Best Rub Poems
JEANIEMAC
Rub a dub dub two in a tub.
Where did the soap go?
He lay back flat
Right on his back.
While she fiddled about below.
TIM SMITH
Rub a dub dub I fell in the tub.
I swear to you Lassie it's not always a stub.
The water is cold.
I'm getting old.
Come a little closer and give it a rub.
LIM'RIK FLATS
Jeanie and Timmy alone in the tub.
Sounds like a poem which might need a scrub.
I cannot say s*x.
Not sure about pecs.
H**l, the censors might just overdub.
ARTHUR VASO
Rub a dub dub, there's three in a tub.
Sure hope one doesn't give it a rub.
The lassie is fine.
She has two to shine.
EVE ROPER
Rub a dub dub four in a swingers tub.
Girls raised their glass, boys the stilettos subs.
Full of champagne and olives.
Pond koi had other motives.
Oh la la,, that's not the knob it's my club!
Categories:
rub, basketball, beauty, friendship,
Form:
Limerick
Rub A Dub Dub Dub
A gay ***** flick filmed in a tub.
Categories:
rub, funny, on writing and
Form:
Burlesque
An Electric Rub Board?
By
Tom Wright
There was a young man named Joe Greene,
Who promised his wife a new washing machine.
It was called a Rub Board,
And had no electric cord,
Now Joe needs a transplanted spleen.
Categories:
rub, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub
What were they doing there?
A grout guy, a plumber
Not sure who was dumber
The third guy to open the beer!
Categories:
rub, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
There comes a time when we all begin
to challenge the authority above.
Whilst we may know that we committed a sin
they still discipline us because of their love.
I remember just such a time
when Mom was the challengee and I was the challenger.
It was freezing and to be outside was a crime
yet, when she wasn't looking, I secreted myself out the door.
Of course the S_ _ _ hit the fan
as she saw me bundled up out there.
Window raised she called out, "DAN!"
enough to give me a scare.
In those days the timeout was nonexistent
and the corporal would be felt.
But the length and means of its extent
I would only know as she wielded that belt.
Like a windmill turning in great arcs afield
my little frame seemed to go.
Trying to get away from that swatting wield
was all I wanted to know!
"YES, MOTHER! YES, MOTHER! YES, MOTHER!"
was all that I could say.
Hoping against hope that she wouldn't tell father
when he came home at the end of his day.
This is one of the darkest memories
that I've had since I was about four.
Sometimes I think about those strokes that stung like bees
because I had sneaked out that door.
Yet, it was a mother's love for me
that prompted her disciple so severe.
As I have grown older the why I could see...
and sometimes still rub my rear!
Categories:
rub, angst, childhood, love, motherme,
Form:
Rhyme
What nursery rhyme's gayer, I'm asking you, bub,
Than the one that has three grown men sharing a tub?
Was it their sexual orientation,
Or merely water conservation,
And they were all charter members of the Sierra Club?
Categories:
rub, humor, nursery rhyme,
Form:
Limerick
Doodle me your funny strokes of frog looking just like hidden Mickey
Or your princess that wears a tiara made of a plane triangle
Go ahead!
Indulge yourself!
Fill my sheet with your vertical lines
Top them up with diagonals and curves
Sketch your favorite part of her body if you wish
You can even ask Mr. Crayon to join in
Don’t stop scribbling.
Keep leaving a mark ‘cause I find your lead sexy.
Just don’t rub me with your rubber.
Glenn Sentes
For Nette Onclaud's SEXY Contest
02-02-12
Categories:
rub, art, funny, passion, me,
Form:
Free verse
They say in the Bedouin camp
The Geanie is really a scamp
Sure, he’ll grant you wishes
Of romance or dishes
As long as you’re rubbing his lamp
When I read this story I knew
That none of the story rang true
For I had an uncle
And he had this furuncle
That he said would grant wishes too
But according to my loving Aunt
The only thing that thing would grant
Was a wrist with a sprain
Then she tried to explain
I’d go on but I really can’t
Categories:
rub, family, fantasy,
Form:
Limerick
It's fun to dream of 'better,' but just how? The way's not clear,
For 'better' might cost something that impacts our evening beer!
