Best Snorted Poems
Rainbow Nation
Blanca is white like beautiful snow in the Drakensberg Mountains
she snorted star powder past the perforated septum into her brain
Black as coal from the underworld mines in Mpumalanga Melanie
had her stomach pumped and purged while sleeping off darkness
Amber is coloured mixed race in the Rainbow of Nations her work
still paid in dop cheap vine that slaves her away in alcoholic trance
Arnav of Indian descent was hooked on dagga grown by the ocean
converted to heroin sold her frail body and skin for brown liquid sugar
Jacobus Bandele Lungelo and Bhavin shared needles and comfort
on the streets of Johannesburg flirted with disaster drug related crime
and their dealers cracked at the dawn longed for dust in the dusk
Drugs do not respect colour gender ability social class and religion
all druggies are equal with craving dependency not restricted to some
Now united in rehab like the state of the nation they all stood at the
table of mountains with one foot in the grave at the cliff face of habit
One day at the moment they now battle their demons resist the temptation
for only the time being from one morning away from the devious mourning
one drug line not taken one fall off the wagon shunned and avoided for now
They have all chased the dragon for far too long and imbibed with the devil
for so many wretched days and nights of delusion torment addiction and pain
Again once more each day anew their only chance to abstain one day at the time
Categories:
snorted, addiction,
Form:
Free verse
We rode out of Camelot, sun arising,
five knights led by Galahad all bold and true,
on a quest to slay a marauding dragon,
at Arthur's request.
T'was noon when we discovered the dragons lair,
and kept a safe distance at the forests edge,
then crept forward surrounding the cave entrance
and hell was unleashed.
He snorted and spewed his lethal bursts of flame
and then flapped his enormous wings to escape,
we moved forward cautiously drawing our swords,
he died a quick death.
We then rode back galloping at breakneck speed
with good news of victory, King would be pleased,
I had in my possession proof of the kill,
a sharp dragons tooth.
Written on the 8th July 2020
For Pick A Title, Vol 19-4 Sapphic Stanzas- Poetry Contest
Theme Chosen, Number 1, Dragons Tooth.
Sponsored By Edward Ibeh.
Categories:
snorted, death, evil, fantasy,
Form:
Sapphic stanza
Fat! As a kid
Well I remember fat!
I always thought I was fat because
My brother called me “Pig!”
Pigs are fat by nature
So I thought “by nature” I am a pig
At school I looked around the room
Saw I was the only pig
The rest were human
Humans (I thought) are slender even skinny
When extra milk was given out
Teacher never selected me
Pigs not being human should be left out so I thought
Pigs should probably be penned
In my mind I was surrounded by a white board fence my feet in mud
When the class sang songs I snorted
When I was 10 mother made me go to Sunday school
The Sunday school teacher a very good kind religious sort of man told us about
GREED
How greed was a sin
I read somewhere “Greedy as a pig”
Being greedy is a sin according to the good kind religious man
Well? GUILT set in
I carried guilt around piggyback for years and YEARS!
THEN
In high school it finally dawned
I wanted a girlfriend
Pigs were out humans were in!
I lost weight FIFTY pounds!
Got me a steady girlfriend
Then I found I really was a human
What a LOUSY thing to be!
Categories:
snorted, funny, lifeschool, me, religious,
Form:
~Merry, Merry~
Twas the night before Christmas and all around my house….
I heard loud footsteps,far heavier than even an overweight,mouse.
Irene, my calico cat,so high on good weed, snuggled in her bed.
While images of muscular hunks in speedos, danced in my old, poetic head!
When out on my lawn, I heard such a clamarous noise….
I wished and wished Santa brought me a sleigh full of boy-toys.
I decided to look outside and see what was the matter.
And, behold, the handsome fireman, who saved my life last week,
was climbing up the ladder!
The moon on his legs, gave off such a amberescent glow…..
I swear, it seemed as though I had snorted a big wad of blow!
He was so young, no grandpa was he, and not one wrinkle.
And those big, blue eyes, did far more than just twinkle!!
The crest of the moon on the new fallen snow.
Higltlighted,his muscular, gluteus maximus….
Far more, than you will ever be blessed to know!
