Best Rear Poems
As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our senses with their dairy-air
Categories:
rear, animal, farm, funny,
Form:
Limerick
I check my rear view mirror,
Is it safe to change my lane,
Side mirrors checked but its not clear,
Everything’s fogged by pouring rain.
I make my move and extreme pain,
Airbags explode streams of light,
Trails of yellow fire in my brain,
Sirens reel in the dark night.
Written by Lee Ramage
July 29, 2011
For Nette Onclaud’s “Hutain this One” contest
Won 6th place
Dedicated to my sister-in-law who just
had a near fatal accident.
Categories:
rear, confusion,
Form:
Verse
Feels like limericks are coming out of my ears
Or sometimes think they're coming outta me rear
But those ones are shitty
Not for transmitty
So I'll try not to post 'em but can't promise my dears
Categories:
rear, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
To live or to survive
It is a hard time
After the epidemic
Comes the economic crisis
Not enough food
We grow our own vegetables
Not enough chickens
We rear our own chickens
Nothing to do with money
But when not enough money
People can bribe
We can do nothing
Even when we retire with some money
They cannot buy all the necessities
And happiness
We still have to work
To crack our heads
To survive
To feed ourselves
With organics
With vaccines
With logics
With humanity
And so
We have to believe that
God will only help those
Who help themselves
Categories:
rear, food, god, happiness, life,
Form:
Free verse
This sub zero stuff may finally be over
How do we survive every year
It ain't civilized, it's downright barbaric
This year got a frozen rear
Sat down on the coals in my barbecue pit
Took twenty-four hours to thaw
Till finally I smelled a very strange odour
Realized it was time to withdraw
A Canadian dude but this is insane
Even I can't handle this stuff
Told Cathie, better hide all the knives
Enough is bloody well enough
Likely flying south with the birdies next fall
Can't take another winter like this
Too old and decrepit, way past my prime
As I leave, I'll throw you all a big kiss
This sub zero stuff may finally be over
How do we survive each year!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
rear, funny, winter,
Form:
Narrative
November arrives-
my panorama world view
takes a monochrome hue
Categories:
rear, seasons,
Form:
Haiku
Seen many splendid things in my seventy-nine years
But the one thing that stands out is the girlie's cute rear
If I lose my seeing
My touchy and feeling
Then I guess I might as well just call it a career
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
rear, fun, , cute,
Form:
Limerick
There comes a time when we all begin
to challenge the authority above.
Whilst we may know that we committed a sin
they still discipline us because of their love.
I remember just such a time
when Mom was the challengee and I was the challenger.
It was freezing and to be outside was a crime
yet, when she wasn't looking, I secreted myself out the door.
Of course the S_ _ _ hit the fan
as she saw me bundled up out there.
Window raised she called out, "DAN!"
enough to give me a scare.
In those days the timeout was nonexistent
and the corporal would be felt.
But the length and means of its extent
I would only know as she wielded that belt.
Like a windmill turning in great arcs afield
my little frame seemed to go.
Trying to get away from that swatting wield
was all I wanted to know!
"YES, MOTHER! YES, MOTHER! YES, MOTHER!"
was all that I could say.
Hoping against hope that she wouldn't tell father
when he came home at the end of his day.
This is one of the darkest memories
that I've had since I was about four.
Sometimes I think about those strokes that stung like bees
because I had sneaked out that door.
Yet, it was a mother's love for me
that prompted her disciple so severe.
As I have grown older the why I could see...
and sometimes still rub my rear!
Categories:
rear, angst, childhood, love, motherme,
Form:
Rhyme
REAR VIEW MIRROR
by
JOHN M. ARRIBAS
Its been a long and perilous journey
All over in such a short time
I find myself yielding the treasures
I once thought were mine
If there’s a heaven
Then surely, there is a hell
Question is “in which shall I dwell”
Categories:
rear, analogy, eulogy, future, introspection,
Form:
Rhyme
Wishbone reunion,
Flying south this time of year.
Brings much Thanksgiving.
Categories:
rear, animals, holiday, nature
Form:
Haiku
There's something about suspenders and Rear-enders
And even if you may be running into fenders
To me and many, it might not be a big deal
But suspenders may get caught in steering wheel.
It did seem to start becoming quite drafty
When I saw someone cunning and crafty
Drinking many margaritas which were mixed
Which apparently is how people get their kicks.
To a Hill-Billy high balls may sound strange
And minds have been known to mentally derange
Then a dead end street you had ended up on
Just ran out of gas when it was all gone.
Red light, green light or could be caution
Mixed with margaritas create quite a concoction
Or even Coca Cola mixed with much rum
And lots of lime, you should also add sum.
Soon I realized and as a matter of fact
Can you imagine the incredible impact
Bloody Mary Margaritas were a disaster
And pretty near put me out to pasture.
James Thomas Horn
www.poetrysoup.com
Categories:
rear, humorous,
Form:
Couplet
Patchwork quilt of a metal roof,
with a hip-shot lean to the left.
Boards, weathered, to a storm cloud grey,
with remnants of red in the cracks.
Generations, hub of the farm.
If only the old barn could talk.
From its birth, in a barn raising,
lumber from a family saw mill.
Mares with foals, town dances and plows.
Hay in the loft and moonshine.
Sign of the times, acres were sold,
but the old red barn is stubborn.
It may be swaybacked in its spine,
yet, its rugged beauty is ageless.
For the contest: That Old Red Barn
Host: Rick Parise
Placement: 10th
Categories:
rear, nostalgiaold, red, old, red,
Form:
Couplet
Seen many splendid things in my eighty-one years
But the one thing that stands out is the girlie's cute rear
If I lose my seeing
My touchy and feeling
Then I guess I might as well just call it a career
Categories:
rear, fun, , cute,
Form:
Limerick
I'm finally slowing down after all these years
Yup! You heard it first... dragging up my rear
Had to happen
Still can't imagine
A young pup still am I rolling along in high gear
Categories:
rear, fun,
Form:
Limerick
Driving by and in the dim lights you
can see someone sitting in the rain
under an over hang of a house with a
distraught look upon their face.
Lifting their head up only to glance at
the passing by cars and you can
almost see the disappointment in
their eyes as they realize you are not
the person approaching the street,
just driving by, not to stop, that they
wished you were.
Categories:
rear, absence, change, cry, feelings,
Form:
Free verse