Best Tailpipe Poems

As just-hitched kids, we drove 
a Model T Ford with a crank 
for the engine, and a running 
board.  My big brother sold us 
his old carriage as a first car for 
a brand new marriage. Never mind 
it was his hunting car, repainted
and...

Continue reading...

The very first automobile that I ever owned,
Was a 1937 Ford sedan that was many times preowned!
I bought it when I was a junior in high school as I recall.
It would do about 55 miles per hour with the pedal to the wall!

I paid two...

Continue reading...

A father went to clean his car,
All covered up in snow.
For company, he had his son,
Eleven years, in tow.

The temperature was freezing
So the dad thought he should sit
Inside the toasty car
To warm himself a little bit.

The engine hummed, the father dug,
But little did they know
The...

Continue reading...

Tessa's Thighs
Hey Tessa babe come and kill me with your sexy oversize thighs! The CIA is after you. Reason: your oversize thighs! I see you in your cut down jeans. So awesomely fecking sexy. 

See the curve of your tailpipe where there's no material, your...

Continue reading...

litter of leaves by the side of the road,
yellowing paper, soggy with last night’s
beer, spilled from a bottle thrown
from a car and smashed in the gutter.
dead something-or-other, maybe a mouse,
lies just outside of my car in the road.
gaze straight ahead, to the beat-up 
white Chevy,...

Continue reading...

(This is a fictional poem)

A man fell in love with his brand new Rolls-Royce.
But he soon made a very bad choice.
He thought kissing a car would be the same as kissing a woman but he soon 
learned it was not.
He french kissed the tailpipe right...

Continue reading...

The lazy consciences
of the long yawn, credulity class
work so hard
to be an American Idle

“Care less” is their toga motto

You gotta have Roman candle aspiration
Pleb effigy be the 
burning goal of a finger-twiddling nation

Fiddle sticks 
always ignite quicker
than straw bricks

Nero fire staff tempo
got slow bellies 
working...

Continue reading...

chill to take my breath away
the tailpipe streamers
this day trip must take place

a cozy talk
heater on sun-strength
Dad bundled up

dust, sweep, mop
clean and sanitize
drop and talk

olives stabbed
martini sipped
Dad dips
his glass
to Mom’s ashes

preheat air fryer
flipping burgers

preheat oven
turning frozen fries

drop and talk
my Dad’s alive

this day trip must end
with...

Continue reading...

hey, everybody, this is old Billy Bob, here
over there in them cute Billy Jeans
well, I just woke up this morning
and looked up towards the sky blue mirror
meanwhile, down the road, 
I see an image of old gray-haired Billy goat
just chewing on some maple oats and...

Continue reading...

you tell me that I need blue jeans
cause the tailpipe gets so hot
you say I need to wear leather boots
in case we should go down
you slather me with sunscreen
to protect me from wind and sun
you tighten the strap on my helmet
to make sure it stays...

Continue reading...

I used to get mistletoe 
Each and every year
Lost the man who brought to me
But I knew it had to be near.

Load up the kids
In an ugly old van
Chains, food, and blankets
Who needs a man?

We head to the California mountains
Not knowing where to go
Next thing…
The...

Continue reading...

On April seventh there'll be an anniversary.
Not one in which we celebrate with balloons or confetti...
sweet cakes, songs or garish parades.

It will be 6 serrated months, since terrorist raped Mother Israel.
Sprayed the olive groves with her blood.
Six months since they raked a couple hundred innocents...
to...

Continue reading...

By Chad Carlson

Today I looked at my life in rewind
Found the good in mostly bad times
Smiled a lot and even laughed a little
Until I got to the part in the middle
So much pain in the decade of my 20's
Left me a shell of myself lost...

Continue reading...

Well here we see that something is hot? About as real as
As the (tailpipe an e v's got?) The subject matter is what
You have got.' Either man or woman? Is what i consider?
And whether what is not.' Is what?  And why are some termed...

Continue reading...