He climbed down the ladder and inquired if I was alright.
I thanked him for the visit, and for my best ever,glorious,
Christmas Eve Night!
12/23/2024
Categories:
snorted, christmas, crush, fantasy, giggle,
Form:
Rhyme
She yelled, bring the girl and the little dog too!
My blood ran cold, wondering what she would do.
I was brought to her castle many years ago.
Ensuring my own kin I would never know.
We all grumbled about it, but we took off anyway.
To cross this old bat would not pay off any day.
My friend Chet looked at me and simply rolled his eyes.
Then we were up in the air, flying high in the skies.
And the little dog too, Chet said, with his mouth.
I laughed at his joke, as we flew to the south.
I telepathed to Toto – run dog, run far away,
But the dog knew Dorothy would get him the very next day.
So I snatched up that adorable black puppy, after walking back and forth.
Chet threw down a bunch of straw from the scarecrow, and we headed back up north.
I brought in my live prize, all wiggly and happy, not a bit blue.
That old witch did not even say thanks, having no manners through and through.
So the next day when she got melted I was the first flying monkey to cheer.
Chet laughed, and Sam snorted, and we took off to find our relatives, dear.
Written 11-02-2018 Contest: Off To See The Wizard
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Categories:
snorted, fantasy, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
Thousands of baby turtles
followed each other into the sea that day
Where a large turtle-eating dragon
hid three feet under the surface, waiting.
She gulped them down in droves,
enjoying their taste. For it was everything!
Sensitive Turtle had a bad feeling about following,
So she strayed north, refusing to go into the sea.
Her sister got snotty with her, demanding to know
“what was wrong with her”.
“I have a bad feeling,” she said.
Her sister snorted, and picked up her step.
But other psychic turtles who also felt something
was amiss suddenly began following Sensitive Turtle north.
There were a hundred and sixty-seven turtles who followed
Sensitive Turtle that day, they were the survivors, and found
A new sea, one without a large turtle-eating dragon.
“But what if they had found a cliff instead and had fallen off the edge?”
My grandchild asked me.
“Ah,” I told her, if you follow your heart,
If you heed the messages your soul gives you,
You would never fall off the edge,”
I told her. “You would sprout wings and fly.”
Categories:
snorted, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Ballad
My fire snorted and all is still,
Chaos does come; lull in the hills.
My mother weeps & daddy cries,
Not peace nor love seen in the skies.
Looking on stirred, with jaws agape,
As blood does stain my flowing cape.
A laugh echoes around & around,
A serpent’s grin, with malice crowned.
‘Come! There is place for us now,
Where Chaos can rule and avow.’
Scanning left, right, left and down,
There was none a soul around!
I search within and find us there,
The architects of this despair.
Categories:
snorted, anger, bible, corruption, evil,
Form:
Rhyme
he parlayed a condom full of nouns
in bold thrusts of the quill
for the para structuralist cadres
many of them freeway orphans
who won't even read a stoplight
on the other hand
there's a lot of other hand
upon hearing the chimes of midnight
I opened the door
another surprise party
that I knew about all along
arranged by my body building therapist
who was a notorious sadist
requiring humiliation ab astra
went in after my scenario gland
in an act of divine pity
sewed me back up real fast
couldn't handle the pixel rate
the audience shrieked and laughed
it was the great awakening
after the Treaty of Lucky Seven
in which all nations pledged
to honor their accidents and idiocies
as though they were instruments of divination
uh oh here comes my chiropractor
a known mob boss
never found the need to knock
cracked his knuckles at the door
and politely asked may I enter
he spoke 7 languages
and several materialist dialects
and could talk without
moving his lips
many were blamed for
things they never said
a hundred times a day
nothing is uncontained
archaeologists in the city dumps
using a subway map with all the stops
snorted and toiled through Winter
at their historico-revisionist comedy
piecing convex to concave
any idea past its prime is stupid
this is the unfortunate fate of all humanity
nobody really likes change
unless it’s more money
oh I know I’ll never work in this town again
but with a bankroll
the size of a chewed pencil
you get the picture
now buckle up kids
mommy's going to drive a little faster
there's a cop on my ass
and I think I can lose him
From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon
Artist Portfolio: http://walteralter.byethost32.com/
Categories:
snorted, crazy, howl, humanity, slam,
Form:
Free verse
Rally around the campfire
in the dark of a summer night.
