Best Repairman Poems

One dark night a saucer crashed;
the military quickly cleaned up the trash.
In the distance, what they didn’t see;
a thin, white face between the trees.

Once all was quiet, little Gili-ok crept,
from the woods where he had slept.
The rising sun, he felt was great, 
but without his...

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Aaarrhhh!
You say it's not working again, dear
Curse that piece of metal junk,
it only works on Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Part-time dishwashing machine ...
and half of the time when it do work, it only get the dishes half-clean
It decided to go on labor strike,
two months after the...

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...Two plus two equals four...

I've often wondered,

...four plus four equals eight...

as I look back on my life,

...eight plus eight equals..., and so on,

if the sum of my experiences
is the essence of who I am.
Is that cowering little boy
hiding behind his mother's skirt
what makes me the...

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Remembering TV of the 1950s

By Elton Camp

About TV, this little account is told
From when I was twelve years old
Because it was along about then
When TV fascination did begin

The programming choices were few
The channels we received were two
A massive antenna was the only way
There existed no...

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Revenge of the Office Copier

By Elton Camp

I started to make copies of an important report.
Just as I commenced, it sent a printed retort.
“Though I don’t contain a single strand of DNA,
I deserve respect and have gone on strike today.”

“I’m tired of hearing humans describe me...

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I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.

I took the elevator and
pushed button number eight.
The car lurched; then it wouldn’t budge.
I cried, “Oh, I’ll be late!”

One shrieking nut, two clueless girls
who texted or played...

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was a garden unloved not many flowers 
memories run deep and were buried there 
here children used to play in summer showers 
a cat stalked  looking absurd with an irritable stare

we caught this moggie stalking a tiny mouse
was hiding away in the iris bed
not...

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Before they used computer chips

and printed circuits too,

TVs worked with different parts

like capacitors and tubes.


Our neighbor was a repairman

and he was quite adept,

he'd given me an old TV

to satisfy a debt.


I wrestled it to the basement,

put some rabbit ears on top,

plugged it in an outlet,

and...

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Say bye-bye to these:
    "Hold, please." (Hold what?)
    Typewriter Repairman Ads
    "Dial this number..." (What's 'dial?')  
    Down-time... Offline
    Compliments (Complaint Departments have swallowed them up).
   ...

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If your automobile insurance was all paid up to date
And you suffered a loss, just what would you say?
Would you say, “Mr. Repairman, I will pay the bill”
I don’t believe Allstate will do what they say they will

If one paid for your families health insurance...

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Every time something breaks
like the pipe in the wall
we heard gushing

this morning
my wife wants to call
a repairman because 

I can’t fix anything
except split infinitives
and dangling participles

and I usually agree 
but this time 
I mention the kayaks 

in the attic and say 
why don’t we hop...

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Walk about the night
Gaze a cracked streetlight
Flickering uselessly.

Attempting to illuminate
But overall ineffective
As it's far too damaged to work without drastic change.

So it waits for the repairman
To fix all of the problems
That it certainly didn't cause.

But we are that streetlight
Just as we are the repairman
Now we...

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With lighter
And a cigarette
In your palm

You sparkled
With theatrical show
And we smiled

At those rims of desire 
Billowing thru the noonday air
Though it was too thin to last
 
And the repairman 
Falling behind schedule 
Still, I will be dancing--
 
Your last dance....

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patched up. got all patched up, they say. running like a jack rabbit, ready to go. because here comes spring! here it comes! gotta get patched up and ready. hammering around my chest cavity, my hearts running like a jack rabbit, ready to go. it...

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The AC is Out!

And it's going to be 104!
Not a pleasant prospect, this
poet was wishing for.
The house gets hotter than
an oven.
The cat will lie still and be far
from movin'!

Fans just don't do the trick!
When you feel like a lit candle
wick!
Showers only add humidity to
muck.
Where's the...

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