Best Swiper Poems
Gave Mr. Bro’ man a couple of dollars,
with a frown gave he a backhand holla
Said my alms were light,
and my palms were tight
Man, how I hate ingrate red stop collars!
Star Sprayer
Twinkler
Sprinkler
Cleaning Freak
Hyper
Wiper
Flautist Pickpocket
Piper
Swiper
Complaining Hitman
Griper
Sniper
Test for Savant Autism
Rain Man
Brain Scan
Not Heard in France
Thank 'ee
Yankee
Capitalist Jerk
Wanker
Banker
Oct. 21, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest
Swiper goes to the drug store of a nearby town.
Purchases ear muffs, staff, nun chakas,
and duct tape for Dora's mouth...
I am hiding in my bedroom, scared to death because my pajamas are not new.
I dare not put down my soup bowl because Bowl Licker will grab it up for stew.
I can feel him hiding under my bed, ready to grab it so I keep it beside me.
Christmas is scary, for I expect to see Christmas Cat under the tree.
Father Christmases, I say, in my most apologetic voice, hoping they all hear.
I can feel your presence, and apologize I could not get new pajamas this year.
I can hear Sausage-Swiper in the rafters, and he is free to eat all of my meat.
But keep Gryla away from us if you could, for I have had naughty little feet.
I can hear Stubby and Spoon Licker in the kitchen, slurping on our food.
They are teasing and laughing, truly in a funny Icelandic hilarious mood.
Gluggagaegir is at the window, peeping at me to open it up; he has a pup.
I dive under grandma’s homemade quilt, and cover my whole body up.
Christmas in other places might be happy, exciting, and a little bit tame.
In Iceland, we have thirteen Yule lads. Each has his own specialty fame.
If we are good, we can get candy from Skyr-Gobbler and his brothers.
But if we are bad, we can get boiled alive by Gryla. Just ask our mothers.
Under the dark skies wanders the black cats
Ghost and goblins with candy sacks
Pumpkins with fangs or droopy frowns
A princess with a wand wearing a beautiful gown
Yellow lights and tomb stones
Ghostly sounds and shrieking moans
Cheerleader a zombie and a punk rocker
Frankenstein a mummy and the night stalker
Sponge bob blues clues and mickey mouse
Unicorns butterflies traveling house to house
Scarecrow witches Winnie the poo
Robin-hood Donald duck tiger to
Walkways lit up from the street light
Showing costumes on a brisk Halloween night
Chocolate bars chips and candy rockets
Children filling bags pumpkins and pockets
We see Dora the explorer swiper to
Bob the builder and Oh My What Are You
Pop peanut's popcorn and more
Halloween is a time for going door to door
Postman Pat and Fireman Sam,
Ballamory and Desperate Dan,
Thomas the Tank and Winnie the Pooh.
Hours of fun that entertain you.
Bob the Builder and Rolly Mo,
Rosie and Jim as they come and go
Georgie Shrinks and Tigger too.
These are the favourites that entertain you.
Little Red Tractor and Fifi Flower,
Dora the Explorer and the Troll that glowers,
Swiper the Fox and Lions in a zoo.
These are the things that entertain you.
She yawns between blowing kisses
Dora catches
Her now clear blue eyes
She rubbed the sleepies out
She yells "Swiper, no swiping."
And is glad to help prevent a close call
"Tweet, tweet"
She listens for the sound of the baby bird
She sits in miniature next to a woman of a certain age
Care takers come in all shapes and sizes
Naptime is just another episode or two away
She allows the sleepies to cloud her eyes
I was drifting off to dreamland, so my senses were deadened a bit
When a piper full of magic entered the forest for a tiny sit.
He took out a flute and began enticing flying things to come by.
Glistening, gleaming and sparkling, I opened my eyes with a sigh.
They were faeries, pixies, flying miniatures, sweet little creatures.
I noticed them vanish, disappear, dissolve, like Saturday movie features.
For they had seen me, when I had opened my eyes to see them.
A malevolent inky look came from the piper now; his eyes slim.
Lanky and lean, he looked at me as if I were corpulent and foul.
Taking a hint, I creeped off, because I am an empathetic gal.
I have no idea if the pixies and faeries came back to the piper.
But I felt like a bug swished off in a car’s window swiper.
Why can't Dora just give Swiper a break !
For heaven's sake, who made her the morality police ?
Maybe Swiper is just trying to get a little attention ?
Maybe Dora ruined his business through her presumptuous obnoxiousness and gold badge, hall monitor, attention seeking, virtue signalling propaganda playing to the crowd.
No wonder Diego has 3 restraining orders on her.
Take your dignity back Swiper. Tell her to peddle her Black Magic Santaria and peer pressure, elsewhere. Take back your spirit animal from that bossy little b.....