Tell some interesting old stories
and cook by a campfire light.
Skewer some slender juicy hotdogs
maybe puffy marshmallows too.
Make them crisp and really gooey
to last until the blaze is through.
*************************
Once knew a dragon with a tale
of a sweet damsel in distress.
Caged dragon fell madly in love
so knitted a sleek wedding dress.
Damsel said, “I cannot marry
a love sick dragon in a cage.
For I am just a mere sixteen
and you are more than middle age.”
The dragon looked rather perplexed
didn’t know what to say or do.
He stomped, roared, and snorted fire
“I want to wed your mother, not you”!
The damsel looked extremely shocked
to say the least, she was outraged.
Her mother has not said a word
on being in love or engaged.
The girl turned bright red from anger
that he was not thinking of her.
She was jealous to say the least
what she did next caused quite a stir.
Girl found key to unlock cage door
climbed inside and locked it behind.
Mother returned, found teen daughter
quite caged and forever confined.
Moral:
Don’t wish for something that should be yours in the first place,
you might end up with it…
A way to ward off suitors is to lock your teen daughter up with a dragon…
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Categories:
snorted, fantasy, love, love, teen,
Form:
Narrative
The heron bowed to the kangaroo
With sparkling eyes he fell deeply in love
Her heart he tried with all his might to woo.
The devious crow offered her bamboo
She chewed it up and gave him a shove
The heron bowed to the kangaroo.
The hippo snorted saying howdy do
While the rain fell in torrents from above
Her heart he tried with all his might to woo.
A turtledove gave her a heartfelt coo
As he sat in a tree high above the cove
The heron bowed to the kangaroo.
The camel got his hump sprayed by chew
As the kangaroo spat out leaf of clove
Her heart he tried with all his might to woo.
The heron and kangaroo love may rue
Her lovers she did not treat with kid glove
The heron bowed to the kangaroo
Her heart he tried with all his might to woo
written 3/17/2016
Categories:
snorted, animal, bird, fun, humor,
Form:
Villanelle
Toasty mornings with teakettles whistling bring to mind Danish days on Marata’s
horse farm, ponies prancing in the unusually warm sunlight, and new fangled
sparkling silver water fountains. Mirada, Karen and Laura’s Mom hosted Bob, Jamie
and I for a summer vacation. We had just settled into the whitewashed kitchen
when the problem was presented to us. For years the housed herd of guest horses
had been watered by filling lovely old white porcelain cast iron tubs which had been
scattered all over the rolling green fields of the farm in Faum.
Mirada had the forward thinking idea of saving farm hand time [and her the hourly
wage] of piping water to these beautiful horses with new fountains! Yes, my
lovelies, all you have to do is push your nose right here. Out bubbles crisp cool clean
water, minus the dead flies, which often drowned in the old tub! Seems horses are
very suspicious. Nope the herd was having none of it. Soon, if not cajoled, they
would be passing out from lack of water in the Danish summer’s heat. What foreign
creature had replaced their friendly old white tub of water? Where was their water?
They saw no water. Sure there was a scent of it from that pole but “What the
heck?” snorted the black stallion shaking his head at the girls.
We were told there would be no breakfast, lunch or dinner for us until we helped
get those horses watered. So off we went, shuffling our feet to a meet and greet
with the herd. Marata and the girls knew the horses. We almost knew a horse from
a cow. I went right up to this large black beauty, pet his nose and rubbed my cheek
on his face, love at first sight! Blackie started following me and we walked toward
the fountain. Then the sun glanced off the dreaded thing and he shied. I pushed the
control, filled my hands with water and brought him some. Lordy, lordy he drank
from my hands! The herd behind him whinnied. I tried to get him nearer the fountain
but it was a no, go. He’d drink from my hands but not the fountain. It just goes to
show you, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink, is really
TRUE!