Now Donald (and the gullible) all tell us they're in charge,
Although I wonder if that's true? The future's looming large!
Some things Don says are "small" (just a mote to beholder)
I'm certain's a log in my eye, (could be boulder!)
If sunny or clear I'm expecting more rain,
If a bumper crop comes, hail will likely cause pain!
If something's works well that's its choice,
Why rock the boat and add my voice?
A 'duct tape' patch can work you see,
Besides his shift is done in three.
I've just one time around, let me sniff a few roses,
Let somebody new play the hero, make poses.
What's broken? Should I care what's starting to rust?
If he's ever found out, he'll just 'pardon' his dust!
Oh, Donald and Republicans can label fact fake news,
The truth is that his 'roof is gone,' their brains are stuck in 'cruise!'
And global warming's added now to list of coming woes,
More stuff to leave undone, why 'sweat' the future we compose?
Brian Johnston
27th of July 2018
Poet's Note:
Is 'Human' already a new euphemism for 'Stupid? Move over dinosaurs! Here we come! A single meteor was all it took to end the dinosaur's reign. Will human pride (our vanity) drown intellect? God help us!
Categories:
rub, journey, life,
Form:
Rhyme
Sweet Buddha Baby
brought serenity to mind
after belly rub.
Categories:
rub, faith
Form:
Senryu
Oh but to rest this mad toiling mind!
Sleep? Nay, to sleep perchance to dream
Dreams. Ay, there lay the problem
How, then, to find solace
Can it be achieved...
true peace of mind?
Not in life
but in
death
Categories:
rub, allusion, anxiety, sleep,
Form:
Nonet
I see North Africa
Through a little girl’s eyes
Continental ignorance
Stagnant in their reflection
Oppression
Like sinuous flames
In the heat of their arid deserts
I see America
With its once prolific economy
One man
It tumbled all
Two elections – “it’s all your fault!”
Teetering precariously, waiting…
For Obama to hold it together
I see Europe
Where art thou now?
Hiding like politicians – fools they are
Come out, come out
Where ever you are
Bush needs his poodles
Ha Ha Ha!
You’re all in this together
Manipulating each other
Pretending to need the UN more than the other
Who’s ruling the UN Bush or its general secretary
Britain cannot criticize, they ruled the League of Nations
You’ll never step up to the plate
And be manly enough
To take the blame for the world’s disastrous fate.
Categories:
rub, political
Form:
Free verse
A place to raise your glass
or raise the hair right off your head
Where liquor flows and tongues will wag,
be warned of what is said
A place where open secrets
bare desires to fulfill
And nearly every fantasy
to satisfy at will
Anonymous in nature
are the patrons you will find
And you can be yourself and
take a trip of any kind
Wedding vows and high hat bows
are left outside the door
And once you dare to come inside
you’ll find you’re wanting more
How to find this wanton place
when you’re up to no good
Just turn the corner, take the path
and penetrate the wood
This place is so revealing
you cannot miss its sign
A hidden space, clandestine love
its name is by design
Who might you meet, a husband
or a wife inside this pub
Just take a stroll inside your head
for therein lies “The Rub”
Categories:
rub, fun, love, lust, senses,
Form:
Rhyme
Snap your fingers
knock your knees
clap your hands
if you please.
Bounce and rattle
whistle and trill
kick your feet high
don’t take a spill!
Fiddlers fiddle
drummers drum
keep them a whirlin
rub a tum tum!
Categories:
rub, song-lyric
Form:
Quatrain
True revelation
New birth; green wonder enshrouds
The world awakens
Categories:
rub, nature, sea, seasons
Form:
Haiku