Best Slobbers Poems

No one knows
  what to do
If I breathe in 
  my poodle's poo

Can I shake paws
  with my cat
If I rub her tummy
  Is there a caveat

And God protect me 
  from the friendly St. Bernard
Who slobbers all over me
...

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Michael McGregor Nursery Rhyme 

Michael McGregor refused to bathe
His mother says: “You’ll be sorry!
A monster you’ll be when you awake!”
Michael thinks “Fun!” – a monster party!

Michael awakens all hairy and gross
Roars when he talks, slobbers and drools
Green teeth, foul breath, long toenail toes
No friend sits...

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The cross-eyed goat 
Looks like such a disgrace, 
He spits and slobbers 
His tongue hangs out of his face. 

He trips and falls 
On the kitchen floor, 
Time to kick his butt 
Out my front door. 

He hits the door casing 
On his way out,...

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~PANIC from the DOGS POV~

They left me yeah..woof ME! woof!
Love that car! grrrrrrrrrr
Blankie where’d my blankie go??
Mommie!!!!! (howl)
Daddie !! (Howl) (Whimper)(Simper)*

Who’s that Lady, I smell her…
    NOPE not MY Mommie!

(The discarded pup chases its tail)
    (howl) (growl)*

Gonna HIDE! yeah..yup...

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Little Red Riding Hood, we'll call her "Red",
Was taking her granny some food
But the wolf had spotted her basket
And thought that he'd be shrewd

He said, "Hey little girl, where you goin?"
The wolf was thinking he's cool
But Red paid him no nevermind
And mumbled,"I'm just passing thru"

"What's...

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Upside Down World

The great man and conjurer of poetic license sat behind
                                 ...

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Institutional Jargon

Strait lined jacket, 
A wheelchair line-up peruses the pasty walls
In synchronized fashion
Secured by schedule 
Where the pristine uniform
Clicks heels and strides with purpose 
Adorned the fob with pen in pocket
To check the clock and the parade
Of faceless dozers where faraway tellies drone
Dismissed the saline...

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Dreamin' with my eyes on these Montana skies
Blue as the plaid in my plum good shirt
I got the mitten by a beauty queen smitten
By a flannel mouthed tenderfoot from the Wyoming dirt

I’m just a waddie but a big hearted fella'
That rides strong and long –...

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For the dove and the good of all her love;
Life blood from pen-points paint out an halo.
Thy hallowedness, thy silvery rivers flow
into my flower box. My barn's sprouts live.
Winsome birds bed my head, nestle vainly,
for your soaring blisses make null kisses.
Blue baby I am, my...

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How do I love thee, but maybe the censors are listening
Waiting to pounce, muzzle me, that's when I start bristling
My love is like a volcano
Waiting to erupt in a halo
Of kisses and slobbers and naughtiness wiggling...

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I don't want to go to heaven
I don't want to go to hell
I don't even want to go to town
to see my sister Nell.

  She has a humped back husband
who hates me to the max,
he has the croup,
and fills my soup
with extract of exlax.

...

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I shall finish this letter to granddaddy tonight, 
I just cannot find the words that are right.
I wish to thank him for fighting in the war, 
on the front line he stood, straight in sight. 
I bet he saw the such violence and abhor,
but he...

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My dog thinks I am an idiot,
I haven’t figured him out yet,
I can never seem to see,
When he needs to go out and pee,
He always sharts on the living room floor,
Because I’m never there to open the door,
I don’t think it is right,
To sniff other...

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Find fine excuses for your lateness;
That way you will protect your Greatness:
A Street fight that just ended a life,
A man The  beating out of wife,
A purge that vowed to keep you at home,
A drug you took, everything A Dome …

A soiling of your wear...

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No secret poets are fond
of stars and dreaming -- 
of gazing and seeming: 
using one's mind as a
portal, focusing crystal -- using
the heart, to capture as
a vessel,  all that is clean
and unclean -- no flat safe
of a writer is he...  daring

  ...

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