*The next morning Laura begged her own pony AGAIN to drink. He finally did the rest did too then ;)
Categories:
snorted, familyold, water, farm, horse,
Form:
Narrative
BBC News Alert
Somewhere in France
In the Countryside
A farmer has been arrested
For molesting an old cow
A drunken old hag was on all fours
Crawling around in his field
He, having had his wine and baguette
Thought he had forgotten one cow
Off he went to fondle and milk her ****
Turned out they were as dry as prunes
The cow in English barked; get your hands off of me
To which the pour farmer replied in absolute shock
Merde! Why you cow who barks, you speak English!
How can this be?
She replied I am not a cow you blind old farmer
I am a mooing poet of sorts
I dropped my dictionary in some cow dun here
Can’t seem to tell the difference between the two
I understand replied the farmer
Like me looking at you and a cow
Was very confusing indeed
Well I shall take me leave you old blind fart
The farmer snorted
Let me cut the fence open for you
She crawled back onto the road
Whereby the farmer was arrested
(Alsace has left wing laws it seems)
For letting his cow wander
Upon the intellectual property
Of France
Categories:
snorted, angel, anti bullying, crazy,
Form:
Light Verse
It is people like you
Who make people like me.
To want to live on.
If alone to be there
When people like you
Need people like me
To live on too.
So I went to
The market place
Called humanity shopping;
Shopping for something
Something special;
Special and valuable.
I asked for salt.
The seller tells me.
“Finished”
I said:
“Why? Where can I get it?”
She said the woman
That supplies her salt was out of stock.
She said the woman
Had told her
The market where she
Gets salt was no more.
It has been bombed
By those who play
With bombs as if
They are fireworks.
It is people like us
Who make people like you
Want to live on
If alone to be there
When people like us
Need people like you
To live on too.
So I ran to
The white man’s church
I met the black man
Put there to do his bidding.
I asked him
“Holy father, where are
The salt of the earth?”
He looked at me and said
“What are you talking about?”
I said the holy book says
We are the salt of the earth.
He looked away and snorted
“Oh that! Well,
We have no more salt left here.”
“Where then can I find some salt?”
I asked.
He replied in agony
“Go elsewhere son,
I guarantee you won’t find any here.”
It is someone like you
Who makes someone like me.
So I went to the streets
I saw a beggar boy
Begging for alms at
The road side.
I pitied him but I walked past him
Like the reverend in his colourful cloak
Like politician in his posh jeep
Like the teacher in his thoughtfulness
And like the preacher in his pretense.
I looked back again as I passed
I saw a poor man
Throw the beggar boy
Some coins
But the money in my pocket
Was for salt.
For the salt of the earth.
It is someone like me
Who makes someone like you.
So you, like me, continues
Like so in this treachery
Called society.
Categories:
snorted, community, philosophy, society, world,
Form:
Blank verse
The quite teenager went to school on foot,
never was late or tried to cheat on any test;
he ate fruits and veggies and stayed lean...
realizing that discipline was a good medicine.
Years went by and he became a physician;
many diseases he cured, even eye vision,
but his schoolmates frequented hotel rooms that smelled of booze...
they had unprotected sex and snorted cocaine: weren't they the losers?
Categories:
snorted, education, food, health, passion,
Form:
Rhyme
"Crispy, crumbly, chocolate Christmas cookies cooling . . . "
I am going to turn back the pages of time,
to when my Grandma made cookies in wintertime;
I would sit at the kitchen table with my cat,
cooling on the counter were creations sublime.
Grandma said, don't touch, and in her rocker she sat,
reading my book I stopped to give my kitty a pat;
But he had vanished and I was just petting air,
oh, just smelling that chocolate would make me fat.
Grandma snorted loudly and got up from her chair,
checking the crispy, crumbly treats- she turned to stare;
and she said, my dear I told your not to touch them,
but, but I didn't Grandma, I was loud to declare,
And at that moment we noticed my cat Tom Thumb,
one Christmas delight was diminished to a crumb;
how sweet are these pages of my life to recall,
kitty was in the "dog house" cause he had succumb.
__________________________
November 10, 2016
Poetry/Rubaiyat Rhyme/Tongue Twister Time
Copyright Protected, ID 16-848-903-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Tongue Twister Time
sponsor, Mystic Rose
Fifth Place
Categories:
snorted, cat, granddaughter, grandmother,
Form:
Rubaiyat