Best Squirted Poems

For those who are following this story, here is the next installment. If this is your first time reading, please read the first one and it will help make sense of the story. Thanks for reading my ongoing tale.


After breakfast, Mrs. Burns and the Kids...

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Alan Allston ate an addictive piece of cake.
Bertie bounced his bouncy ball by the bus stop but his brother caught the bouncy ball before the bus came.
Claire, Clara, Chloe and co built a sculpture of Charlie out of snow.
David danced with Dani in a dance...

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What's happened recently I have to tell. (Hiccup)
Wish I could muddle through without a screw-up.
It starts out at a comic show. (Hiccup)
The stand-up doing jokes was such a crack-up 
my laughter turned to choking then,  (Hiccup)
and from my nose there squirted diet 7-up.
Embarrassed by...

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The howls of the wolfs strike the beast beneath the bed it roars 
For it’s the full moon to night Scary of course
The little kid crawls out the bed to go to the toilet that night
When he thinks of the witches  and the beasts...

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[To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)]
                                *

Heaven’s almost everywhere but...

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Taming a tropical topical tree? Taking a trunk? Telling a tailor? Traversing a tale? Many ideas. Much like the ideological dramas of a beach front. Wavelength of winds. Movements if the tides. Coconuts can jump very high if wearing leotards but leotards are prohibited at...

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At the edge of the town, hidden amongst the trees
Is a nudist camp where folks walk around as they please
They all go about their business strutting their stuff
And as you've probably guessed, they're all in the buff.

There's all shapes and sizes, some skinny, some fat
Others...

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She was longing for her creamy donut
To linger long on her tongue,
She squeezed the sides and to her surprise
It squirted all over her bum.

The big Bermondsey baker man
Shook like an oversized oaf
At silly situations of tasty temptations
As he always liked having a loaf....

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I cheerfully headed for the beach one July noon,
being very anxious and much adventurous;
what I witnessed encountering that fat raccoon,
can't be mentioned...it is short of stupendous! 


I strolled down the busy boardwalk too pale without a tan,
looking neat and clean but not being aware of...

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True earth 
crowded with the familiar facial form:
chalked on concrete
crayoned by children, 
squirted on birthday cakes, 
in camera with teeth all whitened, 
portraited, imitated, formulated. 

We don't wake up 
until we see it. 
We plaster it on 
birds or cats or pigs. 
We laugh and...

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Here's another story about Granny
I think she's probably done it all
This was way back during prohibition
When they outlawed alcohol

See, my granny was a moonshiner
This is about her very first still
She had to make sure no revenuers
Came snoopin' around her hill

So she set up fifty-one booby...

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SAY CHEESE

A block of blue with some scrumptious salad veins.
White american melted over my toasted hot philly
and wizz creatively squirted on crackers entertain.
Stinky limburger a treat — a clothespin-nose silly.

Shredded, sliced or block —
I’ll hide cheese in my sock!

Cheddar logs, mild and sharp, on holiday...

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I looked in the window and what did I see? Huma was scissoring with Hillary. 

My, oh my, what some hairy thighs. These beasts were coming right before my eyes.

There titties were a handful and sagged to their knees. 

For some degenerate libtards they were...

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I 
met my
mom's daddy
when she took us
to live on his farm.
He was big, bald and Welsh.
Mom said he sang and liked to
tease her girlfriends when she was young.
I recall that long country lane and 
big yellow house and a day in the barn.

As Grandpa milked...

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We tried something different this year
A Thanksgiving day buffet
I really like the leftovers though
So I lined my pockets with cellophane

To justify my actions
As I stood in line
With the twenty bucks I was paying  
Would a little take out be such a crime

Being a master...

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