Best Shorting Poems

When, life gives all you can take and the loads to heavy to take. I am here to 
lessing the load and carry it with you.
When, your days seam to long and troubled. I'll be here to shorting and make a 
happy day for you.
When,your...

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I bought a used electric car, and not coz I’ve gone green
For there were better reasons for obtaining that machine.

I figured weekday mornings I could save some precious time
Transforming my used car into the voltage making line.

The first thing that I added was a GFI...

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The Perfectionist is Listening

the rich are committing suicide
and taking us with them
the prosthetic limbed bastards
Fort Darwin tottering on fewer stilts
once the masters of the universe
presently picking through garbage
looking for an Icarus to pilot
some way back among the clouds
their telepathic goon squads 
armed with the hard...

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The Game of Hockey 

By Government decree, lacrosse
Is Canada’s national sport,
But in the hearts and minds of Canadians,
Hockey rules supreme.
Hockey is a winter sport enjoyed by Canadians since 1875,
When the game was first played, on frozen ponds, rivers,
Lakes, and in streets, and later, indoors in...

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CAUTION: 
the contents of this coffee cup may be HOT 
please be careful not to burn yourself or others 
the contents may also be wet 
spillage may result in slipping hazards 
the shorting out of electrical equipment 
electrocution and death 
or a possibly an embarrassing...

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You can short yourself
You can keep shorting yourself!
You can make it short......

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written too late for the contest, but wanted to post it anyway....

I had one of the most wonderful mom's any human being could have...she lives with me now - with decreasing dementia.., I answer her constant repetitive questions,
listen sadly to all of her accusations, but...

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Wow! babe, this is as hot as I've ever felt
Hurry, put these flames out before I melt
Stop teasing me darling, with your body so mesmerizing
Seems like forever, for this moment I've been fantasizing 

Mercury is rising and soon, I will surely explode
Pulse and breathe quickening,...

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Perpendicular to the day and the 
horizon looks no nearer than the day 
before a yesterday, 
am I moving 
or is this spinning just a symptom of 
something my mind can't touch upon?

If looking inward is the answer and the universe 
spreads before me is...

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I'm trying to figure my life out
It's like a combination lock 
That I don't have the code to
With every turn I gain a little hope
But every time I pull to open 
It's still shut
And my hope is lost
I'll stay untill I get it right
I wont...

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WAKE-UP SLEEPING FRIEND, 
LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD, 
TIME TO RISE FROM THE ASHEN, 
LIKE PHOENIX THE MYTHICAL BIRD. 

BASE OF CHEMATICS, 
HACKING INTO YOUR SYSTEM. 
WAR-MINDED TACTICS, 
POWERS QUICK TO CONDENM. 
RISING EMINENT-DOMAIN, 
POOR FAMILIES' GRIEF. 
MAN-MADE ACID RAIN, 
FOOLS CRAVE FOR RELIEF. 
CYBERNETIC...

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I've got a poem,
its really rather sad,
I learned it many years ago,
From my dad,

Its all about a person,
that's very very glad
who had invented a new thing
that became an instant fad

It meant he got loads of money
and he bought a lovely pad
and loads of hot women
would...

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A shadow of a family
Sits, lumping on our couch
Watching TV with mindless eyes
Occasionally letting a few words out

The lines that bind together
Lie about on the ground like jump ropes
They’re always in the way
Tripping up dreams and shorting out hopes

Every emotion results in a trip
The kitchen...

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University girls 
You oath to be in school
Now you are catching fun 
At your boys friends quarters 
Having a good time 
Throwing parties all the time 
Life is good yes university girls
Are crazy 
Let the study wait 
The university girls slogan 
Is okay to carry...

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With whatever retrospect behind my neck I’ll make you look like an insect to intersect/
I inflict and solicit my scripts strict to set out a rhythmic therapeutic antic/
While I’m poetic I’ll constrict any rap artists larynx apart the farthest/
Except for Mr Mathers and a few...

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