You Have Been Cautioned

CAUTION: the contents of this coffee cup may be HOT please be careful not to burn yourself or others the contents may also be wet spillage may result in slipping hazards the shorting out of electrical equipment electrocution and death or a possibly an embarrassing stain on the pants the contents of this coffee cup may also be COLD sudden violent reactions from sipping yesterday’s coffee carelessly left on your desk could dislocate any number of bodily joints, scare fellow employees or, result in the accidental send of that questionable email you will later regret the contents of this coffee cup may not even be coffee please do not accept beverages in this, or any other cup from people you do not know unless they are clearly identifiable representatives of a reputable establishment or the government this cup should not be used to contain any non-digestible substances, especially petroleum based products and radioactive material please, please, please - do not eat this cup although this cup may be distributed via a drive-through service do not utilize this cup, (or read this warning label), while operating a motor vehicle please exercise extreme caution while transporting this cup, from the vehicle to the stationary location where you may enjoy it safely this cup is not a toy please keep it out of the reach of children (on second thought, since any well-motivated and mischievous child can probably find a way to reach it… best to clutch it at all times until you are finished and can dispose of it properly) please consult our website for proper disposal techniques do not use this cup to eavesdrop on your neighbors through the wall doing so could expose you to potentially disturbing, or dangerous information this cup is NOT a life preserver using it in this manner could result in legal action from the drowning victim’s family if other more suitable floatation devices are proved to have been available this cup is not sanctioned for use in any religious rituals especially those in which someone may get hurt for any other questions or concerns regarding the safe use of this product please consult our website under the “Common Sense” link any attempt to sue the manufacturer or authorized distributor of this product for any calamity arising from its use or misuse will be met with a team of lawyers that will eat you for lunch and leave you to use this cup for begging on the street corner you MAY use it for this purpose YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED please sign here: and enjoy your beverage By Art Wright