Best Stinking Poems

October: I'm eighteen, shortcutting home
through an autumn-burnished churchyard -
copper-lustred leaves, moss-skinned stone -
a jaunty swing of skater skirt and arm,
college folder square-sturdy in my hand.
In...

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Someone who knows
Said You were an old ancient Tree,
But at the time, it didn’t really matter, 
Or seem important to me.
I knew You only for...

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(Alternative Ending for Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater)

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Do you think he kept his wife so well
by putting her inside a pumpkin shell?
Inside that...

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“Die Another Day”


“Your mission, should you so deem it,
Is to infiltrate ALL Fluff Clusters in K.A.O.S. Headquarters
And bloody well steam it!”


“The Place is a hazardous...

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It could have been a beautiful memory to write down

Walking hand in hand with mama

My long brown french pleats  bouncing in the wind 

My...

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Nauseating thoughts about noxious,  and demeaning  words
that smell worse than stinking socks on sweaty feet ,
replay in my head making me feel so...

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Heartfelt are my thanks for all the blessings
ever flowing in, out and through my life.
I feel fortunate for each go-round with strife
that arrived to design...

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I can no longer hold my tongue
 
I’ve got my knockers and my mockers
Oh, and I can’t forget the blockers
 
So you badmouth me on...

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I've got a fist full of Buddha,
And a fist full of Rand,
A pocket full of Jesus,
And the other's filled with sand,
That's in case I need...

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He sat there in his fav'rite chair, a blanket 'cross his lap 
And covering his snow white hair was his old fishing cap. 
I knew...

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A full year it grew

as dear Callie cat endured 

that stinking cancer.

Night screams came, which pierced my heart.

Only then could I let go. . ....

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Lumpy Rumpy, now a high school lad,
I'm afraid is still acting very bad,
In his school laboratory he did amass,
Some stinking, self-made, rotten egg gas.

He corked...

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Dearest Santa, my one wish may seem strange
but please do not interpret me as snide.
I wish this kindness so please do arrange  
my Christmas...

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(Read later stanzas for more of the humour part ; parody of politics)

I Can't think well of a democracy
if nepotism and false promises
are part and...

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Oh, this impish ill!
this mystic flock of ever-roaming pain;
You now possess fully
my body and my life.
I am at your full attention and mercy;
Do you not...

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