Best Repairman Poems

One dark night a saucer crashed;
the military quickly cleaned up the trash.
In the distance, what they didn’t see;
a thin, white face between the trees.

Once all...

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Aaarrhhh!
You say it's not working again, dear
Curse that piece of metal junk,
it only works on Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Part-time dishwashing machine ...
and half of the...

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...Two plus two equals four...

I've often wondered,

...four plus four equals eight...

as I look back on my life,

...eight plus eight equals..., and so on,

if the sum...

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Remembering TV of the 1950s

By Elton Camp

About TV, this little account is told
From when I was twelve years old
Because it was along about then
When TV...

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Revenge of the Office Copier

By Elton Camp

I started to make copies of an important report.
Just as I commenced, it sent a printed retort.
“Though I don’t...

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I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.

I took the elevator and
pushed button number...

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was a garden unloved not many flowers 
memories run deep and were buried there 
here children used to play in summer showers 
a cat stalked...

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Before they used computer chips

and printed circuits too,

TVs worked with different parts

like capacitors and tubes.


Our neighbor was a repairman

and he was quite adept,

he'd given me...

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If your automobile insurance was all paid up to date
And you suffered a loss, just what would you say?
Would you say, “Mr. Repairman, I will...

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Say bye-bye to these:
    "Hold, please." (Hold what?)
    Typewriter Repairman Ads
    "Dial this number..." (What's 'dial?')...

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Every time something breaks
like the pipe in the wall
we heard gushing

this morning
my wife wants to call
a repairman because 

I can’t fix anything
except split infinitives
and dangling...

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Walk about the night
Gaze a cracked streetlight
Flickering uselessly.

Attempting to illuminate
But overall ineffective
As it's far too damaged to work without drastic change.

So it waits for the...

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With lighter
And a cigarette
In your palm

You sparkled
With theatrical show
And we smiled

At those rims of desire 
Billowing thru the noonday air
Though it was too thin to...

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patched up. got all patched up, they say. running like a jack rabbit, ready to go. because here comes spring! here it comes! gotta get...

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The AC is Out!

And it's going to be 104!
Not a pleasant prospect, this
poet was wishing for.
The house gets hotter than
an oven.
The cat will lie still...

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