Best Room To Swing A Cat Poems
I’ve finally hit the big time
I’m going to be on the stage
Reading one of my poems
I’m sure to be all the rage
I enquired about my dressing room
Would it have a gold star on the door
With champagne and flowers to greet me
(I’ve read about diva’s before)
You can imagine my disappointment
When I was shown to the ladies loo
Not enough room to swing a cat
And it stinks of wee and pooh!
On 20th May I will be performing one of my funny poems at a local charity event to raise awareness and money for Parkinson’s disease – this poem came about after chatting with one of the organisers
05~05~16
They claim the grass
Is always greener on the other side
But there is no grass just a beach and the tide
They say you never know whats around the corner
I do big Ada she's rough I have to warn ye
They say I've lost my mind but i don't mind.
They say don't put all your eggs in the same basket
I dont I keep them in a casket
They say there's plenty more fish in the sea
That maybe ok for fishermen but not for me
They say lightening never strikes twice
They have never wore a suit of Armour on a motorbike
If you go out in the cold dressed like that
You'll catch a cold
Who threw it to catch to hold
You've got too many fingers in too many pies
I haven't got no pies something wrong with their eyes
Carrots are good for your eyes
Not if they are stuck in them
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush
i would have never thought as much
You always hurt the one you love
Not me I hit them with feather gloves
Time is a great healer
I've had a clock on my head
But I'm still ill in bed
You cant turn back time
I can with mine
No room to swing a cat
Well swing a rat that'll take care of that
Diamonds area girls best friend
Well I must be a diamond
Eat your greens or you'll never grow up
What about your reds browns yellows tea in your cup
Laughter is the best medicine
Not if your dying
Wast of time trying
Every star has a silver lining
But no ones been to a star so forget that finding
Money doesn't grow on trees
Of course not they just grow leaves
They say to fall asleep
Count sheep
Bit what do sheep count humans
Bobs your uncle
I haven't got an uncle Bob
I;d sped my lady penny on you
Is that all that wont do
They'll stab you in the back
Not if your facing them
The customers always right
Do you let them win
In a fight.
Peter Dome.Copyright 2016. May.
Who said life was going to be fair?
Come on, let’s make this circle square,
Poor as church mice, bolder than brass,
Circle right then show me the cash.
We'll keep it underneath your hat,
But there’s no room to swing a cat,
They say the best in life is free,
So square this circle left like me.
Fair and square like they always say,
Fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay,
Money is round to go around,
London Bridge, now we all fall down.
The rain outside is cats and dogs,
Grandma just popped her dancing clogs,
Look this gift horse, right in the mouth,
Forward, back, now let’s journey south.