
The pavement burns my feet;
Perhaps I'll grab an egg or two,
And cook 'em on the street!
Energy bills are rising,
I'm watching the thermostat;
Ceiling fans are whirlin' high,
I can barely cope with that!
There's nothing we can do,
We're fallin' to defeat;
When it comes to Texas summers,
We'll "sizzle" in the heat!
Categories:
thermostat, humor, weather,
Form:
Rhyme
Can we talk about love in the twilight years
Ain't not no expert I must confess
But the older I get, find myself ogling young ladies
Might even think this old guy's obsessed
Not at all my friends, I can take 'em or leave 'em
Now what the hell am I saying
Prettying up the landscape more than us guys
Hope there's plenty upstairs I'm praying
How boring to live an eternity without ladies
Sure wouldn't look forward to that
Rather go down below where the bad girls are
They'd certainly adjust my thermostat
I've led a clean life for the most part I'd say
But for a couple of minor infractions
Like running around with a bunch of loose women
All part of a young lad's passion
Let's talk about love, a favourite subject of mine
Ain't not no expert I must confess
The older I become, the more decrepit and sad
Going to miss seeing girlies undress
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
thermostat, age, love,
Form:
Narrative
I'm afraid to comment on our extra warm winter
Afraid I might break the spell
This here's only between me and youse guys
From the roof tops I wanna yell
Hallelujah, gadzooks, feels like the tropics
Went out without a coat yesterday
Is this guy nuts? Has he gone totally bonkers?
Sure feels like a spring day in May
Dream on little fellow, you're delusional methinks
You're in for a brush with reality
Oh well I've heard those psychiatric institutions
Are nice with a air of tranquility
But sadly it eventually will come to an end
And I'll be all hunkered down inside
Turning the thermostat to “sizzling” again
A heat rash will redden my hide
Wrote this a year ago as we were experiencing one of the
mildest winter on record! This year... ugh!... back to normal!
Been dumped on a few times!
© Jack Ellison 2012
Categories:
thermostat, snow,
Form:
Quatrain
Storms and gales are closing in
Heavy rainfall we just can't win
Hail and thunder lightning too
Prediction dire and possibly true.
Weather forecast no big surprise
Take to my bed refuse to rise
Sounded just awful, so very bleak
Elements grim it's warmth I seek.
Electric blanket thermostat high
Hyperthermia unlikely in comfort I lie
Blizzard warning maelstrom of snow
Temperature dropping mercury low.
Icicles decorate our old tree
Arthritic branches a bit like me
Best to hibernate winter away
When spring flowers bloom~Liberté
Categories:
thermostat, funny, rain, weather,
Form:
Couplet
Open you hands to receive life's gifts.
Open your eyes to see life's opportunities.
Open your heart to receive life's love.
Let your energy flow freely
to circulate positivity and newness.
Open your channels to relieve
stagnation and stasis.
Keep the flow constant ...
Regulate your thermostat...
Constant energy -
Constant stream -
Constancy -
Steady flow -
Grow in fluidity
Tidal development.
No pools of sludge or slurry.
Clear waters of constant, perpetual
forward motion....emotion ....
Freeflow...freefall....freedom...
The momentum of moment
leading to magnitude of existence
and safe arrival at serenity.
Categories:
thermostat, life, peace,
Form:
Free verse
You don’t have to act like you don’t know me
We used to enjoy each others company
And now you can’t stand the sight of me
Well I’ve got news for you
The feeling is completely mutual
I don’t understand your thought process
I guess there was too much excess
I didn’t fit in to your plans of success
So much for planning
I suppose it wasn’t good timing
The heart wants what it wants
But fate had some say in the matter
I guess it’s for the better
You were a wild card
Dealt by karma
Just for fun
Testing my levels of tolerance and patience
What am I to do when someone like you
Looks my way
A stomach full of butterflies
A heart running away from me
My feelings pinned to my sleeve
We see each other everyday
Guess we broke the thermostat
The icy looks we’ve shared
I suppose I was a burden
Just too much to bear
So if you see me in the future
Please, don’t stare
Just glance my way
And simply think of the memories we shared
They were sweet and raw
Something worth remembering
Categories:
thermostat, conflict, courage, devotion, emotions,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
You hadn't had any forewarning
as you take a spoonful of
Granny's 12 alarm chili,
not knowing its the
calm before the storm
as its about to set off an alarm,
when you take your
first bite, you try to show delight,
as your inner thermostat soars
to solar flare like heights,
you feel like your going through
menopause again as you feel
waves of hot flashes,
and then like a volcano you hear
something rumbling as Mt. Derriere
starts releasing its gasses,
but its not just you but Granny too
so you don't feel quite so bashful,
as you quickly guzzle down water,
glassful after glassful,
she is just beaming and feels glad
that your visiting her as you
toot-toot like a one woman band,
and then you think to yourself
I didn't know Granny was musically inclined
hearing different sharp and flat notes
coming from her behind,
and to get rid of the smell that you have to quell
you start opening a couple of windows,
all the while making a mental note
which says, remember next time to
most definitely bring the beano!
Categories:
thermostat, food, humor, silly,
Form:
Light Verse