Granny's 12 Alarm Chili
You hadn't had any forewarning
as you take a spoonful of
Granny's 12 alarm chili,
not knowing its the
calm before the storm
as its about to set off an alarm,
when you take your
first bite, you try to show delight,
as your inner thermostat soars
to solar flare like heights,
you feel like your going through
menopause again as you feel
waves of hot flashes,
and then like a volcano you hear
something rumbling as Mt. Derriere
starts releasing its gasses,
but its not just you but Granny too
so you don't feel quite so bashful,
as you quickly guzzle down water,
glassful after glassful,
she is just beaming and feels glad
that your visiting her as you
toot-toot like a one woman band,
and then you think to yourself
I didn't know Granny was musically inclined
hearing different sharp and flat notes
coming from her behind,
and to get rid of the smell that you have to quell
you start opening a couple of windows,
all the while making a mental note
which says, remember next time to
most definitely bring the beano!
Copyright © Cheryl Hoffman | Year Posted 2016
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